Silver Lake Series - Savior
by Fleppy85
Summary: After Sara got arrested by LAPD she meets Sofia again. They build up a friendship, learning things about each other, the other kept secret in Vegas and they aren't all good. Part 1 of the Silver Lake Series
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the CSI characters, but Jules (or, as she's real she owns herself *g*), Kyle, Lynn and everybody, who isn't part of the wonderful world of CSI and CSI NY. The motel does exist, but it's in Christchurch/NZ and not in Silver Lake. **

**This is the first book of a series of six all playing in the most beautiful area of Los Angeles: Silver Lake. **

**Part 1**

"Put your hands up! Don't move!"

Sara had no chance to react nor had she any idea what was happening to her. One second ago she had been asleep in her bed, the other second there seemed to be a dozen people in her room, all dressed up in black, with guns, yelling at her.

She got pulled out of the bed, dragged out of her room and into a car. Before she was able to think, to connect the pictures she saw with ideas what could be going on, she was in a car, that drove her away from her motel. Destination unknown.

What did happen to her? She had been back in the US since twelve hours. Her plane arrived yesterday evening at the international airport Los Angeles from San Jose, Costa Rica. Together with most of her colleagues of her project, she had checked in a motel and went straight to bed. She had been awake for almost thirty hours and needed some sleep. Sleep, that got disturbed by…

"Who are you?" She asked the man in front of her.

"Police."

That was what she had figured. SWAT. "Why am I here?"

"You've the right to remain silent…"

"Skip that, I know my rights. I want answers."

"Anything you say…"

"Shut up!" She closed her eyes. She got arrested. Why? She hadn't done anything wrong. Why did the men treat her like a terrorist? She was glad she wore some pants and a shirt and wasn't almost naked when they pulled her out of bed. She needed a lawyer. Probably.

How could she end up like this? Slowly the blurry pictures became more vivid. They took her colleagues as well, she remembered, turned, tried to see one of them in another car. But why? All they were was a bunch of scientists, that had spent some time in the jungle of Costa Rica. How could the police be possible interested in them? They must have gotten the wrong information, taken the wrong people.

The car stopped, she got pulled out of the car and into a building before she had time to look around for some of her colleagues. Left with an officer in an interrogation room, she wondered if she should tell then, she wanted to call her lawyer. The problem was, she didn't have a lawyer. Not in Los Angeles. And the one she had in Las Vegas, she had never needed and lost the number.

"Can you tell me what this all about?" She asked the officer, a man in his late fifties, who looked kind of bored.

"Sorry, I can't."

"Yeah, sure." She looked down and realized, she had no shoes on. No shoes, no underwear, let alone a comb in her not existing pocket to make her hair look like it should look. If they had taken one minute to talk to her, to let her explain who she was, she was sure, she wouldn't be here. This had to be a big misunderstanding.

"Somebody will be here to talk to you soon."

"Great." Soon could mean a lot. Soon could be a few seconds or a few hours. Because she had no idea why she was here, it was impossible for her to calculate the time she had to wait, how soon this soon would be. There was a possibility, that she had to stay here for a few hours, waiting for a detective, passed on from officer to officer. They didn't even give her a coffee, something she really needed now to wake up.

The door was opened, Sara didn't bother to turn around. Probably the next officer, who had to stay with her while the other one was due for a coffee and a donut. Food. Her stomach reminded her that she was very hungry. No wonder, the last time she had a proper meal was in San Jose, the last she had anything to eat was on her flight to L.A., a Snickers. That was at some point yesterday afternoon.

"Thanks Colby, you can step out."

How could she make it clear to the cops that she had nothing else in her mind than some sleep? She wasn't a suspect on the run, she wasn't a dealer, a hooker or whatever they thought she could be. She was a scientist, who was back from a field trip and needed some sleep. And food. And a shower. She wasn't quite sure in which order.

"Sara Sidle? It's really you."

Sara looked up and her jaw dropped. She knew this person. But she had no idea if it was real, what she saw or if her eyes played her a joke.

"Sofia?" Was that really the detective, she had worked with in Vegas? What was Sofia doing here? Did she work here? Did she order the men to get Sara here? If so, why? Was this some kind of practical joke?

"I don't believe this."

"Me neither – I think. What are you doing here?" Sara noticed that her old colleague hadn't changed a lot. Still sporty and blonde, all business, only a little sign of surprise was left in the blue eyes.

"I work here. Wanna tell me how you end up here?"

"I'd tell you if I knew. I was asleep, suddenly there were people, dragged me out of my bed, got me here and refused to talk to me. Mind to tell me what this is all about?"

"Are you a member of the group, that arrived from Costa Rica yesterday?"

"Yes. Why?"

"What were you doing there? You should be in Las Vegas."

"I quit my job over a year ago, one and a half. What am I doing here, Sofia? And don't give me crap like, I need to wait for whoever to talk to or read me my rights again. I've been through this already, answered enough question and would really appreciate it, when you could answer one of my questions so I know what's going on."

"What did you do in Costa Rica?"

Another question and no answer. Did they all ignore her questions on purpose? Didn't she have the right to get some answers?

Sara sighed. Alright, it seemed like she was the one, who was answering and not asking questions. Something new for her. "I was there with some colleagues, doing some research on the wildlife in the jungle of Costa Rica. After I left Vegas I needed some quiet time, something new and when I was in San Francisco, I met Alan, who is a member of the group too. He told me, he and some friends were about to go for a couple of weeks to Costa Rica, making a documentation about how the jungle reacts to the impact of people. What people do to the wildlife and the nature."

"So what did you find out?"

"Are you serious? You want to know about my work there?" It was impossible that her work had anything to do with why she was here.

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"No." Sara closed her eyes. This had to be a bad dream, a strange kind of nightmare. "I found out that if we go on like this, every day one species of fauna or flora will die off. There are hundreds of species that are endangered. Do you want to help our foundation or why do you ask all these questions?"

"I need your fingerprints, DNA and some blood, Sara."

"Anything else?" This became even more ridiculous every second. "A kidney, a part of my liver? Bone marrow?"

"Do you agree on a few tests?"

"What kind of tests?"

"Drugs."

Sara's eyes popped open. What did they think she did? Who did they think she was? Is couldn't be true. "Are you really the Sofia Curtis I worked with?"

"Yes."

"I doubt it at the moment, I don't think the Sofia I worked with, would ask things like you do. You must be a twin."

"I try to help you out, Sara."

"It feels more like you try to dig a grave."

"Your decision."

"Why?"

"Because it's the easiest and fasted way out for you."

"You won't answer any of my questions, will you?"

"I just answered your question why you should cooperate."

"Don't try to play me."

"I don't. So, what's your decision?"

"Get your CSI in, I've nothing to hide. And I hope you keep your word, this will get me out of here."

"If the results say so, you're free to go."

"The first sensible thing I've heard so far." And the second answer in a row she got.

* * *

Three hours later Sara was still sitting in her pajama in the same room, had given her DNA, fingerprints and blood samples to a CSI and got in exchange a coffee. Didn't help her stomach to get filled but was better than nothing. And somebody had taken pity on her naked feet and brought her a pair of socks.

"Want another coffee?" Sofia came back in the room.

"I want to leave, Sofia. How much longer do you want me to stay here? Without a reason."

"We have our reasons. The quick tests were all negative, good for you."

"What about my fingerprints and DNA? What did you use that for?"

"They didn't give us a reason to keep you."

"You're not answering my questions again."

"I'm afraid you have to get used to it. See the bright side, if I don't get specific, it means, I don't accuse you of something."

"Great. You just let me rotten here for no reason."

"No, I don't. I offered you a coffee."

"Do I look like I'm happy with a coffee?"

"No." Sofia cocked her head. "You look like somebody pulled you out of bed, like you had no time to dress, for a shower and is on the best to be really pissed off."

"One more comment like that and I'll give you a reason to hold me; assaulting an officer." Sara hissed. It was one thing when Sofia held her for police reason, another one when she made fun of her for her private pleasure.

"Calm down. I need you to sign this." Sofia put a sheet of paper on the table.

"I won't sign anything. The only thing I'll do is to say the magic word, that won't give you any legal possibilities to talk to me anymore and gives you the chance to talk to somebody, who'll get me out of here."

"You say this word and I'll take away this paper. Maybe you want to have a look at it first before you get yourself prepared for a few more hours." Sofia pushed the paper over.

Annoyed Sara picked it up and started reading.

"Where are the strings?"

"No hidden strings, Sara. You sign this, you're free to leave."

"And all I have is your word?"

"Isn't that enough?"

"Right now it doesn't feel so. Give me a reason why I should trust you. So far you haven't really done anything for me."

"Give me a reason why I should lie to you."

"What about the fact that you never really answered any of my questions."

"Can't do that, sorry. I answer them as good as I can."

"Hard to believe."

"Sara…just sign the bloody paper." Sofia sighed. "Please. For Christ's sake, I don't try to screw you. I try to get you out of here."

"That, detective Curtis, sounds more like you."

Sara took a look at the paper. She couldn't find anything that could do any hurt to her. "Pen?"

Sofia gave her a pen. With one last thought Sara signed the paper and gave it back to Sofia.

"Thanks."

"Well, thank you. Good luck with whatever you're working on."

"Sara?"

"I won't stay, Sofia. If you tell me now I can't leave, I'll kill you with my bare hands, in front of all your officers and I won't let them stop me. I got dragged out of bed, forced in a police car, treated like a murderer, kept in here for hours for no reasons and had only one lousy coffee, if you say I've to stay longer, I'll snap and you'll be the one who'll feel my aggressions. So think hard what you want to say now."

"For that I could held you." Sofia smiled a bit.

"Try it and it was the last thing you've ever done."

"Actually I want to offer you to wait a few more minutes and I'll get you back to your motel. Or do you want to take a cab in your PJ?"

"Where're the strings?"

"Again, no strings attached. Trust me. One more time." Sofia smiled.

"How long?"

"Less than five minutes."

"Okay." Sara had to give Sofia a point. She didn't want to take a cab with her PJ on. It was better to wait a moment and let the detective drive her back to the motel. After all, it was the fault of Sofia and her men why Sara was here. Had been here for …four hours.

She thought of getting another coffee and she was sure, there had to be a vending machine somewhere with something to eat. Right now she was starving and ready to eat almost everything. The problem was, beside something proper to wear she also had no money to buy anything. This wasn't a good day!

"Ready to leave or want to stay longer for a coffee?" Sofia caught Sara staring at the coffee vending machine.

"Over your dead body!"

"You're really nice to people, who want to help you, Sara."

"If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't been here all day."

"You weren't here for me, I'm the one who gets you out of here."

"After she kept me here for four hours."

"Don't you think it's wiser to offend me after I took you back?"

"Yes but I don't want to act smart right now! Smart isn't always satisfying."

Sofia grinned. She could understand Sara a little bit. "Come on, this is my car." Sofia opened the door to a black pickup truck.

Sara dropped on the passenger seat and closed her eyes. Finally out of the police department. Things could only get better from now on. All she needed was her room, a shower, a coffee, food, maybe a beer or two and all that at the same time because it was impossible to make a decision, what was the most important thing one right now. And she wanted to find out, why she had been taken to the police department like a dangerous criminal, what had happened to her colleagues. Nobody ever told her what had happened to them, she had tried to ask Sofia and the officers a few times, same with the CSI, nobody answered her questions.

"Do you have any food in the room or a room service?"

"What?" Sofia's words got her out of her thoughts.

"Do you have any food in the room or can you order something with the room service?"

"Why? Do you want to invite yourself for a late lunch?"

"The sound of your voice tells me, you don't like the idea. No, I'm asking because I want to know if I should get us through a drive through. Or do you want to get rid off me as fast as possible and get later something to eat?"

"Could you blame me for that?"

"Well, I haven't done anything bad to you, but I guess, in your eyes, I'm kind of the bad guy."

"I won't repeat what I said already."

"Alright, so yes or no? Do you need some late lunch or not? And try to make your decision with your stomach and not the stubborn head."

"Bite me."

"I'm hungry too, but not that hungry." Sofia drove her car to a fast food restaurant and stopped in front of the menu. "Choose."

"Maybe the Californian sun damaged your eyes, I wear my PJ, where do you expect me to have my wallet?"

"See it as an invitation of the LAPD."

"Make up for what they did to me for no reason? What a cheap way."

"Sara." Sofia said a little bit annoyed, shook her head, let her window down and drove forward. The always strange sounding voice, you could barely understand, no matter where you were, asked for their wishes.

"I'd like to have a double meat and cheese combo with a large coke."

"A…thi.. el..?"

Sofia looked at Sara.

"Mixed salad and a coke." The brunette grumbled. She was sure her stomach had said these words and not her head.

"A mixed salad and a coke. Also large. Thanks." Sofia let her car roll to the window, paid, took their order and handed the bag to Sara.

"Enjoy your meal."

"Thanks. Do you want your food too?"

"Can't drive and eat. I'll eat it later."

"Why didn't you order it later?"

"Because then I've to come here again. Don't worry, I'm used to cold fries and burgers."

"That's ridiculous. Stop the damn car and eat."

Sofia's left corner of her mouth rose. "Are you giving me orders, Sara? Do you think you're in a position to do so?"

"You can kick me out of the car if you don't like it." Not a smart thing to say when you were somewhere in a city, you didn't know, wore only your PJ and had no money.

"I should do that, yes. You deserve it."

"Bite me."

"I turned that offer already two minutes ago down. I've got something else to eat now." Sofia checked her GPS. They weren't far away from Sara's motel, she could eat in the parking lot there.

Sara definitely didn't waste any time with waiting. She had eaten half of her salad and her coke was gone by the time they reached the motel. Looked like she was thirsty and hungry.

"Home sweet home." Sofia smiled and stopped her car. "Don't forget that you're supposed to stay a little bit longer here, Sara. And that we expect you give us a smile every day at twelve sharp in the department. You're late a minute, you'll be on radio and then you'll stay longer than four hours."

"Thanks for driving." Sara simply said, opened the door. "Give me a second and I'll get you the money for the salad."

"Don't be ridiculous, I told you…" Sofia stopped when Sara slammed the door and walked away. "Bitch. Oh wait, it's still my game." Sofia tuned the car and drove away. As long as she was in the car, she could make the decision where to park and stay. And not Sara Sidle.


	2. Chapter 2

Sara realized what Sofia was doing before she reached her room. Of course the blonde left, she had done the same and she was way too tired and exhausted to be mad. Maybe a little bit. Smug bitch!

Sara almost fell backwards out of her room when she opened the door. The unlocked door. What did happen here? It looked like a hurricane had been here while she was away. All her clothes were tossed on the ground, the sheets were on the couch, the cushions on and under the table, her food was on the ground, over the little kitchenette, the door of the fridge was open and her towels laid wet in the shower.

"What the hell…?" Sara took a deep breath. This had to be the work of the police and she felt an urge to call Sofia and tell her to send her men over and tidy up this chaos up. For crying out loud, she hadn't done anything wrong and got not only treated like a suspect of a major crime but her room was messed up too like they imagined to find whatever in here. A new thought crossed her mind. Was she still booked in this room?

One last look at the chaos she closed the door and went to reception. A slightly bored looking woman sat there, reading a book.

"I'm sorry, I've got a question."

"Sure." She put her book away, not irritated that Sara still wore nothing else than her PJ. "How can I help?"

"I'm Sara Sidle, I live in room seventeen and I wonder, if that's still my room."

"Let me have a look." The woman checked the computer. "As far as my computer says, you didn't check out, you've got another night. Is there any problem?"

"Do you have room service?"

"Yes, they come along between nine and noon."

"I assume they don't let my room look like El Nino just visited."

"That wouldn't be their job, no. Why? Did somebody break into your room?"

Did this woman not know what happened here in the morning or was she playing dumb?

"When did your shift start?"

"An hour ago. Why?"

"I don't know what your colleagues told you, but the police was here this morning and I assume they messed my room up. Which isn't such a problem, it looks like nothing is destroyed. Did they went in every room or was it back luck, that I got pulled out of my bed?"

"All I know it had something to do with drugs and they were in some rooms. Maybe they wrote down the wrong number and ended in your room. Didn't they tell you?"

"No, they weren't very talkative. Anyway, I'd like to stay a little longer if that's possible." She had no other choice than to stay longer, she signed fore that.

"How much longer would you like to stay?"

Like? This word sounded so wrong right now. "Let's say until Sunday." If Sofia wanted her to be longer in L.A., LVPD had to pay the rent. She wasn't willing to cooperate more. One week was what she had planed for Los Angeles, if anybody wanted her to stay longer, this person had to pay.

"No problem, I booked you in. Anything else I can do for you?"

"Yes. While messing up the room the police managed to throw my towels in the shower and turn on the water. I've no idea why they did that, but I need a dry towel to have a shower and feel like a human again."

"No problem." The woman handed her two towels. "Shall I get the wet ones out of the room for you?"

"No, that's alright. I'll give them to the service people tomorrow morning."

"Okay. Anything else I can do for you?"

"You don't happen to know where the nearest supermarket is? I don't feel like using the coffee powder, that's on the carpet nor do I want to eat the banana, somebody stepped on." And that the only food she had with her. Plus the little box of cereals, she got at reception last night. Unfortunately the cereals were all over her kitchenette.

"Two blocks south, turn right, the supermarket is around one hundred yards down the road." The woman bent down, Sara imagined she wanted to give her a map, but instead she handed her a little package with coffee powder. "Not the best stuff, but maybe you prefer to have some kind of coffee before you start shopping."

"Thanks."

"And something for the shock." She put a Snickers on the package. "That's all I can offer for now. Well, I can give you the number of a few delivery services…"

"No, that's alright, maybe later. Thank you." Sara took her towel, coffee and the Snickers and went back to her room. Better than nothing.

She threw her clothes in the room, hung the wet towels over the basin and stepped into the shower. The hot water was the best feeling she had today. Or at least it was at same level with the salad and the coke. It was like a she could wash some of her problems away. Eyes closed, the hot water falling on her head, her skin, giving her a light massage and the feeling of it could only get better now and this shower was the first step to a better day.

She wrapped herself in the towels and left the shower. The whole morning she had looked forward to dress in something proper, now that she saw her clothes, she felt the urge to wash them before she put them on. She didn't want to imagine who had touched them, who had stepped on them or whatever else they did with her things. So put on her PJ, grabbed all her clothes and walked to the washing machine. Of course she had no quarter. And no washing powder.

"I'm sorry to bother you again." She said when she was back at reception.

"You don't bother me, it's my job to be here and help people out."

"Yeah, if every guest annoys you with stupid requests and questions, you'll have a busy day."

"Better than sitting around, doing nothing." The woman smiled relaxed. "What can I do for you?"

"I'd like to use the washing machine and have no quarters and no washing powder. How long does the washing machine take?"

"Forty minutes. And another half an hour for the dryer."

"Alright, a little bit over an hour before I can wear something else. I'll survive that."

"That's the spirit." The receptionist handed Sara a few quarters. "That should be enough for one load of the washing machine and half an hour for the dryer. If your clothes aren't dry enough, you can get some more quarters. If there are only a few pieces wet, we've a clothes line, just take the door next to the dryer."

"If I put only the clothes, I want to wear today in the dryer, it be fast, won't it?"

"Jeans, shirt, socks, underwear? Ten minutes."

"I'll do that and use for the rest the clothes line."

"Okay. Oh and Miss Sidle?"

"Yes?"

"If you want new sheets, behind the second door in the laudry are fresh sheets and pillow cases. Take some, I imagine, when they messed up your room, they didn't stop for the bed."

"No, they didn't. Thank you very much."

"No problem at all."

Sara left the reception, started the washing machine, took some sheets and pillow cases and went back to her room. After her bed was made, she stripped down, went into bed and closed her eyes. Half an hour time for some rest. Right now her body needed a break more than a coffee and some chocolate. What a fuss for nothing. All this just because the police dragged her out of her room and…her colleagues! She needed to find out what happened to them. So far she hadn't seen anyone of them.

She opened the drawer of the nightstand. Empty. She had put her wallet and her cell phone in their last night. She was sure about that. She opened the next drawer. Nothing. Annoyed and mad, she left her bed, started to look around the room. There was her wallet! On the table. She opened it, checked credit cards and money. Everything seemed to be there. Her I.D. was in another place, the police must had used it to identify her and put it back at the wrong place. Where the hell was her cell phone? Not on the table, not somewhere to see in the room. Did they take it?

Sara grabbed her room telephone. "Operator, I need to be connected to LVPD, department…" She had no idea at which department she had been. "…Silver Lake?"

"1358 Wilcox Avenue, Hollywood?"

"Maybe, yes."

"213 485 4302. I'll connect you."

"Thanks." Sara had written the number down, in case she needed it again. It seemed like LAPD was good for many surprises, why not being prepared?

"LAPD, how can I help you?"

"I need to speak to Sofia Curtis. Detective Curtis."

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant Curtis isn't available right now. Can I leave her a message?"

Lieutenant? Apparently Sofia had taken another stop to become like her mother, a captain. "Yes. Tell her, I want my cell phone back!"

"Are you sure Lieutenant Curtis has your phone, Miss Sidle?"

"Either her or one of her officers, who pulled me out of bed this morning. I don't care who took it, I want it back! This is police harassment. They had no rights to take my phone, nor had they any rights to take me out of my room and treat me like a murderer." It felt good to practically yell these words at somebody. She felt a little bit of a relief.

"I'm sure the officers had their reasons."

"Sure. Give me anybody, who is in charge. I want my phone back."

"Wait a minute, please."

Sara bristled with anger. She wasn't willing to wait longer than a minute. What did they think who they were? She had some damn rights, she was a citizen of this country and they had no rights to treat her like this.

"Miss Sidle?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, you're cell phone is evidence."

"Evidence? Why?"

"I can't tell you details about the case. If there aren't any questions or problems, you can get it back tomorrow. I see, you're due to be here at noon…"

"Great. Thanks for nothing!" Sara ended the call. So much for her day could only get better. It was still a freaking disaster.

* * *

"Sara? Thank God you're alright!"

"Billy!" Sara dropped her shopping back and hugged the tall man. After she had something to wear, she went to the supermarket to get some food. On her way back, she made the decision, she wanted to go back to the police station. She wanted to know what happened to her colleagues and what was all this about. To see Billy, who had been with her in Costa Rica the past months, was a relief.

"Did they take you too?" He asked.

"The police? Yes. You?"

"Just came back. They pulled me out of the shower."

"Out of bed." She sat on the bench in front of his room.

"At least you weren't naked."

"No. I hope you were allowed to put some clothes on."

"Kind of. A towel and I got some clothes at the station."

"Why did they do that, Billy?" Sara looked at the almost seven feet tall man with the bronze skin and the dark brown eyes. They had become friends the last months, had worked some projects together. He had been a great help in bad times.

"All I know is that it had something to do with drugs."

"Yeah, I had to make a drug test and my room looks like somebody searched it for drugs or whatever. But how did they get this idea?"

"I don't know. Maybe because we came from Costa Rica? Drug mules?"

"They don't make such a fuss only because a few people come back from Costa Rica. There had to be a reason why they acted like they did. Somebody must have given them a hint, some-thing to get a warrant and everything for this. You can't just walk into a few rooms and pull people to the department."

"They didn't tell me. I asked for a lawyer, but before one arrived I was free to go. What about you? When did they let you go?"

"Three hours ago."

"Anybody else back?"

"I haven't seen anybody. I went shopping because there was nothing left in my room I could eat or drink."

"My room is a mess too. They told me I've to stay available the next days."

"Same here."

"Well, I don't give a damn about what they wish."

"Does that mean you'll leave?"

"Yes. I'm on the next bus to San Diego. I've no idea what went wrong here, but I won't do any time for something I didn't do. There'll be a new excursion from San Diego, starting the day after tomorrow, why don't you come with me?"

"I can't."

"Why? Because they asked you to stay?"

"Yes."

"Did you do anything wrong?"

"Hell no!"

"Then they've no reason to make you stay. Come on, lets leave."

It was tempting to agree and leave with him. From San Diego it was only a short trip to Tijuana. Once they were in Mexico, it wasn't a problem to vanish to any South American country and stay there. A new excursion meant, there was some work. The easiest way to get out of this, to forget all of this.

"I can't. Sorry Billy, I've to stay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'll sort this out and will meet you later."

"I'm not sure if I can call you, Sara."

"We'll find a way. You've got my number, if I get my cell phone back, you know how to reach me."

"You'll tell the cops?"

"What do you think?" She furrowed her brows. Just because she didn't join, it didn't mean she wanted him to be caught.

"Not one word." He hugged her. "Take care, will you?"

"Yes."

"And don't worry about the rest, they'll be fine as soon as the police find out, we're nothing more than a bunch of scientists."

"Yeah." That was what she hoped for. Nothing more than a bunch of scientists, who got accused to be drug dealer or drug mules. For no reason. She hoped.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 2**

"Hi, I'm Sara Sidle and I want to say hello and get my cell phone back." Sara said to the women at the front desk in the police department. It was noon, to be some specific, twelve on the dot.

"We're not lost and found."

"I didn't lose it, it was taken by your colleagues and I got told, I can have it back today." If it wasn't evidence anymore, but she didn't want to mention that. It would only make her angry, which could lead to not only not getting her cell phone back but also another stay here.

"One moment, please."

She bit on her lips to avoid a comment like, she was used to wait a few moments here. Carefully she took a look around. No Sofia. Good.

"Here you are, Miss Sidle." The woman had her cell phone.

"Thanks."

"Lieutenant Curtis would like to see you."

"Did I anything wrong? Am I in trouble?"

"No. She just wrote a little note, that she'd like to see you."

"Well, if it's case related, she can contact my lawyer. For anything else, she knows where I live."

"But…"

"Am I under arrest?"

"No."

"Have a nice day." Sara turned and walked away. There was no way she'd spend more time in here than she had to. And if there was no legal reason for Sofia to ask her to stay longer, she wouldn't stay here. There were a lot of things she preferred to do before she was down her list that far that she wanted to see Sofia.

She hadn't seen any of her colleagues, had no idea, what happened to them. When she had her breakfast in the morning, the room service woman had asked her, if she knew what happened to them. Their rooms were due to leave and nobody came, to get the belongings. She couldn't call them, their cell phones were all off und since Billy was gone, she hadn't seen or heard anything. Eight people in total, seven without her, Billy gone made six more in custody. Or They had left L.A. like Billy did and didn't tell her. She hadn't been very close to the rest. But still, they were her colleagues.

She knew, she wouldn't get any answers, so she saved herself the time to ask questions at the department. She did what she had to do and that was all. No extra time in the department, no visit for her old colleague.

* * *

"You like to ignore requests, don't you?" Sofia stepped into Sara's room.

The brunette, who laid on her bed, watched TV, turned her head. With her hands over her eyes to shield them to see the blonde despite the sunshine, that shone into her face. Not that she hadn't recognize the voice.

"I can't remember that I asked you to come in."

"Wanna call security? Or the police. Oh no wait, I am the police. How handy. Wanna call me? After you've got your cell back."

"I think, you should leave now." Sara turned off the TV and sat up. She didn't invite Sofia, she didn't want to talk to her, she didn't want her here.

"Usually you can't ask the police to leave you alone."

"If you're here on business, close the door from the outside and talk to my lawyer." Maybe she had to get a lawyer. This was police harassment.

"And if I'm not on duty?"

"Close the door from the outside and don't call my lawyer."

"You really kick me out?"

"I can't see any reason why I should spend time with you."

"The good old times."

"Since when were we friends?"

"Ouch. Your last word? No little conversation?"

"A conversation your way or a conversation ordinary people have?"

"I'm not an ordinary person?"

"Ordinary people answer questions, you don't do that. So I'm not interested in talking to you; be interrogated by you."

Sofia shook her head. "You're so stubborn."

"You don't give me any reasons to talk to you, Sofia. Offending me won't help you."

"Alright. Last chance: a compromise."

"A compromise? I can't remember that I've asked for something, why do I need a compromise? I'm fine with how it is, with not talking to you. Why do you want to talk to me, Sofia? If it has anything to do with whatever you were doing yesterday, you can get me and my lawyer downtown and talk to him while I'll listen."

"I don't want to talk to a lawyer. Why do you try to avoid to talk to me so badly?"

"Because I can't see any reason why I should talk to you."

"Are we back at the state of our relationship we had at the beginning? When you hated me ."

"Don't take yourself too important, why should I hate you?"

"Maybe I get your signals wrong, but you're not very friendly right now."

Sara closed her eyes. Maybe she was too harsh, maybe she should give Sofia a minute or two. After all, Sara had been out of the department faster than her colleagues and she knew, it had to do with Sofia. Also because she didn't do anything wrong, but she knew her old relationship to Sofia was the reason, why they believed her faster and let her go. "What's your compromise?"

"I get the pizza, I've in car, in here, we have a little conversation, I will answer questions as long as they don't endanger the operation and you try not to snap at me and answer a few of my questions – of course with the chance to say no."

"You've got pizza in your car? You planed this." Sara hated it when people tried to play her. Buying her with pizza? She should send Sofia away for that. Unfortunately her mouth got watery when she thought of a pizza.

"Let's say, I hoped, pizza is a way to get a minute or two more. You can bribe most people with a good pizza with double cheese."

"What kind of pizza?"

"One half vegetarian, one half meat lover."

"I'll extend the time I talk to you from two minutes to a half pizza." Sara smiled. She had been hungry for a while, but too lazy to get up and make herself something to eat.

"Deal." Sofia grinned, wanted to leave the room and stopped. "Wait a second. You didn't agree to make me leave the room to get the pizza and before I've reached my car, you've locked your door and I won't see anything of you again? Is that your plan?"

"You're very suspicious, detective."

"Lieutenant."

"Whatever. If the pizza is cold, I won't talk to you at all. Time's running."

"I trust you, Sara." Sofia left the room.

Sara played for a second with the idea to get up, lock the door and leave Sofia outside. What a nice idea, the easiest way to have a quiet evening. On the other hand, it would look a kind of cheap when she did what the blonde asked her not to do. And she had the pizza.

She left her bed, went into the little kitchen. So it looked like she had to spend some with Sofia. Didn't it just sound like she was a lamb on it's way to the slaughter? Maybe she was overreacting. A bit. Okay, they had never been friends, but they had managed to find a way to work together and even had some fun while doing that. And Sofia was one of the two people, who found her, when she was in the desert. Maybe Sara wouldn't be alive if t hadn't been for the blonde and Nick. Wasn't she supposed to show some gratitude for that?

"Wow, the door is really still open."

"And how is the pizza?"

"Feels nice and warm."

"Good." Sara went back to the room with a six-pack in her hands, dropped on the floor, back to her bed.

"What's wrong with the table and chairs?"

"Furniture is overrated."

"Alright." Sofia laughed and sat opposite to the brunette, her back on the sofa. "Help yourself." She opened the box and immediately the smell of pizza was in the air.

"Ditto." Sara pushed the six pack over.

"I've to drive, Sara."

"Right. Want some coke?"

"If you tell me where it is, I'll get it and you don't have to get up again. Or do you think, I'll sniff around your room?"

"The way my room looked when I came back yesterday, I doubt there's anything in here, you or your guys haven't already seen. The next time, send the crime scene cleaners to tidy up the mess your men make."

"They did their job. Sorry."

"Yeah, yeah. Coke is in the fridge."

"Thanks." Sofia smiled and came back a few seconds later with a can of coke. "So, ask me your questions, Sara."

"Why did your guys got us out of the rooms and pulled us to the department like we were some kind of criminals?"

"First of all, they are not my guys, I'm homicide, this wasn't a homicide investigation. I'm in it because they were short in men and when I had a look at the people, who got pulled in, I saw your name and made the decision, I want to talk to you. To answer your question why the SWAT pulled you out of the room: Because some of the people, you worked with, are criminals."

"Sofia, we're scientists…"

"Sorry to interrupt you, Sara. How well do you know all people of this group?"

"As good as you know people when you work with them for a few weeks. How good do you know people you've worked with?" An obvious hint to their own relationship.

"Better than you know some of your scientists. Sara, we found in the eight rooms we searched twenty pounds of pure heroin. In four different rooms, I really doubt, the heroin was in the rooms before you checked in."

Sara stared at Sofia. She wasn't sure if she could believe her ears. Twenty pounds of heroin? In the rooms of her colleagues? That was…not possible. Was it?

"We were in Costa Rica for research and…"

"I believe, that you were there and that most of the other people were there for research. Fact is, at least four were there for other reasons too. And in the suitcase of two other people we found residue of heroin."

"Twenty pounds…who had the heroin?"

"I can't tell you."

"Sofia, please."

"Sorry, I can't. The case isn't build."

"Alright, I'll rephrase my question. Is it possible that I transported heroin in the country when somebody asked me to put his bathroom bag in my suitcase because his suitcase was too full and heavy?"

"Who asked you?"

"Yes or no?"

"Yes. Who?"

"In case I did do that, will you arrest me?"

"Did you know what was in the bag?"

"I never checked it, I believed it was nothing else than tooth paste, shampoo, towels and whatever else you've in your bathroom bag."

"Your room was checked with drug dogs, like all the other rooms too. The dog didn't find anything in your room or in your stuff. If you transported drugs in the country, it was hidden very good."

"Better than in the cases of the other two, who had the residue?"

"I can't answer that question."

"Thought so."

"Sara, I need a name. You were a CSI, I don't have to lecture you about obligations and what heroin does to people."

"You'll find out anyway, I touched the bag, my fingerprints are all over it. In fact, you can arrest me for that, makes me a suspect."

"If they find your fingerprints, yes, there'll be questions. It could help if I tell them, you touched this bag and why you touched it. People will believe you more when you tell them those information without pressure."

"People or you?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Call me stupid to say this, but I'll believe you anyway." Sofia sighed. There was no way she would believe, Sara had anything to do with drugs. They hadn't seen each other for a while, people changed but she doubted, Sara Sidle would change this much.

"Thanks." A little smile appeared on Sara's face. "Does that mean, we've to go to the department, go back to the interrogation room and have a conversation?"

"That would be the proper way of procedure – and a waste of warm pizza. I'm a lieutenant, why don't you try to talk to me here ? No officer, no lawyer, I call my guys in the lab and if needed, I'll call you and ask you to come to the department and repeat whatever you told me here."

"Alright. Albert asked me to take his bag. It was red, a foot wide, a little bit longer. It was closed, it felt like there were towels inside. I never touched anything else than the outside, put the bag in my suitcase, gave it back to him when we arrived here."

"Was it heavy?"

"You mean, could be in a few pounds? Yes. I thought, he had shampoo and things like that inside, never wondered about the weight."

"And he asked you to take the bag when?"

"The day we flew back. Told me, he had bought too many souvenirs for his parents and didn't have enough space for his stuff, if I could help him out. I had some space left, so I agreed. You don't supposed your colleague to be a drug mule."

"I don't accuse you of anything, Sara. If somebody I've worked with for several weeks, had asked me this question and I had space in my suitcase, I had done the same." Sofia put her hand on Sara's for a short moment.

"Looks like you need to be suspicious all the time, no matter how good you think you know the other one."

"Unfortunately this statement is too often true."

"He is one of the four people you found the drugs in the room, isn't he?"

"Yes."

Sara closed her eyes. "What now?"

"Now I'll call my CSI guys, tell them to print the bag from the outside and inside. I believe you, so there won't be any fingerprints of you inside or on any of the things in the bag. You know I can't promise you, that because I believe you, nobody will ask you further questions or you'll get invited to come back to the department for another statement but I'll say that I believe it was just the way you told me."

"Okay. Thanks." Sara knew, there wasn't much more Sofia could do. She had to give this information to her colleagues and she had to ask Sara to go back to the department if there were further questions. The fact, that she believed Sara's story and wanted to say this if needed, was all she could do.

"I need to make a phone call…will the door still be open when I come back?"

"Depends. If the call lasts a few hours the door will be closed."

"I didn't plan to stay that long on the phone."

"In that case the chances of an open door are high." Sara smiled.

"Good." Sofia rose and left the room. Sara waited a few seconds. She had been used as a drug mule. By somebody, she had thought was a friend. Somebody, she had worked with for a few weeks. She had been used. She could be in jail. If the police had found the bag in her room or somebody at the airport had found it, Sara's life would be over now.

Had the whole trip been nothing more than a cover up for drugs? Was their work nothing more than a way to get drugs into the country? Was all the work she had done been worthless because nobody cared about it? The things, she wanted to do with this projects, the help the animals and the nature had it never been any interest to the group? Were these things, they had planed next, only another cover up for another drug transportation?

"Sara?" Sara flinched. Out of the blue Sofia's hand was on her shoulder and the blonde slipped next to her on the floor.

"Sorry I…" Why was her voice so weak? Why did she feel like she was losing it? Where was her control? Her self-esteem?

"Hey." Sofia pulled Sara in her arms and was surprised when the brunette didn't try to fight her and allowed her to hold her. Like she was surprised by her own action. Something about Sara triggered something inside Sofia, something that told her, she had to protect the other woman. Had to make her feel safe.

"I'm fine." Sara pulled back, got up and started to pace around. "I can handle that. What did your colleagues say?"

"You need to come to the department, I need you to repeat everything, make it official."

"When?"

"I told them, we'll do that tomorrow. You need to come down at noon anyway, you can a little bit earlier or we do that later. Whatever suits you best."

"I'll come in early, get over with it."

"Your lawyer is a morning person."

"We both know I don't have one, so why pretend I'll bring one?"

"To annoy the lieutenant?" Sofia got up too. She didn't like Sara pacing around.

"No, I don't waste time for things like that."

"Not?"

"No. Since when are you a lieutenant anyway?"

"A few months. Why?"

"Just wondering, detective Curtis."

"Is the new title disturbing you, Sara?"

"No, only unfamiliar."

"Stay a little bit longer and you'll get used to it."

"Thanks for the offer, I don't think I'll stay longer. I've agreed , had to agree, to stay until Sunday, why should I stay longer?"

"Where do you plan to go after L.A.?" Sofia sat on the couch, hoped Sara would sit down too and stopped walking around.

"Don't know. We were supposed to go back to Costa Rica…I guess we won't do that."

"No…there's one member of your team missing. He was supposed to show up at the department today, but didn't. You don't happen to know anything about this, do you?"

"Are you interrogating me, Sofia?"

"No."

"Sure?"

"They'll ask you this question tomorrow in case he hasn't shown up until then and we both know, he won't."

"He has nothing to do with the drugs."

"Not?"

"No!" At least Sara wanted to believe that. Was it possible that Billy was involved? Was that the reason why he left? He told her, he wanted to go to San Diego and vanish from there somewhere in South America. The best place to hide for somebody, who had anything to do with drugs. But Billy…they had been so close, had become friends. Did he fool her? Use her like the others did? Was she such a bad judge of character?

"Shit." Sara dropped on her bed, hands covering her face. This had to be a nightmare, this couldn't be real.

"I know you don't want to…want anybody to have any problems." Slowly Sofia rose and walked over to Sara. She placed a hand on the shoulder of the brunette. "And I feel stupid saying this, realizing I'll sound like a cop, who tries to convince a criminal to give up their companions. But when you try to safe him, no matter if he's guilty or not, you harm yourself. And frankly, I don't want to see you in jail. Shit, I still sound like a cop, who tries to play a suspect. Sorry."

"Yes you do."

"Sorry. I really am. What can I do to sound like…not so much like a cop?"

"You are a cop."

"I know. I need to find a way that I won't sound or act like a cop, who tries to play you. The problem is, I'm a cop through and through, it's hard to be something I'm not."

"You told me, you sound like you want to play me, that makes it less possible that you want to play me and you can't be what you're not. That has never worked out, for nobody."

"I can try. Somehow. All I need is a beginning…"

"Why not start with a beer?"

"Cop or not, I don't drink and drive."

"You live far away?"

"No, in fact, I do live in Silver Lake too. Have a lovely view on the Hollywood sign. But it's not a distance, I want to walk. Oh well, I'll call a cab." Sofia took two bottles of beer, opened the first one with the second and used a lighter to open the second one.

"Interesting skills, lieutenant. I didn't know you're a smoker."

"I'm not, a lighter can be useful anytime. And I learnt how to open a bottle with another when I was younger."

"Younger or too young to drink legally?"

"No comment on that."

"You didn't want to act like a cop anymore, did you forget? You can be honest."

"That's no reason to confess to illegal things I might have done."

"Don't you trust me, Sofia?"

"Not that much." The blonde grinned and took Sara's hand. "All I want is that this case won't affect you in any bad way, Sara. I'll sacrifice your colleague if I have to. I know, you don't have anything to do with the drugs, but I won't bet on that for anybody else of the group. And if we ask somebody to come in once a day and this person doesn't show up, we believe, he has something to hide. Anybody who tries to help him, gets our attention and that not in a good way. I'd like to keep you out of this attention."

"Even if I know anything, I get myself in trouble when I admit it because I kind of helped him to vanish by not calling you."

"You had no idea that he had to be at the police station once a day until I told you."

"What if I did?"

"You did NOT know anything about that, do you hear me?" Sofia's eyes became narrow when she looked at Sara. She tried to help the brunette, she didn't want to hear anything, that endangered that.

"Okay."

"Good. I'm glad we understand each other."

"He won't come tomorrow."

"He left the country." Sofia didn't need Sara to answer this question, she knew the answer herself. Everybody, who didn't show up and was this close to the border, had left the country. She would do the same.

"Yes."

"Do you think he has anything to do with the drugs?"

"No." She still believed in his innocence. The problem was before Sofia showed up today, she had believed the whole group was innocent. To be that wrong scared her. "But that's the same answer I'd have given you yesterday about anybody of the team."

"I understand."

"I'm not the best judge of character, am I?" Had she been wrong in Billy? She could handle when she was wrong with most of the team, but Billy?

"You let me in your room, you didn't lock the door when you had the chance, I think you're doing just fine." Sofia grinned.

"Don't be that smug, lieutenant." Sara had no other choice than to smile a bit.

"If it makes you smile again it's a good thing. Come on, investigator, everybody is allowed to be wrong sometimes."

"In our jobs mistakes are not allowed. They can destroy lives, can make that killer are back on the street."

Sofia smiled.

"What?"

"Our jobs? You think about a return as a CSI?"

"I didn't - until now. I wanted to join another excursion to Costa Rica, well, that won't happen, I need to find something else. But I'm not sure if I'm ready to work as a CSI again." She didn't feel like it. Not now. But when she was honest, she also didn't feel like to go back to the jungle, work and act like nothing ever happened to her. Like all this had never happened.

"Can you go back to Vegas?"

"I quit the job, you know how good I got along with Ecklie, so I doubt I'll go back there."

"But you can imagine to work as a CSI again?"

"One day. Yes."

"Well, no need to hurry, take all the time you need. And if you want to go back to Costa Rica, I'm sure there are excursions, that really are made for the environment and not for drugs."

"I hope so." Sara put her empty bottle away, took two new ones, opened them with a opener she had on her key chain and handed one to Sofia.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. I think, this is a good evening for some beer."

"If you don't have more in your fridge, this will be the last one."

"No more hidden six packs, sorry. We can share the last one, after that, we need to stop or find a way to get some more. Do they deliver beer in L.A.?"

"I've no idea." Sofia laughed. But they could try to find it out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 3**

Sara rolled her eyes while the officer read her her rights. She was in an interrogation room (again) and an over careful officer read her the Miranda warning although she had told him, she knew her rights, had worked for the law enforcements for years and had heard them two days ago.

"There'll be somebody with you soon and talk to you." He finished.

"Great. Just make sure it won't be hours again like the last time I talked to you guys."

"I don't know anything about that…"

"As long as you make sure it won't happen again everything is alright. You can go now, I'm fine and will wait. Don't worry." Gosh, she really hoped they made sure he learnt how to do his job before they let him out of the department or handle some criminals. He was so green behind his ears, it reminded her of spring time.

"Thanks for coming here, Miss Sidle." Sofia came into the room, all business. For somebody, who wasn't illegal, she was around a lot. Or was she here because she had talked to Sara the first time and yesterday?

"I'm doing my duty as a good citizen of this country, det… lieutenant Curtis." Somehow her brain didn't want to acknowledge Sofia as a lieutenant.

"Glad to hear that. You've got information about the drugs, that were found in the possession of some colleagues of you."

"Like I said yesterday, I happened to transport a bag for one of the men, who is accused of being a drug dealer. I didn't know at any time what was in the bag, he gave it to me as his personal bathroom bag, that he couldn't pack in his own suitcase anymore."

"You weren't aware he asked the same somebody from your group?"

"No."

"Did you check what was in the bag?"

"No. I believed him and I didn't want to sniff around. Besides, shampoo, comb and towels are not that exciting to look at. I took the bag, transported it to L.A. and gave it back to him when we arrived at the motel. I never looked inside, I never touched anything more than the outside of the bag."

"You were a CSI, you know how to leave no traces."

Sara raised an eyebrow. Did Sofia try to get her in trouble?

"Yes, I was a CSI. And as a former member of the law enforcement, I know what I've to do, when I discover drugs. If you want, you can check my file, I was never in trouble for drugs."

"We already talked to your supervisors."

Another surprise. Sara wasn't sure anymore if she regretted that she was here without a lawyer. If she really could trust Sofia.

"They confirmed your statement and assured us, you've got nothing to do with drugs." Sofia continued.

"I'm sure your CSI team checked the bag, I gave you my blood for a drug test. You didn't find anything because I have nothing to with drugs."

"There's no reason to believe anything else, Miss Sidle."

"Thanks. Anything else I can help you with?"

"Billy Demand, do you know where exactly he is?"

Exactly? No, Sara had no idea where Billy was exactly and Sofia knew that. If the blonde had asked of Sara had any idea where Billy might be, Sara had told her about San Diego and Billy's plans to leave to South America. This way, she didn't have to do that.

"No."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"The day after we arrived in Los Angeles, the day, LAPD got us all here."

"Where and when did you meet him?"

"In front of the motel, briefly, in the evening."

"Were you surprised to see him there?"

"I was surprise not to see the whole team. Nobody had told me why I got hold here for all those hours."

"Then what?"

"He told me LAPD found drugs and that was the reason why he had been downtown. He was surprised, annoyed, that somebody used our group for drugs."

"Did he tell you what he wanted to do next?"

"This group was due to leave the country again in two weeks, I assume he's looking for another group to join and continue his work." That wasn't exactly an answer to Sofia's questions. The blonde knew that too.

"Do you know which group?"

"No."

"Is there anything you can tell us, that helps us to find him?"

"He'll be somewhere in Central or South America, which isn't any help for you."

"No. Are you in contact with him?"

"No. I met him during the excursion, we weren't friends. In case he calls me, I'll let LAPD know." Maybe. She had to think about that when it was the time.

* * *

After – how she felt about it – wasting over an hour of her time at the police department, Sara made the decision to take the bus down to Venice. The famous Venice Boardwalk, filled with weird and interesting people, was the best way to get her thoughts away from the drugs. And the thought of what she was supposed to do next.

Feet in sand, head on a towel, shades on and a bottle of cold water next to her, she closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the sound of the waves and not the noise around her. The noise wasn't there in reality. In reality she was alone, a Caribbean island, an endless white sandy beach, the crying children a few yards away were some seagulls, fighting for some fish, the loud music from behind here was nothing more than the sound the palms made while they told her stories of pirates and gold. The yelling surfer in the water were dolphins, playing tag, enjoying their day. This wasn't Venice, this was Sara's Island, her own secret and very private paradise with…a cell phone. She didn't know she bought an island with cell phone signal.

"What?"

"Where are you?"

"I was at your department today, we talked, I'm not due for another meeting until tomorrow noon."

"Where, Sara?"

"Venice." Sara ended the call before Sofia could say anything else and turned her cell phone off. Now she had an island without a cell phone signal. She laid back again, closed her eyes and sighed. Right. Where had she been? Yes, at the beach. Her beach. She laid…under a palm after the ball, that hit her, turned into a coconut. Her dinner for later. She loved coconuts. There had to be…a colorful bird, maybe a macaw, that landed on the palm and made the coconut fall. And after the coconut she'd get some fresh bananas from her banana trees…it was her island, if she wanted banana tress on it, there were some.

And for the night there was a huge and comfortable hammock waiting for her. It would shake her gently into a deep sleep, filled with dreams about her island and the exciting things she could do here. Like swimming with dolphins. Oh yes, she'd go out for a swim with the friendly dolphins, dive with them to see some turtles and a lot of colorful fish. She'd find Nemo and Dorie.

"You look like a lobster."

Lobster? Of yes, they were also around her island, lobster, shrimps, maybe even a seal. She liked seals. They were a little bit smelly but so cute. And friendly too. Like everything on her island.

"Sara? You need to get out of the sun."

Was it already time for the sunset? Time to watch the sun go down in the west, the sky turns from a deep blue to a deep red, bringing some shade and…rain? Sara squeaked and jumped up. This rain wasn't planed and this rain wasn't part of her dream, it didn't belong on her island. It only rained here when she was in the water, when she was wet anyway.

"What the…get off my island!" She didn't invite Sofia.

"Your island? Yes, you spent too much time in the sun." Sofia had problems to stay serious. It looked like Sara had been dreaming.

"What are you doing here? Didn't you just annoy me five minutes ago on the phone?"

"More like three hours ago. By the look at you, you spent the afternoon here in the sun."

"None of your business and not a crime." How could a dream, a vision about the perfect place, gone so bad? Her island was a strictly no people place. Another reason why she liked it there so much.

"Your skin might think different about that."

Sara looked down. "Shit." She was red. Deep red. Like the lobster, she had seen around her island.

"Three hours?"

"Yes. Come on, little redskin, you need to get out of the sun or somebody will mistaken you for a huge steak and put you on the barbeque."

"Why are you here? How did you find me? Venice is big."

"I looked for a bright red spot, that's you. Get up, Sara, you can bitch around later. Now you need to get out of the sun. I'll get you back to the motel."

"I can take the bus."

"Yes and as soon as somebody or something touches you, you'll scream."

"BS."

Sofia touched carefully Sara's arm, who jumped back because of the pain. Her skin burnt like fire.

"Ouch, check yourself for fever!"

"Sara, if you go into the water, there'd be a huge cloud of smoke. Come on, you know it's faster with the car."

"I can take care of myself."

"Of course you can. And if you don't take care of yourself in a way that makes sure, you're in my car within the next two minutes, I'll grab your arm and pull you. It will be painful, you know that."

"Police brutality." Sara needed all her willpower not to scream when she sat on the passenger seat and the door hit her slightly. Every touch was pain and deep inside she knew, this was only the beginning.

Taking the car back to Silver Lake was easier and faster than a bus. Sara had no idea when the next bus was due, she had no idea which was the closed stop to her motel, if she had to change buses, so having Sofia taking her made things easier. But that weren't reasons to tell the blonde so.

"Thanks." She opened the door when Sofia stopped in front of the motel.

"Sara…"

"No time, I need a shower…ice cold!" Sara ran the her room and vanished immediately.

Sofia watched her and shook her head. She wasn't willing to let Sara just vanish, but for now, she had something else in her mind than following her old colleague.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hi, I need the key to room seventeen." Sofia said after she entered the reception. The woman, who sat there and read a book, looked up.

"You don't look like Miss Sidle."

"So she's well known here? Good to know. I don't look like her because I'm not her."

"That means, you won't get a key. She checked in alone, you don't share the room with her."

Sofia put her badge on the table. "This means, I'll get any key I want."

Unwilling the woman gave her the key.

"Thank you." Sofia didn't receive an answer, what she ignored with a smile.

She went to the room, tried to open the door, but couldn't get the handle down. The key fit, that was no question, but she couldn't open the door. It was like somebody held the handle up from the other side. Or something.

"Sara, get whatever you've got under the handle take it away."

"Got a warrant?"

Sofia shook her head. Sara had to be kidding her. "You've got a very strange way to show some gratitude, Sara Sidle."

"I didn't ask you to do anything for me. The only thing I wanted was to be left alone."

"Won't happen and if you insist on it, I'll get a warrant. And give you another ride to the department."

"You've got no legal rights for that."

"I'm a lieutenant, I have a lot of legal rights. Your choice, you open the door or I'll get a warrant and some colleagues. And don't start with police harassment." Sofia stepped back a bit. After a few seconds she heard something got removed behind the door and the door popped open.

"What do you want?" Sara was in the room, out of Sofia's eyes.

"Actually, I want only the best for you. It's unbelievable, I know, but it's true. May I come in?"

"Whatever. I've no choice."

"I'm glad you're happy to let me in." Sofia went into the room and stopped shocked when she saw Sara. Had she been teasing her when she called her lobster, she didn't feel like teasing anymore. Sara stood in her room, wearing nothing but her underwear and her whole body was red. Only her eyes, the place where her shades had been, was white. Sofia knew it was painful, it wasn't funny, but she couldn't help and had to think of the Beagle Boys.

"Shit."

"Thanks. I'll get some lotion as soon as I can wear clothes."

"Sit down."

"Why?"

"Just…do it." Sofia put a plastic bag on the table and pulled a tube of lotion out. "After you left my car so fast, I drove to a drugstore to get some lotion. It says, it's for slightly burnt skin, I'm not sure if your skin isn't more than slightly burnt. You look more crispy. How did you manage to get burnt on both sides?"

"In my dream I was swimming."

"Okay." Sofia took the tube without any more questions.

"Don't you dare to touch me!"

"Sara, you can use the lotion yourself, but you can't reach your back. I want to help you. And you can be happy if I do nothing else than use the lotion. You look like you could use a doctor, but I'll save us both the time and the fight about that."

"Don't baby me."

"Don't bitch around. Here, use it. I'll start with your shoulders. If it hurts too much, let me know. I'll try to be as careful as possible." She let some lotion drop on Sara's shoulder, who flinched immediately. Sofia hoped, it was the shock of cold lotion on the hot red skin and not pain. Very carefully, like she touched something very fragile, she started to apply the lotion, ready to stop as soon as Sara said a word. She could see the pain, she could see how Sara tensed more and more, but Sofia didn't know of any other way to help her.

It took them five minutes to cover Sara in lotion.

"I doubt you can lay down like this…can you sit?"

"I haven't tried it yet."

Sofia put a towel on the chair and Sara sat carefully down. She didn't dare to use the backrest.

"I can get you some more lotion, something for more serious burns."

"I've no idea how that could happen."

"Your island must have been very hot." Sofia smiled a bit.

"It was. Too hot apparently. Thanks Sofia."

"You're welcome. By the way, is the woman at reception a fan of you?"

"Why?"

"She wasn't happy when she had to handle me your keys. I needed my badge to make her give them to me."

"I like that woman, first she gives me dry towels, coffee and a Snickers, then she finished my laundry while I was shopping and left it nicely folded in front of my room and now she tries to give me my peace and called me to warn me about the police. I think, it's a waste of talent, that she sits there. Every boss, who likes to have some quiet time, would love her work."

"Yeah, a nightmare for the police. Why don't you tell her, I don't want to harm you."

"Why lie to her?" Sara grinned.

"Did I do anything to harm you?"

"You mean beside the obvious things? And ignoring my wish to be alone? No. You just do all the time the opposite of what I want you to do."

"That's because you say the opposite of what you mean. Somehow your brain thinks 'yes' but on the way to and out of your mouth, your words change to 'no'. I've no idea why it's like that." Sofia grinned widely.

"Funny, Curtis."

"Lieutenant Curtis for you. And if you lie to me one more time when I interview you, I'll send you to prison."

"Any evidence, lieutenant?"

"I know you well enough to know when you don't tell me the whole truth."

"The truth and nothing but the truth so help me God."

"You think that's funny?"

"No, it's hard to have some fun when you're around."

"I should slap you for that…no wait, with this skin, all I have to do is touch you and you'll be in agony."

"Your time as a visitor is over, Sofia."

"Yes, it is. I've to go otherwise the drugstore will close. Don't make me get the second pair of keys of your reception friend again, Sara. Open the door when I'm back in a few minutes and it will be a lot easier for both of us."

"Get lost!"

* * *

Sofia was satisfied to find the door to Sara's room unlocked when she came back. The brunette had placed a sheet on her bed and laid on top, still only in her underwear, not moving. To let Sara know that she was back, she knocked on the door. Instead of a slowly rising head or a grumpy comment, Sara almost jumped off the bed and looked, like somebody had scared her to death.

"Sorry, I didn't want to…are you alright?" Sofia wasn't sure if she should step back to go to Sara, who slowly relaxed after she realized, it was Sofia, who was there.

"Yeah…I was just…I must have fallen asleep."

Sofia wasn't sure if that was the truth, but she didn't want to start a fight and nodded slowly. She was in no position to accuse Sara of lying.

"The man in the drugstore suggested you should see a doctor after I described him your burns. Because I know, you won't do that, I could convince him to give me the best lotion, he can give me without a real prescription."

"A real prescription?"

"For some people my smile is a kind of prescription. I know, it wouldn't help me if you're the druggist, but lucky for me and you, you're the patient and I got some lotion with my smile and charm."

"I should tell you off for that but if these lotions help my skin not to burn anymore, I think I'll be only thankful and that's it."

"He said, this one is the best he can give me." Sofia put a red tube on the table. "Cools the skin, takes away the pain. I've some pain killers too, just in case you want them."

"I might take one later."

"Good. Shall I help you with the lotion or do you want to do that alone?"

"Like you mentioned before, you reach my back better than I do."

"A little bit. I promise, I try not to push too hard."

"I'm afraid, every little touch means pain. But it's my fault, I did that to myself, I've to live through it."

"And I try to help you." Sofia took some lotion. Carefully she applied it on Sara's back, stopping every time when the brunette flinched. Soon the skin would start to peel, another painful state on the way to new skin. Why did Sara have to harm her largest organ?

"Can you promise me one thing?" Sofia asked when she was done with the back, the shoulders and the neck.

"What?"

"Stay out of the sun for the next couple of days."

"I'd like to but I can't."

"Why? If you want to see Venice beach, go there another time or stay a week longer." How could Sara be so insensible? Her skin burnt already like hell, any more sunshine would make it worse and increase the pain.

"I've be at the police department tomorrow at noon. The time, when the sunshine is stronger than at any other time of the day. I don't have a car, I've to walk to the bus stop, wait there, wait for the next bus and walk again."

"For crying out loud, I'll tell the receptionist, you'll come in later…or earlier. I can take you with me when I start at half seven and you'll be back here by eight."

"What a service."

"Awful, isn't it? I'm a really bad person, try to help you. Really annoying. That's the reason why you shouldn't meet old colleagues anymore."

"Sorry. I'd blame my…behavior on the sunburn, the problem is, you won't believe that."

"No, not really. Sara, not every person wants to harm you. It's hard to believe in this world, but some people actually don't have only bad thoughts and want to help you."

"Even police officers?"

"Maybe not when they drag you out of bed, but when they drive you back home, buy you some salad and coke, they only want to help you." Sofia smiled a bit.

"Sounds like that. You think, I should let her in my room without giving her a hard time?"

"Would be a nice way to show her that you not hate her."

"I don't hate her, she's just annoying. Sometimes."

"In that case she's like you."

"Thanks. I deserved that."

"Yes. Do you have food here?"

"A package with mixed salad, some bread and a family package of Snickers. Did you know that one Snickers can be a lunch?"

"Yes, I knew that, I went to college. We can't go out and get something to eat, you don't look like you can dress in anything else than underwear and despite I'm sure a lot of people appreciate the look of you in underwear, restaurants usually have a dress code. What do you think of some food, that get delivered? Chinese? For example."

"I don't mean it bad or want to offend you in any way, but don't you have better things to do?"

"I work day time, usually not more than nine hours, what is really nice. There are some things I could do instead of having dinner with you, maybe I want to make up for the shock my colleagues gave you, maybe I feel sorry for you, maybe I enjoy your company, maybe I'd like to know what you did the last two years. Or it's something else, who knows. But you're always free to say, you don't want me here. Maybe I accept it this time."

"Yeah sure. We both saw how good that works out." Sara took her cell phone. "You have a number?"

"Are you asking for my number, Sara? Or for a number of a delivery service?"

"What am I supposed to do with your number? Do you deliver food?"

"I delivered food with you to here, yes. Today I'm more a medicine deliver girl. Oh no wait, I delivered a lobster too."

"Funny."

"555 535 353. It's a good Chinese restaurant. They're around the corner, don't deliver, but you can order and pick up the order. I might get myself down and pick our food up. Depends on how you behave. Do you need a menu?"

"Two spring rolls, what about you?"

"Number thirteen. Fried rice with duck and vegetables. And number forty seven in large please. Fortunate cookies."

"You believe in them?"

"No, but they're fun and taste good."

"I'll order it."

"Alright. I get my own key of your room back to your friend at reception. Maybe she'll be nicer to me when I tell her, I brought you lotion for your skin and will have dinner with you."

"Thought you went there already."

"No, I wanted to make sure I was on time for the drugstore. Be a good housewife, order some dinner for a hard working lieutenant." Sofia grinned and left the room before Sara could response. Somehow it started to feel like Sara had been here all the time and not like they had been out of touch the last year and a half. With the difference, they met after work now. Well, Sara had no other choice, Sofia just came along, but it looked like, the brunette could use some help. And somehow Sofia felt responsible for her.

"Hey, I want to get you the keys back. Misses Sidle appreciated my visit."

"Did she?"

"In her own way, yes. There is no need that you protect her of me, we used to work together in Las Vegas, I'm not just a cop, who checks on her. We're old colleagues."

"Nice way to treat your colleague you guys in Vegas have. Dragging them out of bed."

"I didn't know she was here, it was a police investigation, she didn't get hurt."

"You can't always see all injuries on the outside. Here." The woman put a bag on the front desk. "Give that to her, please."

"What's that?"

"You want to check it, lieutenant?"

"You are just as cheeky as she is. You're both very lucky that I'm such a patient and friendly cop."

"Anything else I can do for you?" The woman smiled.

"No, I come back to you in case there is something." Sofia took the bag and went back to Sara's room.

"Looks like I'm a delivery girl again. Your friend at reception sends this." Sofia threw the bag to Sara. It was light, there couldn't be much inside. "I hope it's not another bag with drugs."

"If it is, you were a mule, you have to arrest yourself." Sara opened the bag. The bag was nothing more than a folded isolation mat, you had in cars for victims of accidents. Something to cover a person in, who got pulled out of a burning car.

"She knows about your burns?" Sofia wondered.

"Yes, she gave me some lotion earlier. Unfortunately they don't have anything suitable for my burns, only for some sunburn, little sunburn, like on a part of your shoulder or your face. This looks like the perfect place for me to sleep on. The sheets are very hot and painful."

"There's still the option of a doctor, Sara."

"No."

"The offer is there, take it whenever you need it. What did they say about food?"

"We can get it in ten minutes."

"Alright, I'll walk down and get it. Again, your outfit doesn't fit the expected dress code on the streets here. Shall I bring anything else? Ice cream?"

"Sounds cold and cold is good."

"I'll get your some…juice too. And water."

"Thanks."

"No problem." Sofia turned to leave.

"Sofia?"

"Yeah?" She stopped.

"I really mean it. Thank you."

"That's alright, Sara. Use your new mat, get some rest and I'll be back soon. And I don't ask if the door will be open, I expect it. I've the food."

"Food opens a lot of doors."

"It opened yours." Sofia grinned and left.


	7. Chapter 7

**Part 4**

"You're early!" Sara complained when she opened her door for Sofia. The blonde had told her, she'd be there at quarter past seven, now she was here at seven.

"Yes. Nice skirt." Sofia looked at Sara, who wore a brown loose skirt and a beige very thin and wide linen shirt. She looked like she was ready for a day at the beach.

"It was the piece of clothes, that touches my body less. Same with the shirt."

"You look good in it. How is your skin?"

"Burning. Painful. It started to peel."

"Did you use the lotion?"

"A few times during the night, didn't really help. I barely slept."

"Understandable. If you take off the shirt, I can apply some lotion on your back."

"Thanks."

"Serve and protect. I do my job. Well, when I tried to protect you, it was a little bit too late."

"Let's say, you protected me from ending up in hospital." Sara bit on her teeth. It was painful when Sofia's hand touched her burnt skin.

"Which is good because you hate hospitals even more than you hate me."

"I don't hate you, Sofia."

"That's what I wanted to hear. Back's done. Put on your shirt. Did you have breakfast?"

"We don't have time for breakfast."

"No, WE don't, you do."

"I need to go to the department…"

"Honey, I'll let them know, I saw you this morning and that will be alright."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. You need to report once a day to the police. I am the police. I saw you, that should be enough. If not, I'll come back here, get you there and back here."

"Sure?"

"Yes. Stay inside, drink a lot of water and get your reception friend to apply some lotion on your back every two to three hours. Your back needs all the lotion it can get."

"I'm not sure if her job description includes that. Don't you have a sexy colleague, who can do that?"

"The sexiest one just helped you." Sofia grinned.

"Smug."

"Honest. How does your schedule looks for dinner?"

"Don't you have friends here?" Sara smiled enough to make it clear to Sofia, that she was teasing her.

"I do have friends here, what about you?"

"I've a lieutenant, who takes really good care of me."

"That means, you'll have time for this lieutenant. Try to be dressed, I'll be here around half five. If anything urgent comes up and I can't make it, I'll give you a call."

"I never open the door naked."

"I mean like now, not in underwear. You look great in underwear, but this is the wrong country for underwear out of the room."

"Who said I'll leave my room?"

"I won't argue with you now, there's no time for that. I've to tell the receptionist, you're still in L.A. and see you – dressed – later. Have a good day and stay out of the sun."

"There isn't much sunshine in my room."

"Yeah, I know. Ain't no sunshine when I'm gone…" Sofia started to sing and left.

Sara shook her head. This woman was crazy. Unfortunately she had to admit, this woman was a really big help and did a lot to make her life better and easier. At the moment, she had no other choice than to like Sofia. Something new.

* * *

Being forced to stay the whole day in her room, Sara felt like a child, who was grounded. She sat on her bed, changed to the couch, back to the bed, a chair and walked in little circles. For so many weeks, she had been outside, had been able to move a lot around, now she was trapped.

Did people know how awful the American day time television program was? Did anybody actually watch these shows? Did they use their brain when other people talked about their private life? She knew now more about the sex life of half a dozen people than she knew of her own sex life; not that she had one at the moment. But please, what drove people to go to a TV show and tell the whole country – or the brainless part of it, that was watching the show – how their sex life was? Did they think, they'd get any kind of solution for problem, they had to solve with their partner? Or – if anybody had to be involved – with a therapist.

Bored and with the appetite for a chocolate bar, she left her room and went to reception. The woman, who was there most times, was there again and still reading.

"What do you read, if I'm allowed to ask."

"It's called 'Who am I? And if so, how many?'. It's about philosophy, quite funny. I'm sure, I'm at least three."

"Why three?" Sara wondered if a book about philosophy could be funny. Wasn't philosophy a topic, that was more boring and dry than funny?

"Because there's a part inside me, that knows all the good things, wants me to do them. Then there's a part of me, that doesn't care about what's good, but wants me to have fun. And then there's the referee, the poor part, that has to work out a way to make these two sides happy. I can tell you, that's a bad job." She laughed.

"Sounds like. Do you have a shop here? I think, I need to eat chocolate – at least my fun part tells me."

"What does your sensible part say?" The woman chuckled.

"Eat dark chocolate, that's healthy."

"Is that your order too?"

"Yes."

"I don't have a bar of dark chocolate, but I can offer you a muffin made with dark chocolate. My boss baked them this morning and sells some of her muffins. We've got dark chocolate, milk chocolate, strawberry with vanilla and chocolate cherry."

"I'm bad at making decision, so I take all four." Sara smiled. That meant, she had just ordered her lunch as well. Four muffins, not very healthy, but she felt like, she deserved some treats after her whole body was a temple of pain.

"A good decision. Anything else?"

"No, thanks. I've got coffee…oh, do you have a newspaper?"

"Yes."

"I take one too. That will keep me busy for two hours. Is there anything to do around here? Anything I don't have to go into the sun for?"

"You can take a bus to a museum or an art gallery, everything else is outside and not good for your skin. You can get a DVD player if you want."

"Only if I get some DVDs with it. I don't have any with me. The TV program is horrible."

"I know, that's why I switched to reading. We've got a little library over there." The woman pointed to a book shelf, that was half filled with books. "Those are books people left behind or my boss didn't want to have anymore. Usually it works like an exchange, you leave one here and take one with you. But you can also just borrow one in case you feel too overwhelmed by the various intelligent TV shows."

"I'll have a look, thanks."

"And I'll get you the muffins, the DVD player and…what kind of DVD would you like to watch?"

"Old movies."

"Alright, I'll have a look and be back soon."

"Thanks." Sara walked to the book shelf. The looked like her day in the motel could be interesting. She found a crime book about serial killer, written by a famous profiler of the FBI and took it together with all the other stuff to her room. She was afraid, her bill increased today. But she had no other choice than making her day as good as possible in her room. She was grounded. By the sun.

* * *

Sofia was on time and found Sara on the balcony in the shadow with a book.

"Hey Larry Lobster, how are you?" The blonde sat next to the other woman, studied first her skin and then the book. "Serial killers? Do you miss your old job?"

"No, this isn't about evidence, it's about why people turn into serial killer. If there's a kind of killer gene or if it's the fault of wrong parenting, computer games or wrong friends. And why some people can't stop killing."

"Why stop something you enjoy and you get away with?"

"But why do you enjoy it?"

"Because power is very nice. And if I've got the gun, I've got the power to make the decision, if I want you alive or dead. You're nothing, I'm God."

"You don't think people are plain evil?"

"I'm not sure. I arrested a lot of people, some were stupid, some cruel, I'm not sure if I'd call one plain evil. There are…" The loud explosion of a gun stopped Sofia, made her jump on her feet. Somebody was shooting and this person wasn't too far away. She looked around, couldn't see anybody with a gun.

"Call 911. I'll be right back, stay here!" She jumped down the stairs. Another shot. It came from down the street. Nobody seemed to be on the streets. Wasn't this the same street, she had taken only a few moments ago? There had been cars and people around, where were they now?

A single gray car drove around the corner of the next cross way. Did this car have anything to do with the shooting? And if yes, where was the person or the people, who got shot at? There was a shop across the street, why wasn't anybody out? Was the shooter in the shop? Did she have a hostage situation?

Something brown let her stop. What was that? Under the bush…a leg! With her gun in her hands, she jogged closer to the leg. Soon she saw more, there was a second leg and the rest of the body. A body covered in blood. She saw at least two bullet holes in the chest.

"Get an ambulance!" She yelled at nobody. Why was nobody around to help? She got down next to the – what she saw now – young man, tried to get a pulse. Nothing.

"Keep your time." She mumbled to nobody. Form a distance she heard the first police cars. Her gun still in her hands, she stood beside the body. When she saw the police car, she put away her gun and lifted her badge to show her colleagues, she was a police officer.

"Lieutenant Curtis, I was first on scene. We've got a dead body, male, early twenty. At least two GSW to the chest."

"Did you see who shot him?" The middle aged female officer, who stepped out of the car first, asked.

"No. There was nobody on the street. The only thing I saw was a gray car, that drove west. I've no idea if this car had anything to do with the body."

"No witnesses?"

"No. It seems like they were all late." She pointed with her chin towards the first people, who started to get out of their hide-outs. Where had they been before? It seemed like those people were attracted by the yellow crime scene tape.

"We'll talk to them anyway. Can you give me a description of the gray car?"

"A Sedan, looked older. I can't give you anything of the plate or the driver. I came here and at the same moment, the car vanished down there. Maybe it had nothing to do with the shooting. There were three shots, two first, one a few seconds later. I was at the motel up the street and came down here ASAP. The strange thing is, I drove this street a moment ago, there were a lot cars, after the shooting everybody and everything was gone."

"And nobody saw or heard anything."

"Probably. This isn't a usual area for shootings."

"You're department Hollywood?"

"Yeah. Homicide."

"Sorry Miss, this is a crime scene, you can't cross it. Please stand clear."

Sofia turned when she heard the words. Somehow she knew, who was trying to pass the crime scene tape.

"You're not a CSI anymore, Sara."

"CSI is on it's way." The officer informed Sofia. "Ma'am you need to step back." She said to Sara.

"She used to be a CSI."

"Never saw her at a scene."

"Las Vegas. Sara, I need a statement of you. Or the colleagues need one, this isn't my scene, I'm a witness too."

"I haven't seen anything. There were these two shots, you left, I called 911, while I was on the phone was a third shot and that's it. Were the shots closed range?"

"You're not a CSI anymore, Sara." Sofia repeated with a little smile.

"Alright, so I tell you as a concerned citizen of the United States, there're tire marks, your officer might want to extend the crime scene. The whole street plus the sidewalk over there. As a former acting supervisor of the CSI dayshift you know, cartridges like to fly a little bit further away."

"Did I mention, she was a damn smart CSI? Can you do me a favor, Sara?"

"Maybe."

"Go back to the motel. I'll be with you soon. You are still a good CSI but I don't want you in the sun."

"What about my statement?"

"I'll take it later and send it to the colleagues if that's alright with whoever is in charge here."

"Alright."

"But thanks. We might take you as a CSI."

"You can't pay me, lieutenant." Sara smirked and started to walk back to her motel. This didn't seem to be a good place for her. First she got pulled out of the bed by the police and a few days later, there was a shooting in front of her motel. Okay, she knew areas of Las Vegas, where they had more than that in one day, but she wasn't used to things like this. She had been a CSI, somebody, who arrived at the crime scene after the crime had happened. There wasn't a perpetrator around when she arrived. At least there shouldn't be, that was why the police was there first.


	8. Chapter 8

It took Sofia almost an hour until she was back at the motel. So much for knocking off on time. She went up the steps, Sara's door was ajar. She knocked and entered. Again, Sara was visible surprised and almost jumped off her bed.

"Back home. I'm happy to see, you're in your room, out of the sun."

"Not because you told me so."

"Because your skin told you so."

"Yes."

"Take off your shirt, I'll take care of your back."

"You sound like a nurse."

"Don't tease me, Sara. You can't reach your back yourself."

"Maybe I found somebody else."

"I'm sure there are a few people, who'd like to have a closer look at your back. Unfortunately it's me who's here. Where's the lotion?"

"There's only one left, the one, you needed all your charm for, is empty."

"Okay, we'll stop at the drugstore."

"On our way to where?" Sara didn't knew she'd leave her motel room. Wasn't she supposed to stay inside? And now Sofia wanted to take her to the drugstore. Was that a trick to get her some medical attention?

"Dinner."

"What's wrong with the delivery service?"

"I feel like steak, you don't get them delivered. Not a good one."

"You know I'm a vegetarian."

"Yeah, we'll make some salad for you."

"We make salad?"

"Yes, or can't you cook, Sara?"

"You don't cook salad."

"You know what I mean."

"So far it looks like I've survived without a personal chef by my side. And there weren't any diners or fast food restaurants in the jungle."

"Done." Sofia taped carefully on Sara's back. "Your skin peels a lot."

"I know. I'm glad I had my hat on my face otherwise I had to stay in a very dark room for a few weeks. The red color is almost gone."

"You're not an Beagle Boy anymore, it looked funny when I saw it first, I know it's painful so I'm glad it's gone. You only have to stay out of the sun."

"Yeah, only." Not the easiest thing to do when you were in Los Angeles. Sara put on her shirt again. "Do you know anything about the body? The shooter?"

"No and even if, I can't tell you."

"Spoilsport."

"Lieutenant Spoilsport for you." Sofia waited for Sara to lock her door and walked down to her car.

"Tell me again how you made me come with you? I mean, we are on our way to your apartment, when did I agree on that?" Sara asked after Sofia started the car and left the car park.

"When you didn't tell me to stay away and agreed on having dinner with me. It's a perfect evening for a barbeque and I prefer to have a barbeque in my garden than in front of your motel. And if you start to annoy me, I can kick you out, that's something different, usually you kick me out. I wanted to turn tables on you."

"Understand." Sara smiled. "Where do you live?"

"Around two miles from your motel away, the other side of the reservoir, up the mountain. I can see the Hollywood sign and the reservoir."

"Wow, that sounds good."

"It is."

"And not too far away from your work place."

"Close but far away enough to get work out of my head. Some of my colleagues live right next to the department, that's a horrible thought for me. Every time you look out of your window, you see your work place, you have never a real knock off time."

"Now you see water and one of the most famous signs of the world."

"Yes. Sometimes you have to treat yourself. Have you been to Hollywood?"

"When? After the warm welcome of LAPD I didn't feel like sightseeing, yesterday I went to the beach and today I spent my time in my room, watched four DVDs, started a book, ate a lot of sweets and ear witnessed a shooting, I wasn't allowed to investigate closer."

"Sounds boring, like you are not different from every other tourist." Sofia smirked.

"Yeah, welcome to L.A., let us introduce you to our cells, after the men in black gave you the shock of your life and treated you, like you had planned to blow off Hollywood. What a lovely city, I can't wait to come back to here. Just after I've visited all countries, we accuse of being home of terrorists."

"Still sarcastic." Sofia stopped her car in front of a two story house. "Home sweet home."

"Looks nice." Sara noticed that the house was too big for only one person, but too small to be a complex with several families. It looked more like it was privately owned, there was only one letter box, two garages and a basketball basket was over the left garage.

On the way to the front door she counted half a dozen different kind of roses in front of the house and a bed of orchids. It looked like somebody had a very green thumb. Sofia must have an elderly couple as landlords, who put a lot effort into their plants and flowers.

"Come in, feel like home." Sofia opened the door, took a few letters that laid on the floor and put them on a shelf.

"Thanks." There was a staircase left to the front door, that got up to the second story. Sara couldn't see a door, that separated the first from the second story. This looked like an ordinary family house, built for one family and not two.

"You can go through the door over there, through the living room. Make sure you stay inside, I need to introduce you first to somebody. I'll be back in a minute."

"Okay." While Sofia vanished upstairs, Sara went into the living room. A huge room, white stone floor, a huge white couch with a little black table in front of it. TV and sound system on one wall, three well filled book shelves next to it on the other wall, behind the couch. A dinning table for eight people and a door to another room to her left while the garden was on the right. She had never been to Sofia's apartment in Las Vegas, but she doubted, it had been this big.

"Do you rent the whole house?" She asked the blonde.

"No." Sofia had changed into shorts and t-shirt and flip-flops.

"So you live upstairs and whose living room is this?"

"Mine."

"Huh?"

"It's my house."

"You own the house? The whole house?"

"Yes. Me and the bank."

"Why do you own a house?"

"Because it's a nice house and I want some space, a garden and this was perfect. I can go jogging around the reservoir, it's a quiet area, the highway isn't too far away, I live at the end of a dead road, no traffic. I can't see anything wrong with it."

"There is nothing wrong…what do you earn as a lieutenant in L.A.? Do they pay you Hollywood money?"

"No. That's why a huge part of the house is owned by the bank. I'll need some time until it's mine and I don't have to pay for it anymore."

"I think so."

"You need to pay some money for a good barbeque area." Sofia opened the door. Before she could step out, there were two dogs by her side. "Hey Scooby, hello Rantanplan. How are you guys?" Somehow Sofia managed to get both dogs in her arms. Both were medium to large size, brownish and it was impossible for Sara to find our, which breeds were involved and which weren't.

"Say hello to Sara, she looks like a lobster, but she's actually human. Be nice to her, alright?" Sofia got up and the dogs shifted their attention to Sara.

"You are not scared of dogs, are you?"

"No, of course not." She had spent a lot of time with Hank, Grissom's dog.

"Good. Come out, they'll be nice. You can leave the door open." Sofia walked to a little barbeque area with a barbeque, three benches, a table and a big sunshade, she opened.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Yes. Anything."

"I'll have a look if I've got 'Anything' in the fridge. Can you start the barbeque? As a woman, who lived for weeks in the jungle, you should be fine with wood charcoal. I'll get some food out too."

"Okay."

"There's a lighter next to the wood charcoal."

"Perfect." Sara took the wood charcoal, found some charcoal lighter and managed to get the barbeque starting without getting burnt. Under the watchful eyes of the dogs she sat down. There were trees around the garden, she couldn't see the neighbors nor could they see her. A huge fence around the garden made sure, the dogs stayed here and didn't vanish.

"Beer, meat, corn cob and some salad." Sofia put a basket on the table. "Meat with bones, of course."

"A little treat for your dogs."

"Yes. They deserve some treats."

"After a day alone."

"The dog sitter was here, they weren't alone the whole day. Don't tell Sara you're living a hard and lonely life, guys."

Sofia cuddled one dog. Sara had forgotten who was Scooby and who Rantanplan. So far she hadn't noticed that one dog was really scared and the other very stupid. Maybe she needed some more time.

"You brought a lot of food. Who's supposed to eat all that?"

"First of all we, when we're full, we can worry about the rest. I know at least two dogs, who won't mind if you give your food away to them."

"Probably not."

"Hey ladies!" Sara turned. She hadn't noticed the man, who came in shorts and shirt barefoot to them. She had no idea who he was, but he looked like he lived here. There was no hesitation in his moves, he behaved like he belonged here.

"Sara, meet Don. Don, that's Sara."

"Hi, how are you? Ouch, you look burnt."

"The sunshine of L.A. won't be my friend."

"No, it doesn't look like that. Sofia told me, she woke you up on Venice."

"Yes."

"Next time, you take a sunshade and you'll be fine."

"If you invite yourself to dinner, Don, it will cost you." Sofia said after Don took a piece of bread.

"How much?"

"You'll be the driver, no beer for you."

"Oh come on, Sofia, that's not fair."

"Life isn't fair. No beer or no barbie?"

"You know I'm starving."

"So?"

"So I'll get down to the shop, get you ladies a six pack and me something else. Why do you need a driver anyway?"

"Because we're too lazy to walk to the motel."

"Why doesn't Sara stay here? It's easier."

"No!" Sara stopped him. "I want my room back. My special mat. And I don't stay at a place of somebody, who destroyed my first day in L.A.."

"Huh?"

"She's a little bit unforgiving. I told you about the drug dealers we got out of the motel, she was one of them. Well, not a drug dealer, but with the group and got the same treatment like the rest. When I found out, she was involved, I did everything to make her stay at the department as nice as possible, even drove her back to the motel, got her some food, but is she grateful? No, she's bitching around. I tell you, women are a nightmare."

"Whenever I mention something like that, I'm in trouble. "

"Beer or barbie, Don?"

"Barbie. I'll be back soon. Why do you start a barbie with only two beers left in the house anyway?"

"Because I thought I've to drive and two beers are enough for Sara. She needs water and not beer."

"Dear, what is the main ingredient of beer?"

"Get lost!" She pushed him away. "Stupid man."

"He has a point." Sara opened the two bottles. "But he doesn't have to drive me, I can walk. When the sun is gone, there's no reason not to walk."

"I saw one this afternoon with two bullets in his chest."

"Silver Lake is a dangerous place?"

"Usually not, no. But as we heard and saw today, even an apparently safe neighborhood can be deadly and at night, it's nowhere safe."

"So you blackmail your boyfriend to play taxi driver."


	9. Chapter 9

"I do what?"

"You blackmailed…"

"I got that part. That Don's my boyfriend is something new, something I didn't know of."

"I though he lives here with you. He behaved like this is his garden too." Did she get everything wrong?

"Partly correct. He lives here with me, yes. It's his garden too, yes. The mistakes lays in the title boyfriend. He isn't my boyfriend, he's my housemate. That's all."

"You live with a very sexy guy together in a house and he's nothing more than your housemate? You really expect me to believe this?"

"Yes. And don't tell him that he's sexy. He's already arrogant enough."

"He must be your brother."

"Why?" Sofia furrowed her brows. Did Don look like her? She couldn't see anything, that suggested they were siblings.

"He's arrogant and if you're really not his girlfriend, that's the only explanation I can come up with."

"What you meant to say was, he's sexy, so he must be my brother because I'm sexy too."

"No, I meant to say what I did say."

Sofia shook her head. "You are unkind again, Sara."

"Honest."

"He isn't my brother nor my boyfriend. He lives here because he pays rent. As you found out earlier, this is my house, it wasn't cheap and I don't earn Hollywood money. So I thought the easiest way to make this mine ASAP is to get more money. By having a house mate, I make some money."

"Did he apply with a photo for his room?"

"No, I knew him before I bought the house. He's a colleague, I asked him when we talked about that he wanted to move out of the old apartment, he shared with his girlfriend, now ex girlfriend. And no, she isn't his ex girlfriend because of me, I had nothing to do with that. I never had any sexual relationship with him. And I will never have one."

"He's gay."

"Why is he now gay?" Sofia was a kind of amazed how fast Sara came up with strange ideas. What did happen to the woman, who wanted to see the evidence first before she started to make conclusions? Did she lose this in the jungle? Had there been no time for evidence?

"He's good looking, he's sexy, you won't have sex with him, sounds like he's gay."

"Didn't I just tell you about his ex girlfriend?"

"Yes, ex because he is into guys."

"Alright, so every sexy, good looking single guy is gay?"

"In this area of the city? Yes. I read the guide book this morning."

"Buy a new one. Would you also think he's gay when he wasn't good looking?"

"No."

"And do you use your view of the world for women too? All sexy, good looking single women are lesbians?"

"No, it's the other way around with women."

"That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard of you."

"I wasn't serious."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"But you have to admit, it's kind of strange that you're sharing a house with him and he's nothing more than a housemate. We weren't friends in Vegas, but I know, you weren't a saint."

"No, I wasn't and I'm not now, which doesn't change anything about Don and me."

"Alright. Is he your only housemate?"

"At the moment yes. We had another man here, he moved out a month ago and so far, we haven't found anybody, we both agree on."

"Why does he have to agree on a new housemate?"

"He lives here too. If he thinks our new housemate is an idiot, I send this person away. I want a friendly house and not a house, that has more fights than the middle east. So it's important that we all get along good."

"Interesting. There are some new sides of you, detective Curtis."

"Like the fact that I'm a lieutenant?"

"Right." Sara smiled. "I forget this all the time. You're one step closer to the captain. Your mother must be proud."

"She'll be as soon as I'm a captain."

"And that will be when?"

"Give me another three to five years." Maybe that was a little bit too optimistic. Or it was a challenge.

"A captain in Los Angeles."

"I won't sell my house, Sara. I like it."

"It's nice, yes. Do I get a tour later?"

"Maybe. You need to make up for some stupid things you've said earlier."

"Do I?"

"Yes. Or I let you walk."

"No problem for me."

"If you start to annoy me I'll put my hand on your skin; after I held it close to the barbeque. I'm sure your skin will appreciate the heat." Sofia threatened.

"Then I need to ask Don if he can come with me, apply some lotion on my body…sounds like a good plan."

"Are you hitting on my housemate?"

"No and even if I do, you shouldn't be jealous, you don't plan to have a relationship with him."

Sofia was tempted to ask what happened to Grissom, but she knew, if she said this, the evening was over. It was obvious, Sara and Grissom weren't a couple anymore, she didn't mention him, she had spent a few weeks in the jungle, didn't say anything about going back to Las Vegas. Their relationship had to be over and Sofia was sure, this wasn't the right time and place to talk about that. Probably she wasn't the right person to ask and not the one, Sara wanted to talk about her private life with.

"I'll keep an eye on you and him"

"You have an eye on whom?" Don came back with some beer.

"You and Sara."

"Why?"

"She thinks you're sexy and good looking."

"She's right." He grinned widely. "I'm glad you brought such an intelligent and charming woman home. Finally somebody with style and a good eye. We should meet tomorrow without Sofia. She always spoils the fun."

"She also thinks you're gay." Sofia added and didn't hide the fact, that she was very amused about that.

"What? Why? All the credit I gave you, is gone with this, Sara."

"Sorry. I thought, you're her boyfriend and Sofia said, the two of you never had, never will have a relationship."

"So I've to be gay?"

"Good looking and sexy, that doesn't sound the kind of guy she'd live with. Live with like with a housemate."

"So it's her fault you thought I'm gay? In that case I'll forgive you. And give you a new chance for a date. I prefer brunettes by the way. Blondes are too often a fake."

"Like the one you live with."

"I think, you can use past tense. He isn't popular anymore." Sofia's eyes were very narrow and not happy.

"Mad, Honey?"

"What's wrong with women, who dye their hair blond?"

"Nothing." He smiled.

"Really?"

"Are you saying you're a faked blonde, Sofia?" Sara asked sweet. Of course she knew Sofia wasn't a real blonde, so far her former colleague had never admitted that she dyed her hair.

"If you're on his side, Sidle, you can leave with him. Take him with you, your bed is big enough for the two of you."

"She took me here because she wants to kick me out of her house. That's what she told me on our way to here. Looks like she's sick and tired of me before I got something to eat. Oh well, I'll find some take away food on my way back. It was nice to meet you, Don. I'm sorry for you to live with her, maybe you'll find a better place soon." Sara stood up.

"Sit down, Sara." Sofia ordered.

"No, you kicked me out. I leave before you call your men in black and I get dragged out." Sara made a few steps towards the house.

"Scooby, Rantanplan, get her back!"

Immediately the dogs stood in front of Sara, showing her their teeth and forced her to take a step back.

"Are you serious, Sofia?"

"They are." Sofia got up, walked to Sara, got between her and the dogs. "Your corn looks like you can eat it now." Carefully she touched Sara's hand. "And the beer gets warm if you let it wait longer."

"What she means is, she doesn't want you to leave, she's sorry and telling the dogs to stop you, was a very stupid idea." Don made his own translation for Sara. "Plus I would like it when you stay."

"Did you say that, Sofia?" Sara asked, her eyes focused on Sofia's.

"Something wrong with your ears that you didn't hear that?" The blonde smiled a bit. "I thought I said that loud and clear."

"Maybe it's your accent." Sara smirked and went back to the bench, she had sat on.

"I used the Californian way of telling you to stay."

"Next time, use the Vegas version."

"There won't be a next time."

"Even better."

"I think, this could be a very interesting evening." Don leant back, took a sp of his non alcoholic beer and made a grimace. Non alcoholic beer didn't taste like beer, it tasted like…he wasn't sure what it was, but it wasn't good.

* * *

"So, that was Sara." Don sat next to Sofia on the edge of her bed. Both were ready to go to bed after they had taken Sara back to the motel.

"Yes."

"Your relationship is…special."

"Complicated."

"How was it in Las Vegas?"

"First a disaster, then it got better. I think she was jealous because she thought, I was hitting on her boyfriend. Or the man, she wanted to be her boyfriend."

"Did you?"

"No. Our boss sent me to built a case against him, so that our boss could demote him as a supervisor. I didn't do that, that was the reason I got demoted from acting supervisor to an ordinary CSI. Grissom and I went for dinner when I was about to quit my job, he made me stay. I guess, Sara didn't like that, like she didn't like that Grissom and me were friends.

When I returned to Vegas as a detective, she was a little bitchy at the beginning, for example she let me wait for hours in front of a telephone booth with evidence. Of course she claimed she didn't get my message earlier. Later it got better, Nick and me found her when she was kidnapped by a serial killer, who wanted hurt Grissom with her death.

Around that time I found out, there was no way I could become a lieutenant in Las Vegas any time soon. I heard rumors that the Sheriff wanted to get me back as a CSI, so I left quite fast and came to Los Angeles. I didn't talk to Sara after we found her in the desert."

"Until this week."

"Until I read the names of the suspects in the drug case and her name popped up. First I thought there was a person with her name, but not the Sara Sidle I know, when I checked, I was surprised that it was really her."

"A reunion."

"Not the best one."

"She wasn't happy the way the police treated her."

"No, she made that obvious. I tried everything I could to get her out of interrogation ASAP, she wasn't impressed, she was as bitchy as in the first weeks we worked together."

"But somehow she allows you to help her, which is your way to compensate what exactly?"

"What makes you think I compensate anything?" She looked suspicious at him. She had no reason to compensate anything.

"You took her home, you looked for her when she was in Venice, you got her lotion, took her here. There is a reason why you do that after you weren't friends in Vegas."

"And the reason is?"

"That's what I ask you."

"I'm sorry she had to go through all these things on Monday, it wasn't her fault, she didn't know anything of the drugs. It's hard to find out that people, you trust, used you. If anybody had found the drugs in her suitcase, her life would be over now. Why I take that personal? I've no idea. We weren't friends, but if I let her alone, let her work her problems out alone, I'd feel like I'm not the nicest person. Friends or no friends, we worked together, we fought together against bad guys, we relied on each other, I can't leave her alone.

Plus…I don't know how to explain this, it's strange and I can't make anything out of it. She's…she triggers something in me that wants to protect her. Somehow she reminds me of a wounded fawn, whose mother died and has to face a dozen wolves. I feel like I'm the one, who has to stand between her and these wolves and make sure, she'll be fine. How crazy does this sound to you?"

"It's an interesting example, but if it makes you feel better, I think it's the cop inside you. She has something victims have. I got that too. Might be because of what happened to her three days ago. It would be a shock for me too if a few men in black with guns wake me up."

"Yeah. You think I don't overact?"

"I think it's good what you do. She needs a friend and even if the two of you aren't what you call friends, as much as I observed this evening, there are some points, you both agree on and you can have fun together."

"Yes, I think I know now how to handle her. She can still be a bitch, the secret is to ignore that and talk back."

"Will you take her here again?"

"Do you want to see her here again?" She turned tables.

"Yes. I like her. She can be bitchy, that's right, but she has a kind heart. She's fun to be with."

"In that case I'll take her here again."

"You'll see her tomorrow?"

"Yes. She needs somebody who helps her with her back."

"I can do that, I don't mind to see a beautiful woman naked. Even when she's red."

"I'm not sure if she wants…no wait, she wanted to ask you for some help in case I don't want to help her, she'll be fine with you."

"When should I be there?" He grinned.

"I'll let you know. I need to see her anyway, actually she has to go to the department once a day until Sunday. Today I saw her in the morning and told her, to stay in the motel."

"That's better for her skin."

"Yes."

"You're a good nurse." He smiled. "Would you do the same for me?"

"Yes."

"Right away?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"You're a sexy blonde, I'm a sexy guy, what do you think I've in mind? We're in your bedroom, both on your bed, do you need more hints?"

"Shall I kick you? With my sharp boots right in your male brain?"

"You are so evil. How will I get a good reputation when I can't tell the guys I didn't get you laid?"

"How important is that for you?"

"On a scale from one to ten? Zero." He laughed and pulled her in his arms. "It doesn't matter what the guys think, they have their own fantasies about us. None of them are close to reality."

"What a surprise. Well, Sara made you gay."

"Yeah. Because I look so good."

"Of course you do. I like your blue eyes, Don."

"I like your blue eyes, Sofia."

"Your ass looks great in jeans and suits."

"Your whole body is a piece of art in everything you wear - or don't wear."

"We're flirting."

"We're both good in flirting."

"True. Go to bed, Don, your lieutenant wants you to be awake and fit in the morning."

"Yes Sir. Sleep tight." He kissed her cheek.

"You too." She watched him leave her room with a little smile. The relationship to Don was the best relationship she ever had with a man. Plus he was the best looking man she ever shared her home with.


	10. Chapter 10

**Part 5**

To save Sara a trip to the police department, Sofia had been at the motel in the morning, helped Sara with the lotion and ordered her to stay in her room for the rest of the day again.

When Sofia came to the motel in the evening, she found Sara's room locked and after knocking a few times and no visible reaction from the inside, she went to reception. An elderly man was there, working on the computer.

"Good evening, I'm looking for Miss Sidle, room seventeen."

"As far as I remember, she left her room an hour ago."

"Did she tell you where she wanted to go to?"

"No, I didn't talk to her. Do you want to leave her a note?"

"I'll try her cell phone first. Thanks." Sofia left the reception, took her cell phone and searched for Sara's number. "Where the hell are you?"

"Mom, I'm over twenty-one." Sara replied.

"Funny. I'm at the motel."

"And I'm at the water reservoir. There was no way I could stay another full day in my room."

"What does your skin say about this trip?" The sun was still up, it was warm and Sofia couldn't imagine, that Sara's skin liked the sunshine. There weren't many place with shade around the reservoir.

"My skin says, the big colorful umbrella is good for sunshine too. I did look a little bit ridiculous with it, but you've to make some compromises for your freedom. You should come here too, I found a dog park, I'm sure your killer machines will enjoy it here."

"My puppies do enjoy the dog park, yes. Alright, I'll get them and come down to the dog park."

"I might be still here if you hurry."

"If you dare to walk away, I put you on the radio and you'll end up in custody again. Think about it, Miss Sidle."

"Hurry, detective."

"It's lieutenant." Sofia grumbled while she put her cell phone away. She understood that Sara was sick and tired of being in her room and needed a walk. After a day in the office, the first thing Sofia did when she was home, was taking Scooby and Rantanplan out for a long walk. She didn't understand how some people could sit the whole night in front of the TV after a day in the office.

She parked her car in front of her garage, went upstairs to change and got her two dogs out of the garden and started a little run with them down to the dog park. Rantanplan and Scooby enjoyed the run and jumped around Sofia, taking as much space as the leash gave them.

Sara sat on bench under a tree, watched the dogs and read in a magazine. She looked like a tourist, who found a nice place for a little break. Well, she was a tourist. Kind of.

"Hey." Sofia let her dogs free and walked to Sara.

"Hey." The brunette looked relaxed, bent down to pet Sofia's dog and smiled. "Am I under arrest for leaving my room?"

"Depends. How's your skin?"

"Sore and I think I peeled a yard of skin off today."

"Ouch."

"Yes. I got some new lotion, the druggist gave me the advice to see a doctor, even if that was a little bit late now. I got two different kinds of lotion and thought, I need a little walk. There are some really nice buildings around here and I like the fact, that they built this dog park and the path around the reservoir. The only thing I didn't find was a Borders shop."

"The next one is on Vine Street in Hollywood."

"If I stay longer, I'll go there."

"Have you made a decision what to do next?"

"No, not yet. I've two more nights in the motel, after that, I've to extend my stay or go anywhere else. I had a look for some new excursions to South America, but I'm a little bit burnt – in two ways. Not only because of my skin, but the last trip destroyed the fun in this a little bit."

"I'm sure excursions aren't usually to get drugs into the States, but you might not want to carry stuff for somebody else anymore. I've no idea if I can get you out of custody when the custom police catches you with a bag of heroin."

"You'd believe that I didn't know about it?" Sara smiled.

"Yes. So there's no plan B?"

"No. I need to work again, that's for sure."

"Back to Vegas? Back to nightshift?"

"No. I'm not ready to go back to Vegas, not ready to work as a CSI again. I'd like to do something else, something that doesn't includes more dead bodies than fun in my life. I wouldn't mind to do something else, something, that has nothing to do with law enforcement. At the moment I feel like I only want to work as much as I need to support my lifestyle. Means, I'll need a cheaper accommodation."

"I've a room to give away."

"You and me in one house? When do you expect the first dead body?"

"If you behave we should both survive."

"If I behave? What about you, lieutenant?"

"I own the place."

"I'll have a look in the paper tomorrow."

"Sara, I'm serious. If you want, you can stay. I'm sure Don won't mind, he mentioned a few times that he likes you yesterday, and if you change your mind in a week or a month, or want to go anywhere else, it's alright. Why rent a place and in a month, you make the decision to leave and go to…Kuala Lumpur."

"I doubt I'll go to Malaysia even if it's supposed to be a nice place. But I know what you mean. Despite the not nice start here, I can imagine to stay a little bit longer in Los Angeles, I like the fact, that the ocean isn't too far away. First I thought of a return to San Francisco, I missed the water when I was in Vegas. The problem is, I do miss Vegas too and from here it's not a problem to go on a weekend trip to Sin City. And there's plenty of green around, especially here in Silver Lake."

"Elysian Park isn't far away from my house and Angeles National Forrest is fourteen miles away, you're there within half an hour. You can take Scooby and Rantanplan with you on a hike, they love it there."

"Is Rantanplan as stupid as the dog you named him after?"

"No, he's a smart dog and Scooby isn't scared of everything, but hoggish."

"Good to know."

"Does that mean you'll stay?"

Sara cocked her head. "You really want me to stay with you, Sofia? Are you sure?"

"Yes." Sofia had no idea why she wanted Sara to stay. She hadn't thought about that when she offered Sara the room, now that she started to think about it, she had no idea why she did so. What happened that she spent all these times with Sara? That she came to see her in the morning, help her and offered her a room. She couldn't give Don a proper answer of this question last night, she still wasn't able to find an answer, she was satisfied with.

If Sara agreed and got a job, it could be that they had to share a house for a long time. Did Sofia really want that? Was it possible for them to live together under the same roof and not to fight?

"What if I find a job anywhere else?"

"There's no limit how long or short you stay, Sara. If you find a job somewhere else and want to live closer to that, you can leave whenever you want."

"Can I see the room before I make a decision?"

"Of course." Sofia laughed. They didn't make a tour through the house the last night. "Shall we get some dinner on our way to your maybe new home? I'm starving."

"Food is always a good idea. All I had today were some muffins."

"Muffins?"

"Yes, self made muffins. Triple choc, chocolate flakes, banana and blueberry. The owner of the motel bakes them every day and sells them to hungry guests. I had four yesterday and because they were so great, I bought another four today. With a fruit salad the perfect breakfast and lunch."

"You had muffins and didn't save one for me? I don't want you in my house anymore!"

"Shall I get you one tomorrow?"

"One? You need to bring a dozen when you move in."

"Okay, I'll order them for Sunday morning. Aren't you scared of all the calories? Here in Los Angeles you've to be thin and sporty."

"I am slim, sporty and sexy. Don't worry, I'll run around the reservoir twice a day for a week and all the calories will be gone. Get me muffins!"

"Do I get a discount on the rent for them?"

"You won't get the room if you come around without them. They are the deposit, you won't get back when you move out."

"Is that legal?"

"In my house yes."

"What about a pick-up service?"

"For a pick-up service you need to get some good coffee with the muffins."

"Alright, you'll get that as well."

"We just made a deal." Sofia whistled once and her dogs came back to her. "Let's get back to have a look at your new room. Don should be back soon, he has to approve –which he'll happily do - and you can pack your stuff and move in." She saw no problem with Don agreeing on Sara as a new housemate. After all, he had told Sofia, he liked her and wanted to meet her again.

"Sunday. I paid until Sunday. No need to leave the muffins before that."

"Right, the muffins. Very important." Sofia grinned. What a nice way to get some free muffins. She had to remember the next time, she had a room for rent, it was a rule that the new house mate brought muffins and coffee. She was sure, Don would agree on that new rule.


	11. Chapter 11

The spare room was around fifteen square yards, had two huge windows and faced the garden. A door to the left connected it with a separate bathroom, that was around three by two. Nothing big, but enough for Sara. At least until she knew what she wanted to do and where she wanted to live. There was a queen size bed, a wardrobe, a dresser, a little desk and small book shelf in the room, She didn't need to go shopping.

"Where do I have to sign?" Sara asked. There weren't any reasons not to take this offer and stay here for a while.

"You don't have to sign anything, Sara. I trust you that you'll pay your rent on time. If not, I've got a detective living in the house, he can arrest you."

"As a lieutenant, you don't arrest people anymore?"

"I'm homicide."

"So is Don."

"Yes, but my rank is higher, I can send him to do other things. The sweet taste of power."

"Are you using your job for your private pleasure, lieutenant?"

"Sometimes. If you tell anybody I'll deny it and you don't have any evidence to prove me wrong."

"I won't risk any trouble with my new landlady."

"That's a wise decision. We need to celebrate this decision, give me a minute, I'll get some sparkling wine. There's a little bottle somewhere."

"I don't need sparkling wine."

"You'll get it anyway. Try your new bed." Sofia left the room. She had a new housemate. Not only would her accountant like the fact, that she had a new more dollar every month to pay her debt, but she had the first female housemate. So far it had been men the whole time, who shared her house with her.

"I'm back home!" She heard Don calling from the front door. She had wondered where he had been, he had the same work hours like she had, but as she knew, as a cop you were never one hundred percent sure when you came back home in the evening. You couldn't plan an emergency. She spent more evenings on duty than she could count.

"And somebody is in trouble! Wait until I'll get you in my hands, woman!"

Sofia chuckled. She had parked her car right in front of his garage, he hated that and she always was in trouble when she did that. It was a kind of running gag between them, that usually ended with a willow fight or Sofia on the ground, Don over her, tickling her until she begged him to forgive her.

When she heard him running up the stairs, she got back in Sara's room to hide there.

"I think I'm in…Sara?" When she saw Sara, Sofia stopped. The brunette was trembling and before Sofia could reach her, Sara's eyes rolled until there was only white and she dropped on the floor.

"Sara!" Immediately Sofia was beside her, on her knees, looking for a pulse.

"You'll…what happened?" Don forgot his revenge when he saw Sara on the ground.

"Call 911, she just dropped. I've got a pulse, a very high one, but she's unconscious. Sara? Sara, can you hear me?" Sofia tried to shake Sara carefully. No reaction.

"An ambulance is on it's way. What did happen?" Don was back with them, took a pillow from the bed and placed it under Sara's head.

"I don't know. I wanted to get some sparkling wine, you came home, I was about to hide here, when I saw her. She trembled like she was in a very cold place, rolled her eyes and dropped down. I swear, she was fine when I left her, Don."

"Her pulse feels like she is running a marathon." Don held Sara's hand.

"I know."

"And she's pale like a ghost. Did that happen before? Did she faint before?"

"Not that I know of."

"I'll open the door for the ambulance and get some water, maybe that will bring her back."

"I'll stay with her." Sofia stroke softly over Sara's cheek. How could that happen? Sara had been fine, they had joked around, there was no reason for the brunette to faint. At least no reason Sofia could think of.

It seemed to be like ages until Sofia heard the heavy boots of the paramedics.

"What did happen?" A man around her own age asked and got down next to Sara.

"I don't know. She trembled, her eyes rolled and she dropped."

He checked Sara's pulse. "Did she make sport? It feels like she was running." He said to his female colleague, who seemed to very young, maybe new.

"No, she stood in the room."

"We'll get her to Silver Lake Aid."

"I'll come with you." There was no way, Sofia would left Sara alone.

* * *

Waiting was one of the worst thing for Sofia to do. Waiting, sitting somewhere, helpless, useless and with no idea, what was going on, was a nightmare for her. The paramedics had taken Sara to hospital and Sofia was told to wait outside. A doctor had been with Sara, she was still unconscious, a nurse was with her now, while Sofia and Don were forced to sit outside and wait.

"I'll go crazy if I have to wait longer." Sofia jumped up and started to pace around. Why wasn't she allowed to see Sara? Why didn't anybody talk to her? What was going on? What was wrong?

"Excuse me." She stopped the nurse, who left Sara's room. "How is Miss Sidle?"

"Are you a friend?"

"We used to work together in Las Vegas."

"Do you know a Gilbert Grissom?"

"He is her ex lover." At least, that was what Sofia thought. They hadn't talked about Grissom and with Sara having no intentions to go back to Las Vegas, their relationship had to be over.

"They're not in contact anymore?"

"I met her this week after a long time, she didn't mention his name once, so I think, they've split a long time ago. Why?"

"He's listed as a contact person. The only contact person."

"They were close before they became a couple, I guess, she never changed that."

"Do you know if she has family?"

"Her parents are dead, she is an only child, there is nobody. What did happen? Can I see her?"

"You're not family."

"We just established, she doesn't have a family. I'm the only person in Los Angeles, who knows her, who she knows. You can talk to me."

"We're with the LAPD." Don held up his badge. "Miss Sidle lives with us."

"She should wake up soon. One of you can go in, but she has to wake up alone. Stay quiet, please."

"Alright." Sofia looked at Don, who nodded and went inside the room. She had to swallow when she saw Sara. Even with her sunburn, the brunette was as white as her sheets. An infusion was dropping some liquid in Sara's veins. Carefully Sofia pulled a chair to the bed, took Sara's hand and watched her. She was unconscious, asleep or whatever but she didn't look peaceful. She was pale, she looked like she was sick, like she needed some help.

What could have caused Sara to break down? She had been jumpy the whole week, Sofia had noticed it a few times, had wanted to ask Sara, what was wrong, but it never seemed to be the right moment. Talking with Sara about private things was complicated, they hadn't been close enough to talk about, what was going on in each others lives, they weren't close enough. Sofia had planed this conversation after Sara had moved in with her and Don. A quiet evening in the garden, a time, that felt goof for a talk.

"Sofia?"

Brown eyes blinked at Sofia, like Sara was trying to get a clear view, like Sofia sat in fog and Sara could barely see her.

"Hey, welcome back to the world."

"Where am I?"

"You're in hospital."

"Why?"

"You lost conscious." Sofia pressed the button to call a nurse.

"Why?"

"I don't know. We wanted to celebrate that you'll move in with Don and me, I was on my way to get some sparkling wine, when I came back to the room, you were shaking, rolled your eyes and dropped down before I could reach you."

"I can't remember a thing." Sara closed her eyes. There was too much pain. Headache. Her shoulder ached too. Not to mention her skin. She felt like she got ran over by a train.

The door was opened and a doctor stepped to them. "I'm doctor Bendler, how are you, Miss Sidle?" Doctor Bendler wasn't far away from her retirement day, at least she looked like that. Her gray hair was short, her eyes observed Sara like she could see what was wrong with her by only looking at her.

"Perfect, I think, I can go."

Sofia looked in disbelieve at the brunette. This couldn't be true.

"You must have hit your head very badly. You'll do a lot of things, Miss Sidle, leaving this hospital isn't one of them."

"Why?"

"Let me see: You were brought in by an ambulance because you lost your conscious. You fell, have a concussion, there's no obvious reason why you fainted and oh, your skin doesn't look too good either. I'm sure you noticed, it's burnt."

"I have some lotion for that."

"I'm sure you have, like you haven't seen a doctor because of that. A lot of pain you had to live with because you refused a doctor. We'll see what we can do now that you're here. And we'll find out, what made you lose your conscious."

"I want to go home."

"I want to be a millionaire, we all want things, we can't have. Did you lose your conscious before?"

Sofia had to admit, she liked the doctor. She didn't pay any attention to Sara's desperate try to escape, she didn't let her talk her into going home, she wanted to find out, what got Sara here. It was obvious, the brunette wasn't happy with that, but it was the best for her.

"No."

The doctor looked at Sofia. "Can you confirm that?"

Being a part of this conversation wasn't good. Sofia was on the side of the doctor, but she didn't want Sara to know that. She had to look pro Sara or at least neutral.

"I've never seen her faint before."

"Any idea why you lost conscious?"

"Maybe I didn't drink enough and dehydrated."

"No, that wasn't the reason. Did you feel dizzy before? Anything unusual happened today? The last couple of days?"

"I got this sunburn."

"Your skin is peeling, for a sunstroke is it too late. Miss…?" The doctor looked at Sofia.

"Curtis."

"Miss Curtis, was there something unusual this week you've noticed?"

"Uhm…" Great, there was her catch 22.

"What did you see? Did you find your friend unconscious?"

"No. When I came into the room, she was trembling, rolled her eyes and dropped."

"Why did you tremble, Miss Sidle?"

"I've no idea, I can't remember that I did."

Damn it, she was about to get in trouble with Sara, maybe the brunette changed her mind and wouldn't move in with them, but Sofia had to tell the doctor the truth. She had worried enough and now was the best chance to get some help for Sara. Help, the former CSI didn't want.

"You were the whole week very…tensed…jumpy. When I knocked on your door, you jumped like I scared you to death and you reacted the same way when somebody slammed a door or when we heard the shooting. I know, you don't want me to say these things, but I worried about that the whole week and wanted to talk to you about it." Sofia looked apologetic at Sara and hoped, she'd understand, Sofia had no other choice.

"The change from the jungle to a big city, nothing to worry about. I'll get used to the noise soon."

"Did you tremble?"

"No."

"Yes, you did." Sofia sighed. Sara's look said something like, she wasn't welcome anymore and she was mad, that Sofia stabbed her in the back.

"Did you feel like you were at risk, Miss Sidle?"

"No."

"Are you scared of anything?"

"No."

"Do you suffer from panic attacks?"

"No." Sofia and the doctor knew, even if Sara had all these three things, there was no way she'd admit to them. She wanted to leave, there was no way, she would say anything, that endangered her wish.

"Your vitals are alright, Miss Sidle. Your blood pressure isn't high, I couldn't find anything unusual at your ECG recording, we've sent some blood to our lab."

"No reason to stay."

"Until we haven't found out why you faint and what makes you tremble, you'll stay. I don't want to have you picked up by an ambulance again. We'll find the reason faster when you work with us instead of against us."

"Why is she here anyway?" Sara pointed at Sofia. "I thought only family is allowed to be here."

"She's here because you lie to me and I need somebody, who's honest. If you kick her out, I'll talk to her outside and you won't have a clue what we're talking. Do you want me to send her out?"

Sara grumbled something and closed her eyes.

"I'll tell the nurse to get you a blocker."

"I don't have a headache."

"Of course not. A colleague will come later to have a look at your skin. And I'll be back later too, maybe you want to cooperate then. Otherwise you need to ask your friend to bring clothes for a longer stay."

"She isn't my friend!"

"What a pity, in that case, you've to wear the ugly hospital clothes for the week or so you'll stay here."

"You can't force me to stay here for a week."

"Do you want to bet?" Doctor Bendler asked cheerful. "You've got no idea what I can do. I'm the doctor, when I give you a diagnosis, that needs a long treatment, you'll stay. The other doctors won't work against me."

"That's…"

"Life. Sorry, I've to check my other patients, they cooperate more than you do, that's why I can let them go home early. If you want to talk to me, cooperate, let me know. Otherwise, enjoy your stay. Goodbye, Miss Curtis."

"Bye." Sofia bit her lips. Now the doctor was gone and Sofia was left alone with Sara's anger. She felt like a target.

"I hate you!"

"Sorry, but you…"

"My problems are not your business, Sofia."

"We managed four days not to fight, a personal record for us." Sofia sighed. "If you want, I can leave, but I won't lie to your doctor because I worried about you the whole week. There is something that haunts you, Sara. Something, that makes you jump when there's a noise. Something, that makes you tremble, lose your conscious. I don't want you to walk around, lose your conscious and get hurt, killed or else." Sofia got up. "Tell me to get lost and I'm gone." She didn't want to leave Sara alone, but she had to let her make the decision. It made no sense to stay and fight.

There was a silence for a few seconds. "I hate hospitals." Sara said quietly.

"Nobody likes them."

"There's no way I'll stay a week. They need to chain me to my bed if they want me to stay that long."

"Don't mention that to your doctor, she'll do that." Sofia smiled, took Sara's hand and was happy, when the brunette didn't pull it back. "Do you want me to get some of your clothes?"

"I'm afraid I won't leave tonight."

"No."

"I don't want to wear hospital clothes, they make me feel ill. Can you get my PJ?"

"Sure."

"Can you also get all my stuff out of the motel?"

"Sure. Do you still want to move in with Don and me or did you change your mind because I supported the doctor?"

"I haven't signed anything."

"No, you haven't." Even with a signed contract Sofia wouldn't force the brunette to move in with her if she didn't want it. To force somebody to live with you wasn't a good idea.

"But I said, I want to and will move in and I don't break a promise. And if you get me out tomorrow morning, I can order your muffins."

"Nice try, Sara." Sofia laughed. There was no way she'd try to tell doctor Bendler when Sara was allowed to leave the hospital.

"I've to try everything I can, I'm desperate."

"I'll get your clothes here and if you're nice, I also bring a book."

"A muffin?"

"I'm not sure if I can manage to bring a muffin without that I'll eat it before."

"The food in hospital is horrible."

"True. I might be able to get some salad, I doubt, your boss has still a muffin."

"I take one from any bakery."

Sofia smirked. "That will cost you, Sara."

"I'm helpless and out of money, I can't pay you much."

"You can't afford me anyway. I thought more of you'll be honest to the doctor, will let them treat you – your skin will like that too – and I bring you dinner, some breakfast and whatever food you want until you can leave. And I'll support your request for a fast discharge."

"You're blackmailing me."

"No, I try to find a compromise. Give me your keys of the room, think about it and when I'm back, you can tell me, what you want."

"So much for the police, protect and serve. They've to change that into extradite and blackmailing."


	12. Chapter 12

**Part 6**

"Good morning sunshine!" Sofia smiled, opened the door to Sara's room and came in. Her new theory for this day was, if she overwhelmed Sara with a good mood, the brunette might got some good mood herself. Positive vibes.

"This isn't a good morning, I'm in hospital and sunshine isn't a good thing either." Sara grumbled.

"Your skin looks much better since the dermatologist takes care of it." She wouldn't give up only because Sara was grumpy.

"Time heals the wounds."

"And the right medicine helps too."

"Shut up and give me my muffin!"

"I didn't know you're so much into sweets."

"That's the fault of L.A., it made me muffin addicted."

"Cute." Sofia sat on the edge of Sara's bed and gave her the bag with two muffins. Sara had spent two nights in hospital. A dermatologist had taken care of the sunburn, gave her some better lotion and even if Sara never mentioned it, she felt much less pain than before. She was able to sleep for a few hours and when she touched something, it didn't hurt anymore. Not that much at least.

"Don says hello."

"I'd like to say hello to him too – in person in your house."

"What does doctor Bendler say?"

"Don't mention this name." Sara hissed.

"Oh, you had a not so nice morning conversation with her."

"I haven't talked to this devil today and I don't want to talk to her. I'll leave here, no matter what she says. I'm fine, I want to get out and I won't let her make me stay. And if you're my friend, you help me."

"You won't get me this way, Sara."

"If you stab me in the back again…"

"I never stabbed you in the back, I said the truth."

"You were on her side."

"I was concerned about you, still am. And if doctor Bendler…"

"Don't mention her name! She's…" Sara stopped when she heard a knock on the door. A second later, doctor Bendler came in the room. She smiled, saw the muffins and shook her head.

"That doesn't look like hospital food, Miss Sidle."

"Because it is food. It has a good taste, it makes me happy and it wasn't delivered around midnight, like your breakfast is. Don't you have anything to do? Aren't there any urgent emergencies? Don't waste your time with me, I'll be gone soon."

"Says who?"

"Say I and there's nothing you can do to stop me! You've got no legal right to keep me here. Tell her, Sofia!"

Sofia swallowed. "I'd like to stay out of this conversation, please." She could understand Sara, hell, she also wanted her to be out of hospital as soon as possible. The problem was, she also understood the doctor and she wanted to be sure, that Sara was fine.

"Miss Sidle, we haven't found out why you lost your conscious, what makes you tremble."

"You said my vitals are alright."

"Yes…"

"So there's no reason to stay."

"Like I said, we need to find the reason…"

"There's no reason."

"Maybe there's no physical reason." Doctor Bendler said carefully.

"Like I said, no reason. I can go."

"Sara, there might be a psychological reason for your trembles and the lost of conscious. If that happened because you were under a huge psychological stress, it's important to find out, that is the reason. Dizziness, palpitation, trembling, sweating, all these are signs of a panic attack."

"I won't talk to a shrink nor will I go into a nuthouse."

"Is she always this friendly and helpful?" Doctor Bendler asked Sofia.

"No comment, I'll stay out of this."

"I stay with Sofia, I'm not alone, that should be enough."

"That's good but it doesn't help to find the reason for your problems."

"My biggest problem is, I'm here and want to get out."

"I make you an offer: I sign the paper for you to go home immediately if you promise to call this number and get an appointment." The doctor gave Sara a little piece of paper with a number and an address.

"Who's that?"

"Somebody who might be able to help you."

"A shrink. I told you…"

"A therapist. Not a shrink."

"Same shit, different name."

"You don't have to go to hospital, no doctors, no nurses, less than an hour a session."

"I don't want a therapist, I've been through this shit once. An useless waste of time."

"Just because you had one bad therapist, it doesn't mean, all the others are like him. I mean it, Sara, if you promise to go there, at least once, I let you go. Otherwise you'll stay here until one of my colleagues has figured out, what makes you tremble and lose your conscious. With you not helping it will take a while. It's your decision, make it now."

Sara was quiet for a few seconds, looked at the piece of paper in her hands, looked at Sofia, at her doctor. She was caught in a trap. No matter which way she went, she ended somewhere she didn't want to be.

"I can tell you I'll call her and won't do it. Even if you asked her, there's no way you get me back in here."

"I've to take your word, yes. And I think, you're a woman, who keeps her promises."

Sara sighed. The doctor found her weak spot. Great. "Fuck it, I'll call her. Whatever it takes to get out of here. It's Sunday today, I've one more day anyway."

"That's a deal. Excuse me, ladies, I need to sign some papers and you need to pack."

"With pleasure." Sara put the last bit of her muffin in her mouth. She didn't need an extra invitation to leave this place. Everywhere was a better place than here.

* * *

Sara dropped her bag on the bed. She had made it, she had left the hospital, was in her new home. Sofia's house. Her own room, nobody, who came in at five with breakfast, no doctors or nurses.

"Do you want to rest a bit?"

"No, I'm fine."

"I won't start to repeat what your doctor told you before you left, you were there, you heard it all, you know it and I won't start a new fight. All I'm doing is to ask you, to keep it slow, enjoy the day, don't overdo it."

"The sunshine still hurts, I didn't plan to walk around a lot. I'm fine Sofia, appreciate your concern. There is no reason to worry, I'll stay here, if you have the newspaper, I've no reason to go anywhere."

"The newspaper is downstairs in the kitchen."

"Perfect. Why don't you show me where the coffee machine is, I'll make some coffee for us, take the newspaper, sit in the garden and read the job offers. Otherwise you won't get your rent for a long time and I'll have to look for a new place to stay."

"The part of this plan I like most is the fact, you'll sit down and rest."

"You're a cop, not a nurse. Don't behave like one."

"I'm full of talents."

"Great, you can help me with my curriculum vitae, I haven't written one in ages. My plan is to look today for some jobs, write a few applications and if I feel alright and there's anything nearby, I'll go there tomorrow."

"You can have my car."

"Don't you have to work?"

"I do, but Don and me have the same shift, we can share a car, that's not a problem. And you don't have to take the bus. Just promise me, you won't be on the road the whole day."

"I thought more of from nine to eleven, get out of the sun and go again from three to five. My skin makes me slow down."

"Maybe there's a good side of your sunburn."

"No, there isn't."

"Talking about your sunburn, want some more lotion before we go down?"

"Again the nurse."

"Or a friend. No, we can't be friends, that's too strange." Sofia grinned.

"That's what I thought. Some things are impossible." Sara handed her the lotion with a smile. Even if they hadn't called each other friends, they were on their best way to become friends and they knew it.


	13. Chapter 13

With her laptop on her lap, Sara sat in the garden, a coffee next to her and started to look for some work. With one little thought she dismissed all jobs, that had anything to do with law enforcement. Whatever her new job would be, it had to be something else.

"I could employ you as my personal slave." Sofia offered. She was in her hammock, a beer in one hand, a book in the other.

"What does your personal slave have to do?"

"In the morning, you have to bring me my breakfast, prepare the bathroom for me. When I'm at work, you can clean the house, do the laundry, work around the house, wash my car and prepare dinner. When I'm back home, you can serve dinner, bring me a beer, give me a massage and read the newspaper out loud."

"How much do I earn?"

"You don't have to pay the rent."

"I turn that offer down. Thanks anyway."

"What a pity. Did you find anything so far?"

"I can be a clerk, a receptionist, work in a library or as a car park attendance. Not the best jobs, not a lot of money, but no more law enforcement."

"You'll sell my donuts and muffins later? Sounds good too. Do I get one or two for free?"

"If my boss agrees on some extra goodies for the police I can do that. Otherwise you've to pay like anybody else too."

"Damn it. Tell your future boss, I'll give your shop special attention, an extra officer for your security."

"Will you be my bodyguard?"

"Bodyguard? Maybe more a muffin guard. Or a donuts guard."

"Sofia, you came to me every morning to make sure, my back gets all the lotion it needed. You came along after work to do the same, you offered me a room in your house, you care for me." Sara was surprised how cheerful she could say these words. And how it felt when she realized, that they were true.

"You live here because I'll get rent money and my accountant will sleep better then. What means, I'll sleep better too. That's the only reason, don't start being sentimental."

"Of course." Sara smiled when Sofia tried to hide her face behind the book. They both knew the truth.

"Ladies, why are you so lazy?" Don came with together with a man and a woman into the garden.

"It's Sunday." Sofia informed him. "Hey Lynn, hello Kyle. That's Sara, our new housemate. Sara, that are Lynn and Kyle, they work with us. And they ignore the fact that today is Sunday, a free Sunday."

"It is, yes." Don took her beer away and finished the little rest. "You know what that means, Sofia."

"Not today."

"Every free Sunday, get your ass of the hammock, time for some exercise."

"I had my exercise, I ran with the dogs around the reservoir two hours ago. We're fine."

"Sofia, you're only scared you might loose. Like last week."

"You cheated!"

"No, you're too bad, can't hold the candle to me. Whiny little loser."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I'll make you eat sand." Sofia got out of the hammock. "Sara, do you want to join us?"

"Depends. What are you going to do?"

"We'll fight, it's war time!" Sofia said.

"War time?"

"Yes, we'll play basketball. Every day, all four of us have off together, we meet here to play a game or two. Kyle and me will win against Lynn and Mister Show Off. You can be the referee."

"I think, I'll watch and look for some work. Being the referee means too much trouble. The doctor said, I've to stay out of trouble today." Sara grinned. Watching the game was one thing, to be the object of hate wasn't what she was after.

"Coward." Sofia took the newspaper. "There's a tree in front of the house, you can sit there."

"Yes, in the shade, I know."

"Good." The blonde pulled the brunette on her feet. It was time for her to fight for her honor.

Sara sat with the newspaper and the laptop under the tree and watched the four playing for a few minutes. It seemed like both teams were even, Don and Lynn made as many points as Sofia and Kyle did. Both played on the one basketball basket over the garage gate and it didn't look that friendly all the time. Don sent Sofia down on the ground with his elbow while Lynn ended on her rear end when Kyle jumped up in front of her and landed half on her. There were some curses, but they never stopped the game. They bent the rules of basketball a lot and Sara was happy, that she was safe under the tree. What an awful thought if she had to go back to hospital because of a twisted ankle or anything like that.

She shifted her attention back to her laptop. She wanted to start her application and curriculum vitae and needed a few web pages, with the newest demand on how you had to apply to a future job. She didn't write an application for her trip to Costa Rica and when she came to Las Vegas, she went there because Grissom asked for her and she didn't have to apply for the job. This situation was something new, something she would handle.

Born sixteenth of September 1972, she realized, she wasn't too far away from forty. Gosh, what did happen to all those years? Was she already too old for a new job? Most companies wanted young people. She wasn't old, was she? No! And she was qualified. She had been sixteen when she went to Harvard and went to Berkley after that. When she started her job at the coroner's office in San Francisco and attended the Forensic Academy Conference, she met Grissom and…Grissom. Should she call him? Should she let him know, she was back in the US and was about to work in Los Angeles? Did she want the contact to her ex lover? They had never officially split. She left him with a note, sent him this video, in that she more or less told him, that it was over and they should both do what they wanted. Did she destroy their relationship or was it Grissom by not making a decision? She had no idea. There were no hard feelings, it didn't work out and she had accepted that.

Back to her CV. Back to her CV meant, back to Las Vegas. A little bit over a year after she had met Grissom at the conference, he asked her to come to Las Vegas, to work the case, that was built up against Warrick. They hadn't made it easy for her after Grissom asked her to stay in the team – especially Warrick and Catherine – but after a while, the rocky start was forgotten and they all became friends; especially Greg. She had to let him know she was back. He was likely over the moon and it wouldn't take long until he was here in Los Angeles to see her. Something she looked forward to, she missed him more than she wanted to admit. Hell, she missed the whole team.

So why did she not pack her things and go back to Vegas? Which reasons made her stay here? The former relationship to Grissom would make it difficult for them, people would observe them, suspect a new beginning of their relationship, talk behind their back. Ecklie, would– if he would take her back at all – give her a very hard time. She didn't want to work for or with Ecklie anymore, she didn't like him. Never had, never would. Plus the fact, that she didn't feel like being a CSI again. Pulling bodies of the street almost every night wasn't something, she wanted back in her life. She missed her old team, her friends, yes, but she wasn't able to go back and work with them again.

Her cell phone got her out of her thoughts. Who called her on a Sunday late afternoon? Who knew her number?

"Sidle."

"Doctor Weinberg, I call on behalf of doctor Bendler."

That couldn't be true. The shrink. Therapist. Whatever. "It's not Monday, you don't work on Sundays, why do you call?" Why pretend that she was happy to hear the voice of a person, she never wanted to know?

"Because doctor Bendler told me, you're likely to forget the call and she made you an urgent case."

"Great. I promised, I'd call you tomorrow. It's Sunday, I don't want to think or talk about or with shrinks and therapist or other weird things and people."

"Alright, we'll do that tomorrow afternoon, five o'clock. I'll wait for you in my office. Have a nice evening."

Before Sara could say anything the call was ended. This couldn't be real. Did this woman just made their first appointment without asking Sara, if this was alright with her? She was an adult, she could make her own appointments, she wasn't a baby.

Calling her on a Sunday afternoon was one thing, giving her an appointment without checking if that was alright with her was something else. She felt the urge not go there and stay here or look for a job. She had never promised to go there. What could happen to her if she stayed away? Neither doctor Bendler nor this new doctor could force her and Sofia…she didn't have to know that Sara didn't go to therapy. It wasn't her business anyway.

Alright, the blonde would make it her business, so Sara had to vanish for an hour or so and make her believe, she had been to doctor…whatever her name was. Why did people always make her life difficult? Why couldn't they all leave her alone? Mind their own business? She didn't want a therapy, she didn't want to talk to somebody. Of course she had noticed, that she was …sometimes a little bit uncomfortable and nervous. It had to be the change from a jungle in Costa Rica to Los Angeles. Or maybe the shock she got when the SWAT men entered her room and woke her up, was a little bit stronger than she had thought. Whatever it was, it was no reason to see a shrink. Especially not after this woman reminded her of doctor Bendler and treated her like the other doctor. Were all doctors in L.A. like this?

She got the paper, the doctor gave her in the morning out of her pocket and tipped the address of the other doctor in her computer. If the office was far away, she didn't have time to...damn it, the office wasn't far away from the police station. Not far away and way too close to Sofia's workplace. If Sara would mention her appointment with a single word, she knew, the blonde was there tomorrow. And then Sara had no other choice than going to this woman and talk to her. Or she was such a horrible patient that she got sent home after the first appointment. Yes, that was her new goal. She'd proof the doctor, she wasn't treatable.

Horrible. To get her thoughts away of those things, she got her attention back to the basketball game. She had no idea who was leading, but all four were covered in sweat and fought for every ball. Don had it, dribbled around Kyle, prepared for a shot, threw and had his arms full a second later. Sofia had jumped straight into his arms, legs leeched around his body, her arms around his neck and her face on his shoulder.

"You're done, Sofia, I didn't miss, we won again. You're a loser."

"But I look much better than you do."

"You're coved in sweat, you stink, your hair is a mess, you've a bruised right elbow and a lot of dirt in your face. You don't look good, you look dirty."

"Sexy."

"Maybe under the shower when you clean yourself."

"Something you'll only see in your dreams, Don."

"You think?"

"I know."

"You don't dream of taking a shower with me?"

"No."

"I can make you dream this dream."

"As long as you cheat and win, this will never happen."

"I won't lose to get laid. I can have that with my victory."

"Enjoy your night to get a cheap girl."

"I'll stay with you, Honey."

"Hey, stop flirting, you've got your rooms not too far away, if you have to jump each other, do that there and not here in public." Kyle complained.

"You're only jealous." Don let Sofia down. "I got the game and the girl."

"You'll never have me." Sofia poked his side, grinned and went to Sara. With a loud sigh she dropped next to the brunette. "How is your search going?"

"I'll send around a dozen applications out tomorrow and will go to the same amount of companies too. There might be some rent money soon."

"That are good news for the accountant. I'm more interested in my muffins. I never got the promised muffins."

"Sorry, somebody got all my clothes out of the motel, I never had the chance to go back there. I could order some dinner, what do you think about pizza?"

"Perfect. With beer. Guys, are we ready for dinner?"

"If dinner includes a few cold beers, yes." Lynn said.

"It does. And pizza." Sofia got up. "Come on, new housemate. You can order our dinner, I take a shower and then have a look at your sexy back."

"You mean red back?"

"A little venomous spider. Yuck."

* * *

Half an hour later when everybody had a shower, the second beer and slice of pizza in their hands, Sara felt like she was home. This was good. It was something new, to be surrounded by so many people, but it was good. She liked Don, that was a reason why she had agreed to move in with him and Sofia and Lynn and Kyle were funny too.

"Don't tell me the SWAT team made you change your job interest." Lynn said. "Because they were so rude."

"No, it wasn't their fault. I was sick of the job when I left Las Vegas and I didn't miss all the dead bodies, the violence and the desperation the last months. It's nice to have a week without violence and bodies."

"And you think you'll be happy when you're in a supermarket and sell food and sanitary article?"

"I'll see. It will pay the rent and if I don't like it, I can look for something new."

"You pay me and I'll tell my boss to hire you." Don offered. "And you don't have to pay me with money, Sara."

"You take muffins like Sofia?"

"No, you don't have to leave your room to pay me."

"Don, are you hitting on our new housemate?"

"A little bit."

"Stop that!"

"Jealous, Sofia?"

"No."

"Sure?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'm sure she can stop me herself."

"Yes, you try anything and you can sign for the girl's team the next time."

"Ouch, a cruel woman."

"She knows how to handle you." Kyle laughed. "Don't worry, Sara, he's only playing. You say no and he'll understand. Besides, I heard something about you and this chick from Santa Monica, Don…"

"I've no idea what you're talking about."

"Yesterday night, down on Sunset, a very close dance and hands all over the body. As far as I know there's a photo too."

"Never!"

"Somebody is trying to get a beach girl, now we know it." Lynn teased.

"No."

"Come on, tell us the truth, Don Juan…"

Sofia bent to Sara. They shared the garden hammock. "Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"If this is too much for you, after the two nights in hospital and for your first night here, it's alright if you want to be alone."

"No, this is good. They're nice company."

"Of course we are."

"I said they and not you." Sara popped Sofia.

"So charming. Who called you earlier?"

"Lieutenant, if you want to investigate something, you've to become an investigator again."

"I've to investigate in my job too."

"Interrogate."

"That too. So?"

"Not your business, Sofia."

"The doctor."

"I repeat myself but it's not your business."

"What did she say?"

"What part of my sentence didn't you understand?"

"The whole. Can I do something for you, Sara?"

"Stop asking."

"If that is what you really want, I'll do that."

"It was the therapist." Damn it, why did she have to tell it Sofia when the blonde offered her not to annoy her anymore? She missed the chance. "I've an appointment tomorrow at five." Why did her mouth not stop talking? What happened to her plan to keep this as a secret? Was her body working against her? Again.

"That was fast."

"Yeah, doctor Bendler made me an emergency case. Urgent. Bitch."

"She worries about you, so do I but I'm scared that you'll stop talking to me if I ask the same kind of questions she did."

"That will happen."

"That's why I'll wait until you start to talk to me, even if it's very hard to wait. Some things are worth waiting for."

"Ever tried to explain that to a man?"

"Yes, but I stopped doing so."

"How comes? You gave up because they don't understand it?"

"I tell them not to waste their time and leave me alone and if they don't get it this way, I show them my badge and tell them, they'll spend a night in custody if they don't fuck off."

"You'll stay single this way."

"Maybe. You – on the other hand – have a housemate, who flirts with you."

"Yeah, he's cute but I'm not the girl from Santa Monica."

"No, you're the lobster of Venice." Sofia laughed and held her side when Sara slapped her. This was good, this was fun.


	14. Chapter 14

**Part 7**

"Good morning, how did you sleep in your new bed?" Sofia hugged Sara when she came into the kitchen. The brunette looked confused, less because of the question but because of the hug.

"Sorry, we hug each other in the morning, I didn't realize, you don't know that." Sofia apologized when she saw Sara's face. She was so used to hug Don, she didn't realize, Sara was first not a hug-me-person and second, she had no idea of this tradition.

"If that means I'll get hugged by Don every morning I like this special house rule." Sara grinned. "It's not the worst way to start a day with a sexy detective in my arms."

"I'm a sexy lieutenant." Why wasn't it good to have her in her arms ? That wasn't fair.

"Of course." Sara hugged Sofia. "And now get some coffee and wake up."

"You are not nice, Sara." Sofia took her coffee and three slices of toast.

"She looks nice, no, she looks adorable wonderful." Don came in the kitchen, hugged Sara and kissed Sofia's cheek. "And so do you. I guess I'm the luckiest man on this planet, I live with a adorable beautiful woman in a big house and have the most beautiful boss."

"What do you want?"

"Why do you think I want something, Sofia?"

"You're too nice."

"No, I'm sexy, that's what she said." He poured Sara some more coffee and took a bagel. "What are your plan for today, Sara?"

"I'll look for a job. I wrote the applications yesterday, need to copy my CV, references and report card, send some away and go to some companies to talk to them and give them my application. If it's a good day, I'll have a job by the end of the day."

"Fingers crossed it will work out."

"I want to give her my car, can you give me a lift, sexy detective?" Sofia teased.

"You're the lieutenant, I can't put down an order of you."

"If that's not convenient for you, I can take the bus." Sara offered.

"No, that's no problem, I can give her a lift, we work the same shift, the same department. It's always good to arrive with the sexy lieutenant. People start to talk, think I'm a cool guy, got my boss, it's good for my reputation. Do want to sit on my lap, Sofia?"

"You might want to ignore him, Sara. I think this Santa Monica chick makes him lose his mind." Sofia chuckled. "When will we meet her?"

"I can't tell you, I've no idea where she is."

"Do you know her name?"

"Mandy? Sandy? Candy? Something like that."

"I see, you were really interest in her as a person, Don. If you ever work as sloppy as you pick up girls, you'll be in trouble with me."

"I didn't pick her up, I danced with her, it was loud."

"Yeah, that's why you used your hands."

"You weren't there, don't believe everything some unreliable eye witnesses tell you."

"You mean two very good police officers?"

"Eye witnesses. Unreliable."

"Sara, we have to find out who Santa Monica chick is. The next time Don goes out, we'll follow him."

"What if he picks up somebody else?"

"True, we need Kyle and Lynn to make sure, it's the same chick."

"Stay out of my private life!"

"Why?"

"Because otherwise I'll be very interested in your private life. When was the last time you had a date? When will you have a new date? Oh right, you'll have got a date on Wednesday."

"It's not a date, it's dinner."

"All dates start with dinner."

"Shut up."

"Where will you go to?"

"Fred's."

"Nice. Romantic."

"Shut up!"

"Sara, we should go there too, it might be interesting."

"I'm not interested in Sofia's dating life, you've to go alone. I prefer to look for a job or read a book."

"Spoilsport."

"No, she wants to keep her room." Sofia got up. "Get ready for work, Casanova. Sara, do you need anything before we're gone?"

"I've the keys to the house, if you leave your car keys, I'll be fine."

"You know where a copy shop is?"

"Yes, I checked it on the internet. I'll be fine, your car has GPS, I'll find everything. No need to worry."

"What about your therapist?"

"I'll be there on time."

"Good, I'll be there when you finished."

"No!"

"Do you plan not to go there?"

"I'll go there but you won't. That's way out of your business, Sofia."

"Alright, I trust you that you go." Maybe it was a little bit too much to wait for Sara at her therapist's place. Sofia had no right to put this pressure on the other woman. Maybe she overstepped a line. "Don and me usually cook together when we have the same shift, do you want to join us?"

"I'll include shopping on my list for today and join you, yes."

"Perfect."

* * *

Usually you got turned down when you applied for a job because you weren't qualified enough. That this also happened when the opposite was the case, was something Sara had to learn today. So far she had visited six places, twice she got turned down because she had no experience in the kind of work, she applied for, three times she was sent away because she was too qualified and they couldn't pay her, what she earn. It didn't help that she mentioned, she didn't expect to earn much more money.

With her skin burning because she had been too much in the sun, thirsty and a blister on both of her feet, she arrived a minute before five at the door of her future therapist. Maybe therapist. She never said she'd go here more than once. The deal was, she came here today and that was it. She had no intention to come here again or to go to any other therapist. She had better things to do; find a job to pay her rent. Yes, that was a good reason, she had no money for a therapist and she doubted, that her insurance wanted to pay for such a nonsense. Especially when it was one of these long time therapies, that made you come once or twice a week for years. What a horrible thought. And because she didn't have to tell this doctor what kind of insurance she had, she could tell her anything.

She sat in the waiting room, there was no receptionist, the whole office seemed to be left alone. Maybe her appointment got forgotten. The perfect scenario, she could leave and it wasn't her fault. Perfect. No gossip magazines, no newspaper, no science magazines on the table. Instead there were little books with short stories, crossword puzzles and illustrated books of other countries. Not what you expect when you come to a doctor or a therapist. Maybe people were too crazy to read ordinary magazines.

"Hello." A woman, who was a few years younger than Sara, entered the room. Great, if this woman had an appointment before her, she had to wait for ages. Fifteen minutes, no minute more was Sara willing to sit here and wait.

"Hi." She looked shortly at the new arrival. Tall, almost six feet, dark brown hair that was cut in between short and shoulder long, brown eyes. She didn't look crazy, then again, her own mother hadn't looked crazy and she was it. Were it when she stabbed Sara's father. And Sara was a bad daughter for not going up to San Francisco to see her. Well, at the moment she had no car, she could visit her mother later, when she had a job, a car and a few days off. She had to go up there anyway, the rest of her belongings were in San Jose in a locker. Not a lot, she could get everything with a car down, but it was too much to carry it.

She felt eyes on her, looked up. The other woman looked like she expected Sara to answer. She didn't hear a question. "Sorry?"

"That's alright, I asked how you are."

"Annoyed. I've an appointment at five and I'm not willing to sit here for ages. Until somebody has time."

"You are in a hurry."

"Yes. No. I just think…you don't make appointments when you let people wait for ages."

"Especially when the whole appointment is nothing more than a waste of time." The woman said amused.

"Yes. Do you also have an appointment for five o'clock?" Was this a kind of group therapy? Was that the reason why she got the appointment so fast? She had to be in a group with other people? In that case, she'd leave right away. They had never mentioned group therapy and she didn't want group therapy. Even less than she wanted a therapy at all.

"Yes."

"An appointment with doctor Weinberg?"

"No."

"Okay." Sara couldn't remember a sign with another name, but she didn't look for one. She looked for the name of the woman, who called her yesterday and went straight up to the second floor. It was a new building, a lot of windows, clean white walls, very friendly, a lot of plants and decoration, that made her feel more like she entered a huge family owned house and not an office building.

"You are here for the first time."

"First and last."

"You think your therapist will be that bad?"

"I don't see a reason to waste my time here. Like you said, the appointment isn't more than a waste of time."

"So why are you here wasting your time?"

"I promised to go. Once."

"No chance for a second appointment?"

"I don't think I'll see a reason for that. And I hate it when people are late, let you wait."

"You don't like waiting."

"I hate wasting my time and sitting here is wasting time."

"Then we should go inside."

"We? I didn't book group therapy."

"Well, you need a therapist with you in the room, don't you?" The woman smiled. "Maybe I should introduce myself: Jules Weinberg, your therapist."


	15. Chapter 15

Sara wasn't sure if she was embarrassed or mad. That was her therapist? She had told her therapist that therapy was a waste of time and it was her first and last appointment? Not the best way to start.

"You must be Sara Sidle, doctor Bendler told me about you. I'm glad you're here. Even if you only want to make it a one time experience."

"Why didn't you tell me who you are?"

"You didn't ask."

"Shouldn't you come out of the office?"

"Usually I do. Usually I don't work after five. After this isn't an usual appointment I made the decision, I get us some coffee and a muffins. I don't know about you, I can use a caffeine and sugar boost."

Sara didn't know what to say. That was a therapist? Somebody, who came in the waiting area, talked to her like she was another patient, told her more or less that therapy was a waste of time and at the end she invited her to coffee and muffins.

"I can't believe you're a doctor." Okay, that wasn't a smart thing to say, she had to use her brain.

"That's what my mom said when I told her, I'm a doctor. I swear, I'm really a doctor. I didn't buy the title, I wrote my dissertation myself and I know what I do."

"I…I didn't mean it that way." Sara stuttered.

"How did you mean it?" Doctor Weinberg opened the door to her office after she closed the front door and signed Sara to step in.

The office had huge windows on two sides of the room. Green blinds made it possible to look out but impossible to look inside. Half a dozen palms stood in front of the windows, On the left side was a dark brown desk, two book shelves filled with books. On the left was a brown couch with crème colored cushions, a crème colored table with two chairs of the same color and more plants. Sara felt a little bit like she was right in the middle of a forest; a bright and friendly forest, a clearing. The perfect place for a table.

"I…don't know."

"Maybe you'll remember later. Have a seat wherever you want. Do you drink your coffee black? With milk? Sugar? And what about a muffin?"

"I'm…fine…thanks…" This was highly disturbing. A therapist had to be old. Gray hair. A lot of wrinkles. Old fashioned. Second hand clothes. A self sewed skirt, a self knitted pullover, a mix between a hippie, a grandmother and a doctor. And not a woman with jeans, shirt, who was younger than herself and apparently very relaxed, friendly and free-spirited.

"Sure? They are fresh, both coffee and muffins. The elderly woman at the bakery makes them herself fresh twice a day. I've got a rhubarb vanilla and a banana chocolate. Pick one."

"Since when is therapy a kind of afternoon tea break?"

"Are there any rules you have to keep how therapy is? I didn't know there are strict orders like when you drive a car or play a certain song on the piano."

"Usually you sit down, talk and leave."

"How many therapies did you make so far?"

"One."

"And it was like that?"

"Yes."

"Did you like it?"

"I hated it."

"Do you like coffee and muffins?"

"Yes."

"See, so this has a better start." Doctor Weinberg didn't wait for Sara to make a decision, she cut both muffins in half, placed one half of each on a little plate, put them on the table, got the coffee, some milk and sugar to it and sat on a chair.

Sara took the other chair, that was facing the window. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Let's start our session a little bit different than you started your last one. I'm not a an old, gray haired woman, who wears self knitted pullover or a self sewed skirt nor do I offer you a herbal tea or ask you to dance your name."

Did this woman read her mind? How else was it possible that she almost repeated everything Sara had thought of before. That was scary. And on the other hand good to know that her last experience wouldn't been repeated.

"How do you dance a name?" Sara asked, pouring some milk in her coffee.

"Oh dear, I can't tell you. I heard about it, it seems to be a kind of therapy in some countries. You dance each letter in a certain way but I can't show or tell you how. Sorry, I'm the wrong therapist for that."

"That's alright." In fact, if the woman had started to dance, Sara would have left the room. "Do you want to ask all your questions now? Do I have to open myself to you? Tell you my deepest secrets and fears?"

"You want to do all these things in forty-five minutes? Minus the time we sat outside, the coffee and the muffin? Wow, you can talk really fast."

"Isn't that what you expect?"

"Is it what you want to do?"

"No!"

"So, why don't we do something you like to do? Like trying the muffins, they were warm when I got them." Doctor Weinberg started to cut off a piece of muffin with her spoon.

Sara shook slightly her head. This was strange. But better than sitting in front of somebody, who wanted her to spill her guts. And the muffin was good. Both were great. Even better than the ones she got in the motel and she had seriously thought about to go there again and ask, if she could buy muffins without being a guest.

"Where exactly is the shop you got them?"

"When you leave the building, the other side of the street, left side. The little bakery. Nothing fancy, no loud music or whatever shops do nowadays to get people inside. All they do is bake and that's what they do best. And make a wonderful coffee."

"Do they need some help? Somebody to sell muffins and coffee?"

"To sell or eat?"

"Both, but mostly sell."

"You're looking for a job?"

"Yes."

"And you want to sell muffins?"

"I can't see anything bad about being surrounded by muffins the whole day."

"You might get sick of them and won't eat them anymore. What was your last job?"

"I was with a scientist team in Costa Rica, we were on an excursion, made some tests, experiences, a lot of photos for a science magazine."

"You like nature."

"Yes."

"Are you a biologist?"

"No, actually I'm a CSI."

"You are in nature sometimes, but you have to focus on the dead body and not the lovely plants around you."

"Yes, you focus on the dark side of life, violence and have no time to appreciate anything that's alive or nice."

"You can't live your life without knowing the dark side, without seeing violence, but if your life doesn't contain some beauty and happiness, it makes you sad, takes away your energy."

"Yes. I want something else than bad things in my life, that's why I don't want to work as a CSI anymore. And after the last excursion wasn't that good, I don't feel like go on another. I think I want to stay at one place, organize my life new and have a new beginning."

"And Los Angeles is a good place for a new beginning? Better than the place you were before?"

"I don't know. I'm from San Francisco, lived for many years in Las Vegas and now…I missed the ocean when I was in Vegas and the warm weather when I was in San Francisco."

"Is it true that people from San Francisco hate it when other people call their city 'Frisco?"

"The older generation hates it, for them it sounds like you degenerate it, make it sound stupid. The younger generation doesn't have this problem, they use the short version sometimes too. I think, San Francisco is a nice name, but long."

"And when you're drunk probably impossible to say correctly."

"Aren't long words always complicated after a few beer?"

"Yes. So is it alright to call it The City?"

"Do you like it when people call you The Doctor and not your name?" Sara asked sweetly and sipped on her coffee.

"The first time after I got my doctor title, I liked it. Now I feel like people see nothing more than a doctor when they call me doctor and not my name. I think, I answered my question with this statement."

"Kind of." Sara smiled. "So doctor Weinberg, do you start all your sessions with new patients this way?"

"Only when the person tells me in my waiting area, that she hates therapists, doctors and thinks, it's a waste of time and won't come back again." Now it was doctor Weinberg, who smiled sweetly.

"That weren't the smartest things to say, were they?"

"Depends. Did you mean it that way?"

"Yes." Sara sighed. No reason to start lying after she had been brutally honest before.

"In that case these were the right words to say. I won't take that against you, Miss Sidle. I prefer brutal honest words than sweet lies. You can't work with lies."

"You can work with somebody, who tells you, your work is a waste of time and people with your profession are…not their favorite company."

"Yes." She laughed. "That's a start, that gives me the first goal: make her change her mind."

"I thought the first goal is to make your patient spill their guts."

"I like it more when people feel comfortable when they talk to me. And tell me what they want to tell me. I don't have a therapy plan, that tells me what I've to do or know in which session. I prefer to let the other person choose the topic and when we talk about what."

"Unusual for a therapist."

"Call me an unusual therapist. Were you a CSI like in the books?"

"No." Sara chuckled. No, she hadn't been a CSI of the books. She had been the trouble maker. The one, who worked like she felt and not always like she was supposed to.

"You worked the way you felt it was right."

"Which was luckily most times the way my boss wanted me to work."

"You had a good boss."

"My supervisor war good, yes. I can't complain about him."

"And you liked your job."

"Yes. I did."

"Now it's time for something new. Selling muffins."

"I applied – tried to apply – for various jobs today. I'll see what will happen, what will be my next work experience. I'm open for many things."

"Good luck with that."

"Thanks, I need it."

"I'm sure you'll find something you like. And if you sell muffins downstairs, I hope I'll get the biggest ones."

"I don't give anybody a therapist bonus."

"I'm not anybody, I'm somebody."

"Somebody, who doesn't wear self knitted pullover or self sewed skirts."

"And I don't know how to dance my name."

"You offer coffee and not herbal tea."

"I'm a horrible therapist. Maybe I did copy my dissertation."

"If you did, I'm sure you did it in a way nobody will find out."

"Thanks." Doctor Weinberg laughed.

"And if they find out, maybe they need somebody to sell coffee downstairs."

"I'll keep that in mind. So far I enjoy my job, have my title and I'll try to keep it this way for a few more years."

"I'm sure your patients will appreciate it."

"I hope so. Will you join me on this way or do you really want this to be our first and late appointment?"

Sara checked her watch. She had been in here for almost half an hour. Time flew. And she had a good time despite all her thoughts before.

"Do you think I'm treatable?"

"You're not a hopeless case. Not even close."

"What makes you say that?"

"You talk, you know what you want, you can express yourself, you listen. I've worked with people, who didn't have all of these things or even none."

"Okay, I'll give it a try. At another time? According to the sign outside you don't work after five."

"All my appointments between nine and five, the time I usually work, are taken. I can offer you the five o'clock and the eight in the morning appointment on Monday and Friday."

"Twice a week?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Not every therapy is once a week."

"What if I have to work at these times?"

"We'll find other times. If you want. If not, now is the best time to say so. No pressure to agree if you don't want."

Sara was quiet for a little while. Did she want to have two therapy sessions a week? Did she want to have therapy at all? Didn't she say therapy was a waste of time? Why was she thinking about it now? About two sessions a week. Did she really want to talk to a therapist twice a week?

"I won't get coffee and muffin every time, will I?"

"No, that won't happen."

"Do you expect me the next time to tell you all my fears and deepest secrets?"

"Why don't we start with, you tell me a little bit more about yourself. What you want me to know. And I might ask a few things, you're always free not to answer my questions."

Probably this was the only therapist, who gave her all this freedom. And maybe there was something she should talk about. After all, she wanted to know why she fainted too. It had scared her. It worried her. What, if she fainted the next time somewhere else? In the mall? While she drove on the highway? She had to make sure it wouldn't happen again. And to make that sure, she had to find out, why it happened.

"Okay, Friday morning. What about the money? I won't get this all for free, will I?"

"No, you've to pay a part too. If money is a problem, we can go down to one session a week. I understood that you lost conscious last weekend and there was no physical reason for that, so it might be important to find out why. We can cut back later, after we figured this out. I think, you'll feel better if you know why that happened."

This woman scared her. She had to be able to read her mind.

"Yes."

"Good, if you want, we'll start to figure that out on Friday. I guess it's something, that we won't find easily, so you might want to buy a muffin after that."

"That's not the best way to make me come back. To thread me."

"I'm honest. It won't be fun, it will be work, it will be difficult, it will be painful but at the end you'll feel better."

"I might need two muffins and a huge coffee."

"You know where to get them. I'll tell them, to give you the biggest one after our sessions."

"That's a kind of blackmailing…muffinmailing."

"Muffinmailing and blackcoffee-ing? I see you're a woman with fantasy."

"Sometimes." Sara got up. "Thanks for the coffee and the muffin."

"You're welcome."

"And that you didn't try to be a therapist…I mean…do you know what I mean?"

"I got you, yes." Doctor Weinberg laughed.

"Thanks." Sara smiled. This hadn't been as bad as she had thought. Actually it felt quite good. Very tasty.

* * *

"I don't see any blood on your hands, did you strangle your therapist?" Sofia teased when Sara came back home, two shopping bags in her hands.

"Very funny, why don't you get your funny ass out and help me with my shopping bags?"

"How many are still left in the car?"

"Half a dozen; I guess."

"Did you rob a supermarket? And if yes, why did you have to do it with my car and did anybody see you? Did you leave any evidence behind?"

"No, I was a good CSI, I covered my traces, made them believe, I paid."

"Good."

Sara put a bag on the table and got a big cake out.

"Wow, that looks good." Don peeked over her shoulder.

"Our dessert. I owe you both some muffins, unfortunately the bakery was closed when I finished my session, so I got this cake from the supermarket. And a few things more."

"Like six more bags?" Her asked amused.

"Could be seven or eight." She had bought more than food. Some clothes, a few books, everything that came her to mind, she might need for her new life. A new bikini after the last one was connected with a very bad memory.

"You're a shopping girl?"

"Not really, but when you don't own more than a suitcase and a small backpack, you might need to go shopping and get some more things. I've this nice room, I've to put some things inside. Like books. And if I find a strong and nice guy, I can also go and buy a TV on the weekend."

"Add sexy to it and I'm your man."

"Or I'm her woman." Sofia placed four bags on the floor.

"She said guy, not chick. She's looking for me, not you, Sofia. I won."

"Are you looking after the dinner, Don?"

"One eye on Sara, one on the dinner, Love."

"Use both for the dinner, I take Sara with me to get the other bags."

"You take away dessert."

"She our housemate."

"A delicious one."

"Don, down!"

Sofia took Sara's hand and pulled her out of the kitchen.

"If you want him to stop, tell him." She placed her hand on Sara's shoulder.

"No, that's alright, I know he's joking."

"Good. He likes you and if you feel uncomfortable because he plays around, he'll stop it."

"No, I'm really fine. I might respond one day and watch how he'll struggle not to lose his face." Sara grinned.

"I'd love to see that. How was therapy? Did you tell the old man, you won't come back, don't need him."

"The old man is a woman, who's younger than we are and I'll be back on Friday. It was alright, she won't force me to say something, I'm free not to answer her questions. If she keeps it that way, I'll give it a try."

"Good. You scared me when you lost conscious, Sara."

"I scared myself and I'd like to know why that happened. But I'm not sure if I find the solution in therapy."

"I'm glad you'll give it a try and if there's anything I can do, say it please."

"Thanks for the offer, Sofia. Oh, before I forget: I had two really good muffins when I was with doctor Weinberg, I think I'll go back there tomorrow and get you the dozen muffins I owe you."

"You had muffins with your therapist? What kind of therapy is that? The muffins therapy?"

"Muffin and fresh coffee. I'll tell you the story when we've dinner. And no, she can't be your therapist, she has no more free appointments and I don't want her to be your therapist too. She's mine."

"You're getting territorial, Sara."

"Yours is mine, mine isn't your business. Oh that reminds me, MY car keys are back on the board. Thanks." Sara grinned, took the last bag and walked back to the house. This day wasn't that bad at all.


	16. Chapter 16

**Part 8**

The door slammed into it's lock, a male voice cursed, called her all different and not very nice things. Sofia smiled. That was a successful day. She locked two dealers away, the streets of Hollywood would be a little bit cleaner tonight. Of course she knew, when she put two dealers in jail, four new ones would fight to get these free positions, but one by one, she'd get them all into jail. She had time, she had manpower, there was no reason why she should lose. As soon as you started to think about losing, you had lost. And she didn't like to lose.

With a smile on her face she went back in her little office. Lynn was sitting on the edge of the table, obviously waiting for her.

"Lieutenant."

"Officer."

"How did it go?" Lynn had worked with her the two cases of the drug dealers, in fact, it had been Lynn, who made the arrest and got most of the evidence. A thing, Sofia mentioned once or twice to her captain. Her officer got these two dealer, who were also killer, behind bars.

"I think Baxter understood you deserve all the credits for the case."

"That's nice but I was more interested in where the guys are."

"In jail. The prosecutor will see them tomorrow. Chances they'll have a longer holiday in jail are good, Lynn."

"Good. Then it was worth the effort. Even if we can go out tonight and get a few more in without a problem. They grow again fast than weed…the garden one I mean." She smiled.

"Both fits. We can try to make the streets safer, we can't get them all. They are killer, we did a good job." The killing part was the reason why Sofia was involved in the case. She was one of the two homicide lieutenants in her department, most times her colleagues from down town did the bigger cases. She had have the chance to get a job there, get higher on the hierarchy, but she preferred it a little bit less stressful. It wasn't that bad to have mostly regular work time. Plus the fact, she had her friends here.

"Did you hear anything of the boys?"

"Don works a B & E with one dead vic, Kyle is on Hollywood Boulevard, somebody made long fingers there a few times this afternoon and a bunch of tourists are not happy. I owed the other lieutenant a favor and Kyle didn't mind the quiet afternoon. I'm sure if he thinks the same after he had to talk to a few dozen angry tourists, some with little, some without any knowledge of English."

"Why do they carry their wallets in their back pockets of their jeans? You don't feel when somebody pulls it out, when you realize it's gone, it's too late. Why not use a pocket inside the jacket? Or a money belt under your shirt? And why do they take all their cards with them? Your health insurance card of France won't help you in the US. Take your credit card if you have to, your I.D. and that's it. Leave the rest locked in a safe in your room."

"Want to be the speaker at the tourist safe seminar next time?" Sofia offered. Their department offered once a month a short seminar for tourists, how to act smart and safe while they stayed in America, especially in L.A.. Not many found their way to them, but Sofia couldn't remember, that she had to talk to one of the members of the seminar later because they got robbed.

"No, thanks, not my world. I prefer to stay in the back. You're the lieutenant, you can do that. I'm only a street officer."

"You're a damn good officer and if you change your mind one day, you'll be a detective."

"We can't all become detective or lieutenant, you need some people on the ground, out on the streets to do the actual work." She smiled.

"I'll ignore that, it's not a comment you make to your boss. Do you have the weekend off?"

"No. You?"

"I've Friday off, then four days of work before there might be two or three free days."

"I've Monday off, we can meet in the evening, go to the movies. Or have another match."

"Don's working. He has Saturday off and then five days straight before four days off. I wonder when the boss gets the work schedule a little bit more organized."

"When you can plan some activities and know, you don't have to cancel them because there's a hot case. Again. I got a message today, lucky me can work next year at the Oscar night. Am I not lucky?"

"Absolutely. Even more stars than usually plus ten times more press. Really a thing to look forward to. I'm so jealous."

"If you want, I can write your name down too."

Sofia's eye got narrow and she didn't say a word. Lynn knew how much she hated days like the Oscar night. A lot work, a lot of people and too many things to worry about. That wasn't Sofia's world, she preferred her ordinary work day.

"No, thanks. I prefer to arrest drug dealers, killer or thieves than take care of stars and reporter. Maybe you'll find a rich man there."

"Yeah, a movie star and the year after that, I'll be a guest, walking the red carpet, waving at you. Since when do we get paid to dream?"

"We don't. Back to work, officer."

"I'm off for today, lieutenant. You?"

"I've to do some paper work before I can go home."

"How's the new housemate?"

"Busy looking for a job."

"No problems with her so far?"

"No, we go along quite good."

"Perfect. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Have a nice evening."

"You too. Dinner date."

"Get lost!" Why did they all have to call it a dinner date? It was a dinner, not a date.

* * *

Don had taken the dogs for a walk around the water reservoir, gave them half an hour to play with other dogs on the dog's playground and went back home. He knew, Sofia was out, only Sara was home. He hadn't seen her all day so he decided to knock on her room door to see if she was alright.

"Come in."

"Hey housemate, how are you?"

"I'm good." Sara sat crossed legs on her bed. From her laptop came some quiet music and she had parts of the paper on her bed.

"Any luck with the job hunting?"

"A little bit. Have a seat." She noticed that he was very calm when he came into her room, he wasn't the funny guy, he was anywhere else in the room. It was like he respected the room as her quiet place. Until she made the first step and made it obvious to him it was time for some fun, some jokes.

"Thanks. What positive bits do you have?"

"I've two interviews tomorrow. I might sell you some burger soon."

"You? Aren't you a vegetarian?"

"Yes I am. Selling burgers doesn't mean I've to eat them. It's not a job I've dreamed of, but it will bring some money for the rent and it's just four blocks down the street, I don't need a car for it. And if I get another job too, I might be able to save some money."

"Two jobs? You'll be busy, too busy to live in your room."

"I plan to sleep here, I won't work nights anymore. Daylight is a really great thing – if you don't get burnt."

He laughed. "True. Your skin looks better. Does it still hurt?"

"No, no more pain. It peels a bit, but I think I'm over the worst part. The lotion I got in hospital was good; don't say I should have gone there earlier."

"I'd never dare to say suggest something strange like that. So, what's next? Any plans beside job hunting?"

"I think of getting in contact with some people from Las Vegas." Especially one. Greg. She felt guilty that she hadn't called him.

"You miss them."

"Some a bit, yes. Have you been here in L.A. your whole life?" She was almost sure to hear an east coast accent in his voice.

"No, I'm a Yankee."

"Form the Big Apple. What brought you to L.A.? The weather?"

"No, personal reasons. Sometimes you need to a new beginning."

"Tell me about it." Sara didn't want to ask what personal reasons. She wanted people not to poke around her private life and respected it, when other people wanted the same too. If Don wanted her to know why he left his hometown, he would tell her.

"Los Angeles isn't that bad. I mean, the sport teams suck, but the weather and the beach make up for that."

"The next time I go to the beach, I won't fall asleep. It's too painful."

"You can join me, I keep you awake. Do you do any kind of water sports?"

"I surf."

"Me too. Miss Sidle, we'll have a surf date soon. I know a few nice spots, especially if we go there early in the morning."

"Sounds good, but I'd like to give my skin another week off."

"No problem. We will get you a wet suit too. Do you have a board?"

"In San Jose."

"Why there?"

"Because I left some stuff up there."

"Sounds like we'll go on a trip to San Jose."

"No, I'll do that when I've a car or a job to rent a car. There's no need for you to drive up there."

"Honey, if we go there, we'll have some time for the city and the beach up there. I didn't think of driving there and leaving after we've everything in the car. I want a little bit more, I'm not that easy to please."

"Not?" She chuckled.

"No."

"Usually men are easy to please while it seems to be impossible for them to please a woman."

"You know the wrong men."

"Maybe. I'd like to invite one over from Las Vegas, how are the house rules about visitors?"

"All female visitors are very welcome, especially in my room, men have to stay outside."

"Shall I ask Sofia if she agrees with that?"

"Why shouldn't she?"

"I don't know, I might invite a really sexy guy."

"She has a sexy guy in her house."

"You're arrogant, detective."

"Self-assured. You can invite friends, Sara, that's no problem. It's always nice if you tell us before you do, so we know about them and don't arrest them for being here in the house, but it's your home like it is our home, you're free to do whatever you want."

"Good."

"Is he really that sexy?"

"He's my best friend from Las Vegas, a funny guy, you'll like him."

"Why isn't he here already?"

"He doesn't know I'm back in the US."

"You don't treat your friends very well, Sara."

"No, I've to agree. I could be nicer sometimes. That's why I want to call him, tell him I'm here and invite him over for a day or two."

"Does Sofia know him?"

"Yes, we worked together. She had been to his apartment."

"Oh, such a kind of friend, interesting. Did he also see your apartment?"

"Frequently. He was my best friend, did you forget? You invite your friends over, don't you?"

"Right. Call him, Sara, invite him. I'm sure you'll enjoy to have a friend over. Even after you're not alone here, you've got two friends in your house, I hope you know that."

"I'm realizing it a little bit more every day, thank you."

"You're welcome." He hugged her. "I'll leave you to your job hunting now and watch a movie. If you feel like a movie or company later, come downstairs. I'll make some popcorn and there's beer."

"Thanks for the offer. If I feel like it after I wrote all those applications, I'll join you."

"Every smart boss will be delighted to have you in his or her team." He smiled and left the room. In his opinion, it had been a very good idea of Sofia to offer the free room to Sara. He was happy to have her around.


	17. Chapter 17

Sofia saw some light coming from under Sara's door and decided, it wasn't too late to knock on the brunette's door.

"Come in."

"Hey, why aren't you downstairs with Don, watching a movie and eating too much salty popcorn?"

"In a few minutes, I'm almost done with my new applications." Sara sat still on her bed with the laptop and the newspaper.

"Since when do you work on them?"

"A few hours?" She had lost time.

"Wow, you're devoted to it."

"If you write only one and send it to everybody, they'll see, it's not individual and throw it away. I found a page in the internet with tips and it says, you should take the time to write in each application something special, something that has to do with the place, you apply for a job. So I checked their web pages, tried to find something special out about them, looked for the right person to address the application to, if it wasn't mentioned in the job offer and that took some time."

"I'm impressed."

"Do you want to read some? Maybe you can find mistakes I made."

"Sure, if you want." Sofia sat next to Sara. The brunette had printed out a dozen pages. A bigger pack with more printed pages was next to this one.

"What time is it?" Sara asked.

"Almost ten."

"Wow. Why are you already back? Do you have to start early tomorrow morning?"

"No, I start like every day. The evening was…let's say, we had different intentions for the evening."

"Oh."

"I guess that happens when you have dinner with your ex."

"I imagine it's not the easiest situation for a cheerful evening."

"No. I had nothing more on my mind than dinner, agreed to this meeting because I thought, the break-up had been difficult, it could be good for both of us to talk about it. As I found out, I was the only one who had a conversation on her mind, my ex wanted us to use out tongues in another way."

"Despite the fact that you weren't a couple anymore?"

"Yes."

"It's not my business, but how did he have the feeling, you were interested in a new beginning? Or was this supposed to be a one night stand?"

"That's a good question. I wasn't interested in both possi-bilities and I made that clear. She didn't like that, so I left the dinner before we ordered dessert. I'm sure she had another kind of dessert on her mind anyway."

Sara looked up in surprise. She had worked on her last application while Sofia spoke, so she wasn't sure, if she had understood the blonde correctly.

"You heard right, Sara." Sofia saw the look and she knew, why Sara was confused.

"O-okay."

"Shocked? Confused? Surprised?" The blonde smiled relaxed.

"I guess surprised fits best. Didn't you date guys when you were in Vegas?"

"In Vegas yes. Before Vegas too. After twenty years of dating guys and getting nothing more than a few broken hearts, some lectures and the doubt if everything was alright with me because anybody else seemed to be happy in a long term relationship, I came to Los Angeles. I dated a few men, ended up like all the times before and – maybe it was the spirit of WeHo – I made the decision, I should try to date women. After all, I was sure, it couldn't get worse than before. So I changed the gender of my dates to find out if I can get a happy long term relationship this way."

"Looks like the change didn't help."

"Well, I tried it with men for twenty years, I made the decision to give woman at least half of that time, to be fair."

"It's possible to make the decision you love woman now? I mean, it's about feelings, you can't make decisions about feelings."

"No, you can't. I thought about it a lot before I actually did date a woman. It's easy to say, it's not possible to have any romantic feelings for a woman, then I thought of what was important for me a in relationship and I came up with a lot of things, the sex of my partner wasn't in my top five. So I made the decision, if the things I wanted most were given by a woman, I could try it. I met a woman, who seemed to have all the things I was looking for, it worked out good for a few months before we broke up. I wasn't what she was looking for. She told me her reason why she wanted to end our relationship and it was good to have somebody to talk about why it didn't work out. Most guys just told me it was over, barely gave me a reason if they said anything at all. I won't say I'll never ever go back to men, but it's nice to have a choice of one hundred percent of the people and not only fifty percent. I like variety."

"That's why you and Don are only housemates."

"No, that has nothing with Don and me to do. We are great as friends, it wouldn't work out as lovers, so why try to force something that doesn't exist instead of enjoying something that's good?"

"True."

"And I found a spelling mistake in this one." Sofia handed Sara the application form. "You missed a letter there."

"Oh, thanks. See, that's why I gave them to you, as a lieutenant you must be good at paperwork."

"Don't mention it."

"Sorry. I had some paperwork to do when I was in Costa Rica, I wrote an article for a magazine once a week and because we had internet, I wrote a blog for some students at an university in Pennsylvania."

"Can I read it?"

"If you're student there, yes."

"I know the author, doesn't that help?"

"Maybe. It's about plants and some local animals, are you interested in that?"

"It's always good to broaden your mind. Did you write about bugs?"

"No, I wrote about mammals. You mistook me with Grissom, Sofia." Sara grinned.

"Can't be, you're way to beautiful that I could mistake you for Grissom. This unique smile with the cute little gap, the twinkle in your eyes, the brown hair and not to forget the sexy tattoo on your ankle." Sofia touched Sara's ankle. The brunette sat barefoot on her bed, the legs of her trousers were slipped up a bit so that Sofia saw the little flower on Sara's left ankle.

"Do you have a tattoo?"

"No, I want one since I'm a teenager, I even picked one, but I'm too scared. The thought of the needle, that will stitch into me a million times…no, there's no way I can do that. I hate needles."

"The lieutenant is scared of a needle?" Sara giggled. "You catch killers without a blink and faint when you see a tiny, little needle?"

"Don't make fun of me, that are two different pair of shoes."

"Coward."

"Shut up. I don't need a tattoo, I can look at yours and touch it. They feel nice." Sofia let her finger ran over Sara's tattoo.

"Get your hands off me if you try to hit on me, Sofia." Sara laughed.

"Why? You're not into blonde?"

"Let me think…no! Hank was blond and he was a disaster."

"Who is Hank? I thought that's Grissom's dog."

"No, yes. But Hank was also a disappointment I had in Las Vegas. We were involved until I found while I worked a case, that he had a girlfriend. And he had been with her before we met. You can imagine, I wasn't happy about that, to be the side dish." Why did she share this with Sofia? It wasn't her style to share information about her private life, leave alone her relationships. And if she did, it was usually not more than a sentence, a short sentence.

"Must be an idiot. First for cheating at all and in special for cheating on you."

"Actually he cheated on his girlfriend with me, not on me."

"Doesn't matter, it's the same. He's an idiot. Otherwise he hadn't hurt and used you."

"Probably he thought, he can try to have two women, if he acts smart enough, none of them will realize. Without the case, without her photo of him and her, I hadn't found out what he did. Not that fast."

"They always make a mistake, don't calculate something and then you catch them. It doesn't make you feel better, but it comforts a bit. And I'm sure men and women are the same when it comes to cheating."

"Probably."

"Enough of bad memories and experiences, tell me something nice, tell me about your success on your job hunting."

"I don't have a job, I didn't succeed."

"No answers yet?"

"I've two interview tomorrow and might sell burgers to you soon."

"It's not my business and I know, you wanted to do something else than law enforcement, but I'm sorry, Sara, that's a waste of talent."

"It's money. Talent doesn't pay the rent."

"Your landlady prefers to wait for her money a little bit longer than seeing you unhappy behind a counter, selling fatty burgers and withered salad."

"Don't you think I'll look sexy in a fast food uniform?" Sara smirked.

Sofia cocked her head. "I think you look better in a bikini on the beach, did you apply as a lifeguard?"

"No, I don't think I'm good enough for that."

"But you have the looks."

"Sofia, I'm around twenty years too old for this kind of job. They want to look at girls around eighteen and I'm closer to the forty than to twenty-one."

"Impossible. What is the other job?"

"A ranger at Angeles National Forest."

"That sounds more like you. You help animals instead of having them on a barbeque. Will you be out in the nature or in an information center?"

"Both. It sounds good, it's definitive something I'd like to try. We'll see what will happen. I've never worked as a ranger and I found out the last days, it doesn't matter how good your marks are, how well written the reference is, when you're not experienced, people send you away."

"You have some experience, you had the excursion. Do you want my car to get there?"

"It would make things easier."

"Take it, I'll can drive with Don again."

"I need my own car when I get that job."

"We'll go car shopping. Not that you need somebody to help you with cars, you know everything about them yourself. Do you have a special car in mind?"

"A small four wheel drive if I get that job, otherwise a small city car. A parking lot is rare, the bigger the car, the smaller the chance to find a place to park it."

"True words. Come on, put the papers away, it's time to relax. A few minutes before it's time to go to bed. Let's see what Don is doing. If he's asleep, we can take a pen and draw something in his face or write nasty things on his forehead. He'll look like a jerk when he wakes up in the morning."

"You're a lovely landlady. I'll lock my door from now on when I go to bed."

"I won't do that to you – not in the first months."

"Great, I'll half a year of kindness and then you'll turn into a devil? Something to look forward to."

"Trust me a little bit more, Sara." Sofia took the hand of the other woman and pulled her off the bed. They walked down into the living, where Don was sitting awake and played Playstation.

"Look at him, movies and video games, like a teenager. Did you get the trash out?"

"I'll do that in the morning, mom." He didn't bother to look up, was too concentrated on his video game.

"Street Fighter. They made that for the PS?" Sara asked interested.

"Yes. You know the game?"

"I played it on a commodore 64 something like twenty-five years ago. The first computer I had, it's amazing how technology got better and better in those years and yet, Street Fighter is a classic."

"Want a duel?"

"Not tonight, maybe tomorrow. Do you have any other old games?"

"All games are in the shelf left to the TV, feel free to play whenever you feel like…shit! Bastard. Wait, I'll punch the crap out of you!" Don bit on his lips. He figure had taken a few hits and was down, he had to make a few points or the computer would win the game.

"I live with two adult children, great. So the two of you will spend the evenings in front of the PS, where leave that me?"

"Alone in your room?" Sara asked sweet.

"With your date?" Don offered. "You're home early."

"We had different ideas about how the evening should go on."

"A common problem."

"Yes, so I made the decision to come home, see my lovely housemates, find one on her bed, lost in work and the other in front of the TV, lost in…no, just lost." Sofia grinned when she saw how Don't figure went down and a deep red GAME OVER appeared on the screen.

"Fuck!"

"Language please."

"Screw the language, I almost got him. Damn it. Wait, you little bastard, I'll get you tomorrow, I'll destroy you, rip you into pieces."

"He's so sensitive, isn't he?" Sofia smiled.

"It's an ordinary reaction you have, when you lose Street Fighter. Especially when you're so close to win it." Sara could understood Don. She had cursed a lot until she finally won the game. It took her three weeks until she was the champion the first time. Three long and hard weeks, half of the nights in front of the TV to play the game, get better and finally win against the computer. Something you only understood when you were into computer games. Everybody else couldn't understand that.

"You're both nuts."

"Maybe you should recommend the game to your date, it's a way to get laid. Not the way most people have in mind, but the chance is high, you'll find yourself on your back."

"I won't meet her for dinner again, if I see her anyway, I'll suggest it to her. Our housemate was a little bit confused when I told her, I date women. That means, I'm too pretty to a lesbian because the sexy men are gay and the ugly women are lesbians. Wasn't that your conclusion, Sara?" Sofia just remember the conversation they had the week before.

"I never said that."

"No, you said you didn't mean it that way."

"That's the same."

"No, it isn't."

"So, you don't think I'm sexy? You think I'm ugly?"

"Don?!" Sara looked searching for help at Don.

"Tell her she's sexy and she'll shut up."

"She's scared I'll think she hits on me. Scared that I come to close to you, Sara?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I might slip into your bed later."

"I'll lock my door. And I planed that before because you wanted to write nasty words on Don's forehead in case he had been asleep. I'm scared she'll do the same to me when I sleep. Do you lock your door too, Don?"

"No, I've my gun next to my bed, if she comes into my room, I'll shoot her. Shall I give you my backup gun?"

"Do I also get an alibi?"

"Sure."

"I should kick both of you out of my house."

"You need our money." Don grinned and hugged Sofia. "And you're sexy, Honey. If she doesn't tell you, I do. Very sexy. I love your blue eyes and the sexy, slightly smoky voice. Are you sure you don't want to have a man back in your life?"

"I've got a man in my life, a housemate, he's better than a lover. Less stress, more fun."

"True. Want to get upstairs with me and have some fun?"

"Why does everybody wants to have sex with me today?"

"Because you're sexy."

"And I'm not interested. I want a relationship and not some one-night-stands."

"So we've to go out and find a woman for you. Shall we have a little trip to Sunset on Saturday? We both have to work the next day, but we can have a look around, some drinks and go home around midnight. You never know, you might get lucky – in a not sexual way of course."

"Okay, let's go out, have some dinner and hit a club. I feel like dancing. Sara, do you want to join us?"

"Depends on how lucky I get with my job hunting."

"I'm sure you'll find something very soon. There's still my job offer."

"No, thanks."

"What did you offer her?" Don asked.

"That she can be my personal slave."

"Will she work naked?"

"I won't work at all for Sofia. Not dressed nor naked."

"What a pity. I like the idea of coming home and see you cleaning the floor in nothing more than high heels."

"You're a pervert."

"No, I appreciate a beautiful woman."

"Now that the blonde didn't want to go to bed with you, you try me? Thanks Don."

"I tried you first, you refused. I'm a man, I'm desperate."

"You got laid by the PS, be happy with that." Sofia laughed.

"It looks like it's all I'll get today. Oh well, I'll survive and go to bed. Last chance for you girls to join me."

"I'll take my own bed, thanks." Sofia dismissed his offer.

"And I'll lock myself in my room. Better safe than sorry." Sara grinned.


	18. Chapter 18

**Part 9**

Patience had never been Sofia's strength. It had always been horrible for her to wait for somebody to arrive or something to happen. So when she woke up on Friday morning, her day off, and didn't fall asleep again within the first fifteen minutes, she got up. It wasn't even eight o'clock, way too early for a day, she could have slept until noon.

"Good morning and goodbye." Sara greeted her on her way out.

"Morning. Where are you going this early? Do you have an interview?" Wasn't it too early for job interviews?

"Therapy. You remember?"

"Muffins!"

"Yes. The bakery will be open today, I skipped breakfast, that means, I'll have muffins later."

"Mind if I join you? I'll stay out of the waiting room of your therapist of course. Scooby, Rantanplan and me would wait outside for you, get some muffins and coffee and…are you in a hurry after your therapy?"

"No."

"Maybe we can have breakfast somewhere. A park or so."

"Sounds good to me. I've to go, therapy ends at quarter to nine, you know where to go?"

"Yes. And I'll recognize my car."

"Of course you will. Later, detective."

"It's still lieutenant, civilian." Sofia grumbled. Degradation. All the time she got demoted. Just like in Vegas when she Ecklie demoted her. She needed a serious conversation with Sara about her rank, the correct rank.

Her dogs were in the garden, she knew Don had fed them.

"Hey guys, what do you think of a little run? No, wait, if we go for a run, we'll be stinky and we've got a breakfast date. So we'll walk around the reservoir, maybe a little run without sweating and go to Sara's therapist. If you guys are lucky we'll come along a butcher and I might buy you a bone. What do you think? Are you up for a walk?" Both dogs jumped up. They knew, the days when Sofia had a lot of time for them were rare and they never needed more than one invitation for a walk.

She took the leashes, put on her running shoes and left the house. The morning air was fresh, it wasn't full of smog. A look in the downtown direction showed her, the city was on it's way to drown in smog, an hour later and she wouldn't see it anymore. Not clear at least.

With Rantanplan pulling her and Scooby stopping at every second stone, Sofia was caught between the two dogs and tried to give each of them, what they wanted. A little run for a quarter of a mile for Rantanplan and another quarter of a mile slow walk with a few stops for Scooby.

"Hey Sofia, do you have a day off or can you start later?" An elderly Hispanic man with his little white dog stopped next to them.

"Good morning Ramon, I've a day off." She met the man every time she had a day off. He and his dog walked around the reservoir every day, needed almost three hours each time because they made a stop at every bench and never missed out the chance for some small talk with whoever was around. She knew he was a widower, lived only a block away from the reservoir and these walks were his only time he had contact to people.

"And instead of sleeping in you have an early walk."

"I can't sleep long when I get up early all the time and at this time is the air best for a walk."

"Don't you usually run? Are your dogs tired today?"

"No, I want to go to out breakfast after we had our walk, I shouldn't do that when I'm covered in sweat. There won't be time for a shower."

"True. With your boyfriend?"

"Ramon, Don isn't my boyfriend."

"Then he's a very stupid man."

"No, I'm a stupid woman, I don't want him."

"You'll have your reasons."

She laughed. That was a nice way of seeing it. He was stupid if he didn't want her, she had her reasons if she didn't want him. Sofia liked this man, he had humor.

"Yes, I don't date men anymore."

"If I see all these young men, I can understand you. When I was younger I thought, it's a sin, now that I'm older, I start believe, it's God's way to show them, women are not interested in their way of life. You need to be well dressed, clean and out of trouble to get a woman's heart instead of stay out the whole night, drink, fight and get in trouble. Women are the nicer gender anyway."

"Most times, yes. They've one tattoo and are not covered with them." Why did she mention tattoos? She had never thought about them before.

"They don't understand the meaning of: less is sometimes more."

"True. I've to go, it's not polite to let somebody wait for breakfast."

"You can keep a man waiting but never a lady."

"I'm not sure if she's a lady, but she's a woman. So I'll be a lady and be there on time. She mentioned something about very good and fresh muffins. And a good coffee."

"The best reasons to be on time – if she isn't the best reason." He blinked at her.

"I'm not sure if she can hold a candle to fresh muffins and coffee. She needs to be much nicer for that."

"She'll try if she's smart. Have a nice day, Sofia."

"You too. See you the next time. Come on, guys, we need a little run to be on time. We don't want Sara to wait – and eat all the muffins alone. Yummy in our tummy!"

She finished the rest of the walking path around the reservoir in a low running speed, checked her watch to find out, she had another quarter of an hour to be at the therapist office. Taking a few shortcuts, she was there at quarter to nine, jumped into the butcher shop three doors down and got two bones for her dogs. If she planed to treat herself, she had to do the same for her dogs.

With a small bottle of water she sat on a bench next to the front door of the office and waited. Even without her dogs by her side she had waited here. The therapy was Sara's private affair, not her business and she respected the wish of the brunette to stay out of her business.

Scooby realized first that Sara was around. His head went up, he got up and started to wag. He pulled Sofia forward so that he reached Sara as soon as she left the building and Sofia ended down on the sidewalk.

"Thanks, Scooby."

"You don't have to kiss my feet, Sofia." Sara chuckled and offered the blonde her hand.

"Tell that my dog, the not very well behaved one."

"I like Scooby."

"He likes you too."

"A smart dog. Sofia, that's doctor Weinberg, she told me about these great muffins. Unfortunately I didn't get one today, so she loses points for that. Doctor Weinberg, that's lieutenant Curtis, you ever see her not on her knees, be aware, she's a bad ass cop."

"Good to know." Doctor Weinberg smiled. "Now I know to whom I've to talk to when I get a parking ticket again."

"Parking tickets are not my business. If you have to talk to me, you've a dead body somewhere around you."

"In that case I hope I'll never call you. And before my next patient arrive, I've to get my muffin. I'll see you on Monday, Miss Sidle. Lieutenant Curtis, have a nice day and take care of my patient."

"I will, don't worry, doctor. But if you buy the last muffin I've to shoot you."

"I'll leave one for you. One each."

"Make it two and you're safe." Sofia shot back and gave Sara Scooby's leash. "There you go, your dog. Let's go and have breakfast I'm starving."

"Me too. Therapy is hard work."

"Looks like we need three muffins this morning."

"At least three and two coffees."

"Now you're talking, Babe." Sofia laughed. A muffin and coffee all you can eat breakfast was the best thing you could have when you got up early.

They got a dozen muffins, a large coffee each and made their way back home. To give the dogs the chance to run around a little bit more, they stopped at the dog playground and let them run there. To have the possibility to eat without them asking for food all the time, they sat on a bench outside and watched from a little distance.

"I know your therapy isn't my business, but it can't be too bad when you'll go there on Monday again."

"It isn't like therapy, not like the therapy I know. I think, doctor Weinberg doesn't have an ordinary session with me, she doesn't try to force me into talking. We haven't talked about the breakdown, she asks a few questions in general, let me tell her what I want her to know and reads a lot between the lines. She gives me feedback of what she understood and if I meant it in another way, I can say it again, with other words and we figure out if she got me wrong or if I said something and meant anything than what the words said."

"Sounds not too bad for therapy."

"It's alright. I've no idea how it will help that I won't lose conscious anymore, but maybe we'll go there. She'll have a plan."

"Yes, otherwise she hadn't asked you to come back. You keep your two appointments per week?"

"Until I've found a job, yes. Then we'll find another solution. I won't stay away because of a job if I can arrange both. But the job is more important."

"That's something we can argue about. For me, your health is more important."

"For your accountant the job is more important."

"Lucky for us, the house doesn't belong to him." Sofia smiled and put a hand on Sara's. "I'm serious, Sara. If you need a little bit more time to rest, it's alright. Don't force yourself into a job to get money, you can stay for a while without paying the rent. It's more important that you get well and stay stable."

"I'm fine and I'd like to work. Otherwise I might start to be a housewife and become your personal slave."

"Like I said, take all your time – and the dirty laundry."

"Your wish." Sara popped Sofia.

"I take what I get."

"But not your ex."

"You're not over the fact that I date women, are you?" Sofia chuckled.

"It was a surprise."

"Not a good one."

"I've no problem with the fact that you date women, it was just not that, what I knew of you from Vegas. On the other hand, I don't know much of you and most things I know, I learnt here and not there. As you can see, I don't avoid you, I meet you for breakfast."

"In a public place, where you're safe."

Sara furrowed her brows, got up and sat on Sofia's lap, arms around the blonde's neck. "How's that?"

"That's…close." Sofia had to swallow. That was very close and even more unexpected.

"Not scared at all. I prefer to have you come in my room to wake me up than you men with their guns and loud boots."

"I'll keep that on my mind."

"Good. Do we go home now or back to get your car?"

"Why don't we safe the car for an evening walk? I'd like to get you out of the sun before it gets too warm."

"You're cute when you take care of me." Sara grinned, got up and whistled once to get the attention of the dogs. She had three dogs looking at her, none of them were Sofia's. Maybe she had to practice a little bit more before she had the attention of Scooby and Rantanplan.

* * *

"Care for another muffin?" Sara asked. They were back at the bakery to get Sofia's car. Through the open window of the bakery came the sweet smell of muffins and coffee. It was almost five, the shop closed at five.

"We had four each and Don ate the rest."

"Don't you need some breakfast for tomorrow?"

"True. And we can put them in the freezer, they were so good, we should have some in the house. Okay, let's buy the rest."

"And because we walked here, we deserve a coffee before we go home."

"Right. Give me your car keys."

"Why?"

"I'll drive."

"It's my car."

"Okay, I get the muffins, the coffee and pick maybe another lovely piece of whatever they've in there while you get the car and wait for me and the rest of the muffins to return." Sara smiled widely.

Sofia's eyes got small and she threw the car keys to Sara. "Get the car, I'll get the muffin before there's nothing left for later. I let a muffin monster in my house, I need to lock the cupboard with the sweets."

Sara laughed, took the keys, the leashes of the dogs and went to Sofia's car.

The blonde watched her for a second or two before she went into the bakery. With a smile she noticed half a dozen muffins still waiting for a new owner.

"Hi, I'd like to have your muffins. All of them because I'm bad in making decisions." She said to an elderly woman with a huge smile.

"Of course, Honey. I'll give you a little discount, they're not fresh anymore, I baked them around noon." The woman started to put the muffins in a bag. Sofia wondered if muffins, that were less than five hours old, weren't fresh for the woman, how did she describe the muffin she cold buy in a supermarket. Antique? Amazing. This seemed to be the perfect place for fresh pastries.

"Is that cheesecake over there?"

"It's cheesecake with mandarins inside, they make the cake fresher, tastes more like summer. Would you like a piece?"

"I'll take the rest of it, if the cake is as half as good as the muffins are, it will be to die for."

The woman laughed. "You won't eat all of those things alone right now, will you?"

"Not today. And I might share them."

"Do you also share triple chocolate mud cake?"

"No! But I take it!" Triple chocolate mud cake, Sofia felt like she had died and when she saw the little cake, she was sure, she was in heaven. She wanted this cake and if there was no space in her freezer, she'd eat it or throw anything else out. This cake was hers and she would take it home!

"Here you go, Honey. Anything else?"

"Two large coffees, please."

"You'll need more than two with all your cake and muffins."

"I can't eat them all today, but I'm sure, they won't get old. It feels like a pastry weekend, I've always been a fan of that."

"You can get fresh muffins tomorrow."

"I know and I'm sure I'll come along frequently, but it can't harm to have some muffins and cake in the freezer in case guests arrive – or I feel like muffins and cake what happens around ten times a day."

"You don't look like that."

"I will – or my dogs have to take for a walk more often. Anyway, it doesn't matter as long as there're cake and muffins."

"I put the rest of the carrot cake in the bag, so you'll have something healthy." The woman blinked at her.

"I give the healthy stuff to my friend, healthy food suits her more than me. Thank you very much." Sofia paid for all her pastry and was sure, she would be back here on Monday to get a fresh muffin and maybe some triple chocolate mud cake. Only a little detour and the bakery was on her way to the department and back.

"Did you buy everything or what took you so long?" Sara asked. She had turned off the car, rolled down the window and watched Sofia from the other side of the shop window.

"I bought a few more things, one is especially for you." Sofia placed the bag on the backseat. Fresh muffins twice on one day, that was a good day off. She had to do this more often. She might gain a few pounds, but she would be happy the whole time. A firm look at her dogs to make it clear to them, the bag wasn't for them. Maybe it was better to get it in front.

She had almost reached the door when a loud scream stopped her.

"I told you to hold it tight! You are too stupid for everything! Look what you've done!" A man stood over a little girl. In front of the girl was ice cream on the ground, some of the ice cream was also on her shirt and her shoes and she was crying.

"Now we've to clean all your clothes because you're a stupid, useless bitch!" He lifted his arm like he wanted to slap her.

"Hey, watch it!" Sofia called and stepped toward them.

"Mind your own business, slut!"

"It's Lieutenant slut for you. And if you touch that girl I'll lock you up."

"That's my daughter, you mind your own children and not mine. Get lost!"

Sofia wanted to call her colleagues and let them take the man in. The problem was, so far he hadn't done anything she could arrest him for. He had yelled but not touched her so far.

"You calm down or you'll find yourself in prison tonight."

"Fuck off!" He stepped on the ice cream, grabbed the girl not too hard but tight enough to drag her with him. Sofia made a fist a few times to calm herself. What a jerk. She wished she had a chance to do anything against this man.

"What an asshole, men like him shouldn't have child…Sara!" Her friend sat pale on the driver's seat, rocking back and forward, trembling. She reminded Sofia of the woman, she found in her room, before she lost conscious.


	19. Chapter 19

"Sara." She jumped almost over her car to get on the other side to reach Sara better. Not paying attention to the traffic, she opened the door. "Hey." Carefully she tried to take her friend in her arms, but it wasn't possible. Sara didn't stop rocking, she wore her seatbelt and didn't respond to Sofia.

"Sara, please…stop trembling." Sofia had no idea what to do. What did happen to Sara? She had been fine a few seconds ago, the whole day. Why did this happen? "It's alright, everything is alright. Sara? Come on, please…"

"What happened?"

Sofia had no idea from where doctor Weinberg appeared, frankly, she didn't care. She was only happy that there was somebody to help.

"I don't know. She was alright one moment and the next one I found her like this. Do something!" The woman was a doctor, she had to know what to do, what was right for Sara.

"Let's get her out of the car." Doctor Weinberg, who was on the other side, unbuckled the seatbelt and helped Sofia to get Sara out of the car. Together they carried Sara more than they guided her into the office of the doctor.

"Sara." Sofia pulled Sara down on the couch and pulled her in her arms, tried to stop the tremble this way. Her friend was ice cold and Sofia could feel the pulse running.

"She'll faint again, her pulse is running. Can't you do anything to soothe her?"

"I can't give her a pill, she won't swallow it. Can you hold her tight for a second?"

"Yes." At least Sofia hoped she could do that. She watched how the doctor got a syringe out of a little fridge. Sara wouldn't like that but they had to do anything to soothe her before she lost conscious again.

"Okay, hold her as tight as possible." Doctor Weinberg stepped next to them. "Sara, I'll give you something to soothe, try not to tremble. Relax. You're not at risk, you're safe."

"What are you giving her?"

"A light sedative. I doubt she'd appreciate it when we give her something stronger and I'm not a fan of soothing symptoms with medicine, I prefer to work on a solution that there won't be any bouts anymore."

Usually Sofia appreciated it when doctors didn't try to use medicine as a solution for everything, right now she felt more like she wanted anything that helped Sara to calm. She didn't want to think of her friend in hospital again.

"I think she calms down a bit." Sofia didn't want to let go of her friend. The trembling was less severe, Sara seemed to calm.

"It's a fast working sedative. Sara, can you hear me?"

There was no reaction. Sara's eyes were closed, she trembled, rocked, tears ran down her face and she held on to Sofia. The blonde wasn't sure if the other woman knew it was her or if she desperately tried to get hold on whatever was around.

"Lieutenant, can you tell me more preciously what happened?"

"We left the car here this morning to walk back with the dogs. Around five we were back, Sara wanted to get the car, I went into the bakery to get some muffins. When I came out, she teased me if I had bought the whole shop and when I want to get into the car, she was like you saw her too."

"Nothing happened in between?"

"No…There was a man, who yelled at his child for dropping the ice cream. I thought for a moment, he'd slap her, so I called at him to leave her alone. We exchanged a few sentences, he went on and I went into the car."

"Okay." Doctor Weinberg looked at Sara, thinking.

"Do you think that had something to do with Sara?"

"Why would you think so?"

"You're a psychologist, you read people by watching and listen to them to find out, what bothers them. I'm a lieutenant, I read people by watching and listening to them to find out, if they're guilty or not, lie to me or not. Don't try to treat me like a patient of yours."

Doctor Weinberg smiled a bit. "You and Sara, you're very much alike."

"I take that as a compliment. She reacted like this last week. Not as strong, but she was very jumpy, tensed. A slammed car door or a shooting out on the streets made her lose her grip for a moment, something I didn't see of her before. She had never been a scared person nor somebody who got nervous easily."

"Had there been a bang? Down on the road?"

"No…could it be the yelling man? The noise?"

"If it's simply noise, she'd show sings when there's loud music, cars, anything that's loud. Did you notice any of that?"

"No. She doesn't mind to walk around a high traffic road."

"When she lost conscious, what happened?"

"I wasn't there, all I saw was how she fell."

"Before."

"She made the decision to move in with Don and me. I wanted to get us some sparkling wine to celebrate, when I came home, she was trembling and lost conscious."

"Alright, now think as a lieutenant, like before when you said, you walked around the car and found her trembling. There had been something in between, do you have any idea what happened in between last weekend?"

"No, I…Don came home, called he was back and…that I was in trouble. I had parked my car in a way that always annoys him."

"An angry man again."

"He wasn't angry, he pretended to be angry."

"You knew that. But did Sara know that too?"

"Of course she…okay…she doesn't know Don that good, she had no idea of this running gag, it could be, that it sounded for her like he was mad and threatened me."

"We've an angry man last week and today."

"She has a trauma?"

"I can't tell you, but so far, it's the thing both occasions had in common. Sara?" Doctor Weinberg got down on her knees in front of Sara. "Sara, can you open your eyes, please?"

"No."

The sound of Sara's voice sounded strange to Sofia. It was full of fear.

"Nothing will happen, we're here to take care of you." Sofia said. "I've got you in my arms, nobody will do anything to you as long as you're with us. Come on, open your eyes, I promise it won't hurt."

"I can't. I don't want. I want to go home."

"In this condition I can't let you go. You look more like you need an ambulance."

"No!" Sara's eyes popped open. "No ambulance! No hospital! I'm fine. I.." She tried to get up, lost her balance and fell back. Sofia caught her, pulled her in her arms.

"Stay with me, get some more rest."

"What did happen?"

"You can't remember?" Doctor Weinberg asked. She was checking Sara's pulse, checked on the reactions of her eyes.

"Yes…no…Sofia?"

"I'm not sure, when I put the pastry on the backseat you were alright, when I got into the car, you were all shaken up. Your pulse was running and I had no idea what to do. Luckily doctor Weinberg came along, we got you up here."

"You closed your office for the day."

"Her mind's working, her pulse is alright and the reaction of her pupils normal. She's still pale."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here."

"Sorry, physically there's no reason for you not to leave."

"Great!"

"Your body." Doctor Weinberg pushed Sara down with one hand and not a lot effort when she tried to get up. "Is more than that and it's your mind that worries me."

"I'll be alright, I need some rest and that's it. And that means, I won't go into a hospital. There's nothing you can do to make me go there."

"I won't try it, I'd like to see you next week and if I try to talk you into a night in hospital you won't come back."

"Correct."

"Do you know why you have this bouts?"

"Too much stress."

"What kind of stress?"

"I got accused of being a drug dealer, I need a job and I ended up with a shrink, who doesn't want to let me go home."

"You got accused to be a drug dealer?"

"Yes, last week."

"And they're building up a case?"

"No. I'm not a drug dealer!"

"She was with a group of people, four of them had drugs with them, they smuggled it in from Costa Rica. Unfortunately SWAT had no idea who is involved, so Sara got taken in too. There are no charges, she was released the same day and she has nothing to do with drugs." Sofia took Sara's hand.

"Okay. Your shrink, who isn't a shrink, will let you go home, but she would appreciate it if you call her when something happens. Or when you call me." Doctor Weinberg looked at Sofia.

"Sure, no problem."

"Don't you have a weekend?" Sara grumbled. She didn't want the doctor to baby her.

"I do and usually you can't reach me during the weekend. But usually I don't have session after five and before nine. See yourself as somebody very special, Sara." She wrote something on her business card. "Lieutenant." The doctor handed Sofia her card. "My private cell phone number is on the back."

"I'll keep it and we'll only use it in case of an emergency. Thank you very much."

"You're welcome."

Sofia got up. "Can you get up alone or do you need a hand, Sara?"

"I'm fine." Sara got up, for a second, she was a little bit shaky, then she found her balance. "What did you give me to calm down, doc?"

"A mild but fast working sedative. We didn't want to risk that you lost conscious. If you want, I can give you something to be more relaxed, less tensed."

"I don't want to take medicine without a reason."

"It's homeopathic, no chemicals. Or you try some Saint John's wort. It will take a few days before it works but it will help you to be more relaxed and less stressed out. It doesn't have to be benzodiazepine."

"I'll think about it."

"Good. I'll see you on Monday if nothing happens."

"Nothing will happen. Thanks doc." Sara shook the hand of the doctor.

"You're welcome. I hope you understand and know, neither the Lieutenant nor I want to do anything that's bad for you. Even if you don't always agree on our ideas."

"I know."

"Good. Have a good weekend, Lieutenant."

"Thanks, I'll be back on duty tomorrow. Enjoy your time off before you've to work with this stubborn head again." Sofia grinned.

"Actually I enjoy working with her, take good care of my special patient."

"I will. And you work hard so your special patient will be able to live happy without you."

"We'll get her there."

"I'm still in the room, stop talking like that." Sara grumbled again.

"You're out of the room now." Sofia got her arm around Sara's waist, pulled her in and walked with her out of the office. "I'll get you home, we've some muffins to eat – in case they survived with the dogs alone in the car - and Don might have started the dinner already."

"Sounds good, better than anything else I've heard the last couple of minutes."

* * *

"Do you want to lay down for a while?"

"Are you kidding me?" Sara shot Sofia a look like she was nuts.

"I'm just…"

"Sofia, I'm fine." Sara got out of the car, opened the trunk to let the dogs out and walked to the house.

"You're bitchy, I guess that's a sign of that you're feeling better." Sofia took the bag with the pastry. Magically the dogs didn't touch it and everything was still there. The problem was, Sofia had lost her appetite.

She followed Sara in the house and found her with Don in the kitchen.

"Hey, did you bring dinner?" He greeted his housemate.

"No, more dessert. Muffins and cake."

"What's wrong?" Don didn't need many words to see, something was wrong with Sofia. He knew her well enough.

The blonde only looked at the other woman.

"Sara?" Don left the big spoon he was cooking with and walked to Sara.

"I'm fine."

"You weren't fine before?"

"I had a little…everybody makes more out of it then it was."

"What was it?"

"Nothing."

"I don't believe you but if you don't want me to know, it's alright."

"I had…I don't know how to call it, I lost time."

"I found her trembling in the car, almost like last week. Doctor Weinberg got her some sedative. We had to do something before she lost conscious again and needed an ambulance."

"Your therapist was there too?"

"It was in front of her office, at the bakery. She had just finished work."

"And started again when she saw you. Can I do anything for you?"

"Don't baby me."

"You? Never! I leave you with the dinner alone, stir it, I've to make a phone call." He gave her the spoon. "It's a spring soup."

"In summer time."

"Yes, I felt like soup today."

"It's full of vegetables, I like it."

"Good. There's some bread on the fridge, that needs to be put in the oven." Don hugged Sofia for a second and kissed her cheek.

"He cooks fresh soup, that's sexy." Sara grinned.

"Tell him, he'll be happy you think so and always remember, he's available."

"What happened to Santa Monica girl?"

"I don't know, he's been home every evening, I doubt Santa Monica girl was something serious. Maybe Las Vegas girl, also know as Venice lobster, is the one."

"No, she isn't. She has enough to do to get her own life back on the road and doesn't have time to work on a relationship. Beside, I'm a San Francisco girl and not a Vegas girl. That's your job."

"I was born in Vegas, yes."

"But?"

"No but."

"The sentence sounded like there was something more."

"No, I was born in Vegas and...shit." Sofia stick her left index finger in her mouth. The fact, that she had been cutting a carrot and tossed the knife away, told Sara, Sofia had cut herself.

"Get your finger out of the mouth and under water."

"Why?"

"Too many bacteria in your mouth. Where do you have a band-aid?"

"Lower shelf left side. I keep some here in cases like this." Sofia clenched her teeth when she put her finger under the water and it burnt. "Shit."

"Your knife is sharp." Sara made the decision by all the blood Sofia lost, she needed a bigger band-aid.

"Hand, please." She wrapped the finger in a tissue to dry it, put the band-aid on it and kissed the tip of the finger. "Everything will be alright soon."

"Don't baby me!"

"Now you know how it feels. Let me finish the carrot."

"I can do it."

"I know you can, the problem is, the cut looked deep, I'm afraid you'll need a fresh band-aid soon and we don't want our spring soup with red spots because your blood drops into our soup. You've to sit down, watch me finishing the soup and nurse your finger."

"That's the best evidence that I'm not made to be in the kitchen. And that fresh food is dangerous. This hadn't happened if we had cake and muffins for dinner. Or a pizza, called the delivery service."

"Sure, we'll eat nothing more than muffins and cake and in a few months you're not a sexy lieutenant anymore, but you're perfect if anybody needs some shade."

"You think I'm sexy!" Sofia grinned. Sara had said it. She was a sexy lieutenant right now. There was the proof.

"You're a Barbie for men, isn't Barbie the example for all little girls what sexy is?"

"Comparing me with Barbie isn't a nice thing, Sara."

"She's a fake, like you."

"One more word and I'll stab you with the carrot."

"She's plastic, you're dyed. Both not real. Also I've to say, I like you more, Barbie's muffins were all made of plastic."

"I won't share my muffins with you anymore."

"Sure you will." Sara threw the rest of the carrot in the soup, took a new band-aid, sat next to Sofia and took off the other band-aid. It was already covered in blood.

"Maybe you need stitches."

"No, I don't!"

"Okay." Sara put the new band-aid on. "Your blood seems to be very liquid, which is a good thing when you don't cut yourself. Do you have arnica?"

"Who?"

"Not who, what. It helps when you've little wounds, they heal faster when you take it."

"The only medicine I've got here is a package of pain killer."

"After my doctor suggests I should take medicine, we can go and buy a little medicine chest. Saint John's wort sounds better than the other things with a list of side effects that fills a book."

"The sedative she injected you worked good."

"Yes and it was alright for the moment. Another weekend in hospital isn't what I've got in mind. Nevertheless, it's nothing I want for every day."

"Understandable. Alright, we get you some nature medicine but I'll ask your doctor if she can give you a prescription for a mild sedative. As an emergency medicine in case something like today will happen again."

"You know how to give somebody an injection?"

"No, but the chance is bigger that there's somebody around, who knows how to do that than that there's anybody who knows how to do it and has a sedative in the pocket. I guess most people don't wander around with sedatives in their pockets."

"Depends on what you call a sedative, some are even naturally." Sara smiled. "Marijuana is a sedative."

"You take anything illegal and I'll get you back in the interrogation room, Miss Sidle. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Lieutenant."

"Good." Sofia took Sara's hand. "I'm glad you're alright, Sara and I'm really glad you're here."

"So we're two who are happy I'm not in hospital."

"I meant it in general, Sara. I'm glad you made the decision to move in with us. It's good to have you around."

"Thanks. I like it here, it's fun to be with you and Don. Most times."

"Most times in your words means always for everybody else." Sofia smirked.


	20. Chapter 20

**Part 10**

"Why don't you go home?" Don came into Sofia's office and closed the door. It was almost five, her usual time to go home. As far as he knew, she had no urgent case, no reason to stay here.

"I've to do some more work."

"No, you don't." He pulled her off the chair, dropped himself on it and pulled her on his lap. "What is wrong, Sofia?"

"Nothing."

"You're not a good liar." He kissed her cheek softly. "Not when you lie to me. We know each other since one year, I know you better than you think I do. Something is bothering you. Or someone. Why don't you tell me? I'm a good detective, I can help you out."

"I'm a lieutenant, I can help myself."

"I don't doubt that when it comes to police work. It's something else that makes these wonderful blue eyes blue."

"Don't flirt with me."

"I like flirting with beautiful women."

"I'm your boss."

"And you're my landlady. All these things don't change the fact that you're beautiful."

Sofia sighed, leant her head on his head. "Tell me, Don, why did we never have anything going on?"

"Because you told me, you're not into men."

"And you believed that? Accepted that?"

"Who am I to tell you anything else? You must know what you want."

"I want an easy life. A life, where everything is purple and full of joy and happiness."

"Sounds awful cliché. And makes us unemployed."

"But happy."

"Can I do anything to make you a little bit happier? Shall I take you out for a date?"

"No. What happened to Santa Monica girl?"

"Her name is Jess."

"Oh." Sofia knew not much about Don and his past. She knew a lot about his police work, but only a few things about his private life. Especially when it came to Jessica Angel, his former work partner and lover. Her death was the reason why Don came to Los Angeles, left his demons in New York.

"It has been over a year since she died, I've taken most pieces of my life back together, but I can't date somebody, who has her name. Every time I said her name, I thought of Angel and not Santa Monica girl."

"I'm so sorry, Honey." Sofia kissed his cheek, pulled him closer.

"Not your fault. Maybe I need a little bit more time. Who wants to date anyway? It only costs you money, you get your heart broken and you have trouble because a relationship and police work don't fit together."

"You think so?"

"How many police officers, who are in a happy long term relationship, do you know?"

"Well…" Sofia tried to count some example. "Some of our colleagues are married for many years."

"Some, most of them are divorced, in the second, third or whatever marriage or single. How close to a marriage have you ever been?"

"Uhm…never even close." She had never been engaged, had never been with somebody long enough to think about a marriage. "I don't blame it on the job."

"Not?"

"No, it never felt right."

"Do you want to get married?"

"I'm not sure. After all, a marriage isn't more than a promise for the government. It doesn't help you to stay together for the rest of your life. At the moment I'm far away from a marriage. I can't marry my Misses Right."

"No, you've to move to another state or change back to men."

"If I don't find the right woman I'll do that."

"Anybody close to be the one?"

"No."

"So you're sad blue eyes have nothing to do with a woman?"

Sofia sighed.

"Who is it?"

"I worry about Sara."

"Why? She had been alright the whole weekend, hasn't she?"

"Yes. But she had these bouts twice within a week, what if she'll get one again? So far we've no idea what triggers them. If it has anything to do with noise, she can get a bout everywhere. L.A. is a loud place."

"She never had them before?"

"I don't know. We haven't been close in Las Vegas. As far as I know, she didn't have a breakdown in Vegas. There weren't any signs of it when we worked together."

"Could it be that the incident on Monday was the trigger? When she got pulled out of her room? It's not the best way to wake up, it would confuse me and maybe throw me of the roads for a while."

"You mean, it threw her of the road so much that she has these bouts? I can't imagine that, there has to be more. I hope her therapist can help her."

"Is she good?"

"I'm a lieutenant not a psychologist, so I've no idea if she's good or not. She cares and she's there for Sara, let her come in twice a week even she has no free appointments available and she gave us her private cell phone number in case anything happened during the weekend. The most important thing is, she does something that makes Sara go to her. Their sessions must be special, I doubt Sara would go to an ordinary session, she mentioned something about being in therapy once and it was bad."

"They started with muffins and coffee, I call that a good start. Maybe I can have a session there too. Some people try to convince me to get some help since…Jess…died."

"You can ask her, but I'm afraid she won't take you as an emergency patient."

"I can wait a little bit longer, it's not like I try to ignore the problems for a while."

"You can talk to me whenever you want. I'm not a therapist, so I might not be able to give you the perfect advice, but I'm your friend, I'm a good listener and I'm there for you."

"Do you come into my bed when I've got a nightmare?"

"No therapist will do that, not if the therapist is a good one. But yes, Don, if you have a nightmare and don't want to be alone, I'd come into your bed, take you in my arms and hold you until you're asleep again. If you try to get your hands under my shirt, I'll cuff and castrate you." She grinned.

"I'm a gentleman."

"Most times, yes." She kissed him on the lips. "I love you, I can't imagine my life without you and I hope, whatever will happen to you or me, we'll stay in touch forever. But I could understand if you say at one point, you want to go back to New York."

"That might happen one day. At the moment I can't imagine it, but one day, yes. That means, we'll become frequent flyer and visit each other. You'll come over for New Years Eve, the huge Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center and I'll be here for the Oscar night and some beach fun in the summer. We'll have a barbeque with my wife and your Misses or Mister Right."

"Sounds like a good plan to me."

"It is a good plan and we should practice for it. Come on, lieutenant, leave your paperwork behind come home with me. We'll start the barbeque and when our new housemate is home, we can have dinner and some beer."

"Lets make a deal: you drive home, get the dogs here and I walk home with them. They need a walk anyway and I want to finish the report. Ten minutes."

"You've got twenty, I need more than ten minutes for the way. I want to see you outside when I'm back. If I have to go inside the department to get you, I'll do something very embarrassing like kissing you on your lips right in front of all colleagues. They'll start to talk and you'll get mad because of all the stupid talk."

"They never stopped talking about us. It can't be that you live with me and we've got nothing going on."

"We do have something going on, a really deep friendship. If they don't understand that, they're stupid. Twenty minutes, lieutenant." He got up, kissed her again and left with a little twinkle the office.

Sofia stared at the door for a few seconds. She was a lucky woman to have a man like Don around, to call him her friend. And she was serious when she said, she'd stay the night with him to soothe him. She could feel the pain when she saw him like that, when she knew, he thought of Jessica and suffered. And she felt so useless and helpless because there was nothing she could do to make it better or take the event back. She'd do anything to see him happy again.


	21. Chapter 21

"Sara?" Doctor Weinberg raised her voice only a little bit to get Sara out of her thoughts. She had stopped calling her Miss Sidle since Friday and Sara was fine with that. They talked about very private things of Sara's life and she felt strange to tell any person things to a person, who called her Miss Sidle.

"Sorry, I was…how do you psychologist call it? It's not disorientated."

"Dissociation."

"Yes. Why do you have so difficult words?"

"You mean, you prefer easy words like deoxyribonucleic acid?"

Sara laughed. "Okay, your point. I'm impressed you know the real name of DNA. But then, you're a doctor."

"I came across DNA during my university time, yes. Can you tell me where you've been before I called you back?"

"I thought about what you said. The connection between the event two weeks ago, the angry man and Don…it was a shock when they pulled me out of bed, but I had worse experience, as strange as it might sound."

"You think it sound strange when you say that?"

"Most people would think it was a terrible experience."

"You think else."

"No, but like I said, I had worse experience. Being trapped under a car in the desert during a thunderstorm, water running down the hill, you feel how it rises, you can't really move, know if you don't do anything, you'll drown because nobody knows where you are. That was worse. I never thought my life was in danger when they took me to the department, I feared for my life the whole time under the car."

"You want to tell me about how you ended under the car?"

Sara sighed. No, she didn't want to talk about this night, it was nothing she wanted to think about. Then again, she was here to talk about bad things, to get them out of her head, to have a chance to live free of them.

"We worked a case of a serial killer, maybe you heard of the miniature killer. A woman, who killed a few people in Vegas… Izzy Delancy?"

"The former rock star."

"Yes. He was her first victim. No, her first victim was her own sister when they both were children." Nathalie had pushed her sister off the tree house and killed her. Something they didn't know at that time, something a lot of people forgot, for Sara, it was Nathalie's first kill. "He was the first victim we had as a case. She left a perfectly half inch scale miniature of the murder scene in the kitchen, where she killed him, even used his blood to create the blood pool. Grissom, my boss, I was involved with, at that time, tracked down her foster father, who committed suicide before anybody could talk to him. She blamed him for her foster father's death, the only person, who ever loved her. To make him pay, she took me away, to make him suffer. Left me under the car to die. I was able to free myself, almost died when I broke down in the dessert, dehydrated." Sara stopped. She had been through this story so many times, with the police, with Grissom, most times alone with her herself. Every time it was hard, it scared her because she felt like she was right back under the car.

"There was a little smile in your face, just for a second."

"I just thought, Nick and Sofia found me there, she had been there for me, rescued me. Like Friday. Looks like she's good at that."

"Looks like. Something good."

"Yes. Anyway, that was worse than the SWAT team in my room."

"What happened after that event?"

"The relationship with Grissom became public, I left night shift, changed to swing shift so we had no problems with our boss. A few weeks later I left. I couldn't stand the violence anymore. It was like every day got worse, no matter what I did, the evil was everywhere, never stopped, not even hesitated. I wrote Grissom a letter that I was sorry, left, went to San Francisco to see my mother and started to go on excursions. Grissom, to whom I was engaged at that time, was supposed to come with me. In the end, he was never able to leave Las Vegas, to leave his work. We had been in love, he called me the only one he had ever loved, but the love wasn't stronger than the love or the need to be at his work. We split, it hurt, but I got over it. There are no bad feelings left, in fact, I'd like to see him when I go to Vegas to visit my colleagues."

"Leaving Vegas, starting a new life, helped you to get over the experience in the desert."

"Yes."

"Why are you in L.A. and not in San Francisco with your mother?"

"She is…" Sara stopped. Not a good topic. Not one she wanted to talk about. "We're not that close."

"You don't want to talk about her."

"No."

"Alright."

"Don't say it's alright, you're supposed to make me talk."

"To make you angry? Close up? No, I won't do that. I'll wait until you trust me enough to talk about her yourself. When you feel like talking about her, we can do that." Doctor Weinberg smiled a bit.

"You don't react the way you should as a psychologist."

"That's why you come to me."

"Yes. And because you gave me the muffins. We've frozen a dozen of them in case we want muffins and the bakery is closed or we're too lazy to go there. Sofia is addicted too. Don tries to pretend he doesn't care for muffins, but I saw him putting two in his bag for work."

"You and Sofia are friends for a long time?"

"No." They were friends since…yes, since when? One week? "No, we know each other for a couple of years, worked together in Vegas but we weren't friends."

"That has changed."

"Yes. Somehow. She came to me when I was in interrogation, never had a doubt that I wasn't innocence. She was there when I got the sunburn, she made sure I got lotion, she helped me because I couldn't reach my back, offered me a room to stay and she was there when I had the first bout. Somewhere on this way we became friends."

"You trust her."

"As guess I do. More than most people at least."

"It's not easy for you to trust people."

"No. But she saved my life twice, she can't be too bad, don't you think, doc?" Sara chuckled.

Doctor Weinberg smiled again. "I think she's good for you, she likes you, worries about you."

"She makes sure I come to you."

"A smart woman."

"A smug one too."

"There's a difference between being smug and being self-assured."

"Does she pay you to say that?"

"No and you know that. I'd like to ask you something that has to do with her, Sara."

"Okay."

"Could you consider Sofia as your safe person?"

"What is a safe person?"

"A person, you feel safe with. Somebody, you makes you go through different things easier or possible."

"Do you want me to get her here and hold my hand while we talk?" It was one thing for Sara to call Sofia a friend, it was something different to have the blonde here in her sessions and hear about all the things, that had happened to Sara.

"No. I wondered if she makes you feel safe in situations, you feel scared."

"If I'm not having a stupid bout I'm not scared." Sara said with a little bit of anger in her voice. She didn't want a babysitter, she was capable to handle her own life.

"Okay."

No, it wasn't okay, she wanted the psychologist to fight with her. Why was is impossible to fight with this person? That was annoying. Every time Sara thought, she was mad, had a reason to yell at doctor Weinberg, to tell her, therapy was stupid, the doctor agreed and took the anger away. That wasn't fair.

"I can't say I felt safe when I was in the car last Friday and Sofia was there." Sara continued a little bit calmer. "I didn't realized she was there until I was here in your office and you gave me the sedative."

"Can you remember anything of the event?"

"She got the pastry, was on her way to get into the car…the end."

"Sofia didn't tell you what happened?"

"No. She said, that's something we've to talk about. That she isn't a therapist. I felt like strangling her when she said that and refused to say a single word."

"Do you want me to tell you what happened after she put the pastry on the backseat?"

"Yes. Please."

"There was a man on the other side of the sidewalk, who yelled at his daughter because she dropped her ice cream. It looked for a moment like he was about to slap her, Sofia got his attention, made him understand that she'd send him to prison if he touches the child. They exchanged a few not nice words and he moved on. She got into the car and found you trembling… you look pale now, Sara. Sara?"

Sara could almost feel how the tremble started, she heard words, yelling at somebody. At her? She felt hands. In her face. Her head. Her upper body. Hands slapping her.

"Sara!"

The hands she felt now belonged to doctor Weinberg, who shook her, strong but without hurting her.

"Sorry. I was…somewhere else."

"You were at the event of Friday."

"No. Yes. No. I don't know. Fuck." She grabbed the chair to make her hands stop trembling. Why couldn't she control her own body? What was wrong with her that she lost it all the time? That had never happened before? Was she on the best way to lose it?

"Even if it's hard, try to relax, let your hands tremble. The more you try to fight it, the more you're tensed and it won't stop. Close your eyes."

"I want this to stop."

"It will. Close your eyes, lean back."

Sara tried again to stop her hands before she did what she was told.

"Close your mouth, take a deep breath through your nose and try to keep the air in your stomach for five seconds."

She felt the hands of the doctor on her temples, starting to move them around in little circles with low pressure. Slowly she inhaled, felt like the air arrived in her stomach and held it.

"And now exhale. Slowly and through your mouth until you feel like there's no air left. Then start to inhale again the same way like before."

Sara did like she was told. She felt like wringed something out when she made sure, there was no air left in her stomach. Trying not to gasp for air, she inhaled again slowly. Meanwhile doctor Weinberg didn't stop her massage to Sara's temples. She repeated this exercise three more times when doctor Weinberg stopped the massage.

"That's alright, you can open your eyes again." She sat back on her chair.

Sara looked at her hands. They laid steady on her lap, comfortable and didn't tremble. Like nothing had happened.

"It worked."

"You are full of tensions, Sara. When did you have the last massage?"

"Never?"

"A massage is a good way to relax, you might want to have one once a week. Do you do any exercise?"

"No, nothing regular. I walk with the dogs."

"If possible try to fit some exercise in your morning schedule, best before you go to work or start with the day. That makes you more relaxed."

"Okay, I can do that. A morning jogging tour around the reservoir."

"That would be perfect."

"But it won't stop these bouts."

"No, but it might make them less severe. Something of the Friday event, something that has something to do with the man yelling at his child, makes you feel scared."

"I don't know why. He yelled at the child, he didn't notice me. It wasn't about me, not my business."

"And yet it got into you."

"Apparently. You're the psychologist, tell me why."

"I can't tell you why, Sara."

"Why not?"

"Because the reason for that is something, you haven't told me yet. I can only guess and make conclusions when you tell me about you and your past."

"There must some kind of associations you have for things like that."

"I wouldn't help you if I start to make guesses. The opposite, it would be bad. A therapist, who puts pictures in the head of her client, is a danger for the client or even the society."

"So I've to figure it out alone. Why am I here then?"

"I can help you to figure it out when you talk to me, I can support you by working things out, getting through things."

"I'll end up in a loony bin."

"Why should end up there?"

"I'm crazy."

"No, you're not."

"I am. You just saw it. And you want a reason for it? I inherited it!" Sara jumped up and left the room before doctor Weinberg could stop her. She had to get out of here! She needed some fresh air! She needed…anything but not this! She had to leave. Fast. Far, far away. Before she lost it all.


	22. Chapter 22

The second beer and Sofia started to relax a bit. The walk with the dogs had been exactly what she needed and the cold beer Don handed her when she arrived home, did the rest. Now, with a steak and some salad on her plate, a second bottle of beer next to her, she felt like she was home, could relax.

Her cell phone rang.

"This is Sofia, I'm having dinner and I don't want to talk now. Call later before the food gets cold and the beer warm." Not the best way to answer the phone but exactly what she felt right now.

"It's doctor Weinberg, I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner, lieutenant."

"Doctor!" Immediately the food and beer were forgotten. It couldn't be good when the psychologist called her. A short look at her watch told Sofia, Sara had been due to be back an hour ago. The blonde had assumed, Sara was with her therapist, that they talked about the Friday incident and needed some more time.

"What happened?"

"I was wondering if Miss Sidle is back home."

"No. Isn't she with you?"

"She left over an hour ago."

"What did happen? Something did happen, that's why you call. She didn't just leave, did she?"

"No, she stormed out of the office. She had another bout."

"Shit."

"Is it possible that she walks home?"

"If she does and uses the straight way, she should be here. Plus the fact, she has my car, it takes her less than ten minutes to be back home."

"Your car is still parked in front of my office."

"Did she say anything about where she wanted to go?"

"No."

"Anything else? What did she say last?"

"I can't tell you that, but it has nothing to do with where she could have walked to."

"Your professional discretion doesn't help me, doc."

"I'm sorry."

"In what state was she when she left?"

"She was out of the bout, not in a state that I'd say, we've to worry that she might do something stupid, but she wasn't fine, that's why I called."

"I'll look for her, take the bike to your office. If I don't find her on my way there, I'll put her on broadcast and let my colleagues look for her."

"Can you let me know when you found her?"

"Sure. Thanks for the call, doctor."

"You're welcome."

Sofia ended the call.

"What happened to Sara?" Don sat next to Sofia, he had heard most of the conversation.

"She has vanished. I'll take the bike, go back to the office. If she wanders around, I might see her. If not, I'll put her on broadcast."

"I'll join you."

"No, stay here in case she gets home."

"Did the doctor tell you what happened?"

"No, damn professional discretion. I swear, if she did anything that upset Sara and anything happens to her, I'll make the doctor pay." Sofia got up, got her bike out of the garage and started to drive down the hill. Her eyes on the street, she had problems to get her head clean, to concentrate at least a little bit on the street and the traffic.

Where could Sara be? Why did she run? To where? She stopped. The straight way to the doctor's office was the left road, the right was to the reservoir. She knew, Sara liked the reservoir, maybe she had taken a detour to walk around the reservoir. Sofia turned right and started to cycle around the reservoir. There were a lot of people walking, jogging and cycling, it was the perfect evening for some sport and this was the best place in Silver Lake if you wanted to be active. Couples, families, teens, seniors, all were here. No Sara.

Sofia stopped at the dog park. Again, no Sara. She looked for a familiar face, somebody she had talked to while Sara was with her, somebody she could ask for the brunette. There were two people she knew, but they didn't know Sara. She went on to the office of doctor Weinberg to find her car parked a few doors down. No sign of Sara here.

What now? Where could she go to? Which places did she know? None. She had been to L.A. two weeks, there weren't any spots, she went to on a regular base. The doctor's office, Sofia's house, the reservoir…the motel! Could she be back to the motel? She didn't have a room there anymore, but it was the only place Sofia could think of, where Sara might have walked to. If the brunette didn't feel like seeing anybody tonight, it was the best place for her to get some silence. A room for the night, some quiet time.

Sofia cycled to the motel, entered the reception area and took a deep breath. She was sweating, her hair was a mess and had some oil on her left leg.

"Lieutenant, what can I do for you? Did they send you to the bike cops?" The woman, who had warned Sara that Sofia was on her way to see the brunette, was at reception.

"Guess whom I want to see."

"I'm a receptionist not a psychic."

"Funny. I don't feel like jokes. Is she here?"

"Who?"

"Miss Sidle! Who else? You know I'm looking for her."

"You're free to check the book, there's no Miss Sidle in the rooms." The woman gave Sofia the reservation book.

"If she comes here, give me a call." Sofia wrote her cell phone number on a piece of paper.

"You didn't even check the book."

"I hope for your own best, you don't lie to me." She turned to leave.

"Of course not. Maybe you want to ask our guests."

"Why would I do that?" Sofia stopped. This offer sounded strange. Why would some tourists know where Sara was? If Sofia had a photos of the brunette with her, she could show it around, but without that, there was no reason to ask the guests of the motel.

"Maybe one of them knows her, knows where she is, has seen her."

"Why?" Why would one of the guests know anything about Sara? Something about this offer was wrong.

"Like I said, I'm not a psychic, but the guest in room seventeen might be one."

"You think, a psychic will tell me where Miss Sidle is?"

"Give it a try. Miss Grissom seemed to know her business very good."

"Miss Grissom?" Sofia stared at the receptionist. Was it possible that Sara used a faked name to get a room? Why? The receptionist knew her, she knew, she wasn't Miss Grissom.

"Room seventeen?"

"Yes lieutenant."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Take a key, I don't think she'll open the door."

"How does she look?"

"I assume you're not asking for the color of her hair…not good. She looks like she can use a friend."

"Okay." She walked to the room, knocked. When Sara didn't open the door, she used her key. The room was kept dark, but in the sunlight, that came in the room when Sofia opened the door, she saw Sara on the bed.

"Get away, Sofia." The brunette said without lifting her head and looking.

"No."

"I want to be alone."

"I don't want you to be alone."

"I'm an adult, I can make my own decision where I am and what I do."

"Yes you can. I'm your friend, that gives me no right to tell you what to do, but I worry about you. So why don't we find a compromise, that makes both of us – well not happy – but maybe we can agree on it."

"Like what?"

"Like you come home with me and I'll leave you alone in your room, wait until you feel like talking to me."

"What's the difference between alone here and there?"

"There you're closer, I feel better when you're close to me. And there're people, who care for you, who'll be there if you want to talk."

"I don't want to talk."

"Fair enough, you stay in your room. Just don't stay here alone. Please." Sofia sat on the edge of the bed.

Sara was quiet, her eyes were closed.

Carefully Sofia touched the hand of the brunette. "Please."

"Maybe it wasn't a good idea to move in together."

"Why?"

"Maybe I belong somewhere else."

"Like where?"

"Somewhere…locked up…far, far away…"

"I think, you don't belong in this room, but you do belong in your room in the house. With an open door, you can leave whenever you feel like it. I can't see any reason to lock you up."

"You don't know me."

"We can change that, come with me and get me to know you."

"Why?"

"Well, that's what friends are for. Talk, spend time together, be there for each other, get to know each other."

"You're a pain in the ass."

Sofia smiled. That sounded better than anything else she had heard of Sara while they were here in the room. That sentence actually sounded like Sara.

"If I'm a pain in your ass, at least I'm in a very sexy ass."

"I told you not to hit on me."

"You started to talk about your ass, I only mentioned, it's a nice one. Your legs aren't that bad either."

"Shut up!"

"My favorite part is still this wonderful smile of you. Adorable. I guess, this smile can make all icebergs melt."

"Stop that!"

"This bitchy sound is kind of sexy too…ouch…" Sofia pulled her hand back when Sara pinched her. "That was so baby like, Sara. Like a kindergarten girl in pink skirt and those awful dancing shoes…"

"Don't make me hurt you!"

"You will never hurt me, I'm sure of that. Save yourself the time and energy to pretend anything else." Sofia bent down and pulled Sara in her arms, what made her end up next to the brunette on the bed. She felt how Sara wanted to fight her, but gave in and let Sofia hold her. For a minute or so they stayed like that, none of them saying a word before Sofia whispered.

"You don't have to talk to me, but please don't stay here, come with me. We'll give you all the time you need, all the space you want, but don't stay here. You belong to us, Sara. I know you live since only one week with us, but neither Don nor I can imagine the house without you and we both worry about. Don't let us hang there. Please."

"I left your car at doctor Weinberg's office."

"I know, I'm here by bike and went to the doc's office before. She called me to ask if you're home. She worries too."

"Did you tell her I wasn't there?"

"Yes. And I promised her to call her when I found you."

"How do we get back home? You want me to sit on your handle bar?"

"No, I thought of we walk back or call Don to pick us up. Whatever suits you best."

"A walk. Even if that means, I'll waste my money because I've paid for the room."

"Maybe they'll give you a refund."

"I doubt that. But I've to tell the receptionist off, she told you I'm here."

"No, she said, Miss Grissom is here."

"I should have used another name, it was stupid to take that one."

"It was stupid not to come home."

"Made perfect sense for me."

"We'll work on your sense another time. Lets go home, there's some salad waiting for you. And fresh bread."

"You can't always lure me there with food."

"Not?" Sofia giggled. "There are muffins and I might give you a piece of triple chocolate mud cake."

"With cream?"

"As much as you want."

"Lets go home!" Sara got up, took Sofia's hand and pulled her off the bed. Before the blonde could make a step, she had Sara in her arms. "Thanks Sofia."

"It was my pleasure. I like to play hide and seek, always have, but the next time, you tell me that we're playing and don't wait until somebody else tells me. Deal?"

"Deal." Sara had to laugh a bit.

* * *

"There she is." Don jumped up and hugged Sara. "Don't you ever dare to scare me that much. Not coming home, having a doctor calling you're gone. We worry about you, you can't do that to us."

"Sorry."

"Promise it won't happen again and everything is alright."

"I won't happen again."

"Good." He pulled Sara in again. "You can't let me alone with her, I need you here."

"Since when aren't you capable to handle Sofia anymore?"

"Look at me, I'm a houseman, that's not my nature. She holds me here, like a prisoner, to cook and clean while she's out, chasing beautiful women. I should do that while she stays at home."

"She hurts your ego?"

"Yes."

"Poor baby. Still you stay to with her."

"I'm in her spell. You are the only one who can help me."

"How?"

"You know her better than I do."

"You're talking nuts, Don." Sofia came out in the garden to join them. "Maybe I should have told doctor Weinberg that Sara is back home but we've another emergency here."

"Does she look good?"

"She has muffins."

"She looks gorgeous." Sofia smiled. "I'd fall for her if she was something else than a shrink. The thought of being with somebody, who reads your mind, knows all the time what you're up to and analyzed every little thing you do, is scary."

"I can live with that, all women seem to do that."

"Because you men are all the same. Too easy to please."

"While it's impossible to please a woman."

"Not impossible, it's a challenge. A challenge, you have to fight for and most men don't like to fight for something they can have anywhere else easier."

"Don't make it sound like we all want nothing else than sex."

"Beer and sport."

"Sounds good to me."

"Lucky for us women, there are some men, who aren't like that." Sofia pushed Don on a chair and sat on his lap. "I've one of them here. My lovely houseman."

"Yeah, tease me."

"A little bit. Sara, do you want to join us for dinner or do you want to be alone?"

"No annoying questions why you ran and what happened, promise." Don said before Sara could answer.

"Okay, I'll stay with you. If I get a beer."

"Sure." Don got up, carrying Sofia on his arms to get Sara a beer.

"He's playing superman." Sara laughed at the sight of the two.

"You mean, he's King Kong, carrying away the blonde woman." Sofia corrected.

"If he starts to climb up the house with you on his arm, you're right."

"I won't, I like the superman example. Your beer, my dear." He gave Sara a beer. "If you want, I can carry you too."

"No, thanks, I've two feet, I can use them."

"You just destroyed his hope to get closer to you." Sofia giggled. "Now he has to stick with me. But after we made plans to stay together for the rest of our lives, it's alright."

"Sounds like a wedding promise."

"No, more a friendship promise. That means, if he wants to go back to New York one day, we'll have a place to stay there. Sara, have you ever been to New York?"

"Once, for a long weekend, that included a forensic seminar."

"See, you can go back there and stay at Don's place; if you don't mind his wife and a couple of kids running around."

"Who's the lucky wife?"

"We're working on that." Don kissed Sofia's cheek. "Unfor-tunately this woman won't be the wife, but if I meet the right one, I'll know it and let you know."

"Oh Don, we'll know before you know." Sofia smiled and placed her head on his shoulders. "And there will be somebody, who'll make you happy and forget." She whispered in his ears. She knew, no matter how often he talked about finding a woman, deep inside he was still connected to Jessica and at the some moments, like in the afternoon, he realizes that too and talks about it. But she was happy, he wanted to move on, that he tried to start a new life. It could take him a little bit until he was really over everything, that had happened in New York, but he tried. That was worth a lot.


	23. Chapter 23

**Part 11**

When a shift ended exactly at the time you expected it to end in the morning, it was a good day. That was Sofia's thought when she left the department this Wednesday late afternoon, got into her car and drove home. Home on time. Time for a walk with her dogs and a movie later. Or she could finally go back to her volleyball group, she hadn't visited in ages.

"Hey." She hugged Sara, who was in the garden, reading a book.

"Hey yourself, you managed to finish work on time."

"Yes, I did. That feels so good. A whole free evening. I'm a little bit overstrained with that: shall I take the dogs for a long walk, go to volleyball, stay home, watch a movie and go to bed early or anything else? Cinema? A club? Restaurant? I've no ideas, there're so many possibilities, how can I pick the right one?"

"What do you feel like?"

"Everything!"

"Okay, I can tell you, I took the dogs out for a three hours walk this afternoon, we're back since half an hour. I think, they're fine for today. One thing less you've to consider."

"You did the same yesterday."

"And I'll do the same tomorrow. I enjoy the walks with the dogs and they seemed to enjoy time with me."

"They do. You take them out for a run in the morning and walk for hours with them in the afternoon."

"My therapist suggest me to do some exercise."

"Smart woman. Does it work?"

"I feel good, yes. So, what's your pick for tonight? What's the thing you want to do most?"

"That has something to do with you."

"With me?" Sara looked surprised.

"Yes. I'd like to play with you basketball, a one on one match until we're both covered in sweat, I've beaten you by forty points, so that we can take a shower and go out for dinner. Lets treat ourselves like queens."

"Basketball and dinner?"

"And a shower."

"You want to take that shower with me, Sofia?"

"Well." Sofia cocked her head. "I'm sure I had worse company under the shower, but if you're too pansy to take a shower with me, you can have one alone and we meet for dinner."

"If that's your way to pick-up women, I'm not surprised you're single." Sara got up.

"What?"

"You understood me, lieutenant."

"That isn't my pick-up line, I don't have a pick-up line."

"Sure." Sara walked towards the house.

"Where are you going to?"

"I've to change for a basketball game. Some Doña Juana de Marcia wants some exercise and I hope, when she uses all her power during the game, she won't try to hit on me anymore. Her pick-up lines are too cheap to be funny or successful."

"Doña Juana de Marcia? Wait until I've you on the field, Miss Sidle."

"You won't have me on the field or anywhere else, lieutenant."

"We'll see about that, Sara."

"No we won't because there won't be anything to see."

"Five minutes and I'll kick your ass."

"You won't come close to my ass."

"Go and change into something sexy and short, I'd like to see as much as possible of you when I show you what losing means."

"So smug, so many words, I wonder if you're worth the words or if they're only hot air." Sara entered the house.

"You'll see." Sofia smiled. A basketball match against Sara was better than volleyball. She had missed out too many sessions anyway and was out of the team. She could use the time to practice for the next match with Don, Kyle and Lynn. There was an open bill.

* * *

"I screwed you." Sofia leant back and grinned. They went to a little Italian restaurant after their game and a shower. "In a manner of speaking."

"Twenty points, Sofia, not forty. You didn't get to your goal – so you didn't screw me. It will remain a dream of you; in any sort."

"You've no idea about my dreams, Sara."

"And I don't want to hear them."

"Fact is, I won. It's a pity we didn't bet."

"What would have been your bet?"

"You take that shower with me."

"I wouldn't have agreed on that."

"Coward."

"You won't get me by offending me." Sara smiled. Yes, she had lost the game, she had never thought she'd win. Basketball had never been her sport, she had played it a few times in high school and that was it. She had enjoyed the game today, it had been good fun and a great workout, the best thing you could before you went for dinner. Now she was really hungry.

"Who says I want you, Sara?"

"Your really bad pick-up lines."

"Maybe you imagine my words as pick up lines because you want me to pick you up. Do you want to have a date with me, Sara?"

"Sofia, it was your idea that I move in with you and Don, it was your idea to go here for dinner, I did nothing that indicated, I want to be with you, spend time with you."

"You did."

"What?"

"You agreed on all my ideas. You live in my house, you're here with me. You want to be with me, Sara."

"A cheap way of living."

"Uh-hum." Sofia smiled more. It didn't matter how much Sara denied it, she liked to be with her. She liked Sofia. That was the reason why she stayed with her, that was the reason why Sofia got her out of the motel and back home.

"Don't look so smug."

"I'm not smug, I'm right."

"Arrogant."

"Who offends whom?"

"I'm not offending, I'm right." Sara shot back dryly.

"Sure. You know, if you would say these words without that cute smile of you, I'd be mad. So plus the fact that I know you, I'm relaxed and don't take it personal."

"Bite me."

"I might do that if I don't get my pasta, my sweet little dessert."

"You stay on your chair, on your side of the table, away from me or you'll get my wine in your face."

"I like it when you show some claws."

"Careful, lieutenant, don't overdo it."

"Never." Sofia took a sip of her red wine. "We need to find a man for you, Sara."

"What?" Sara almost spilled her wine. How did Sofia end up with that conclusion?

"I mean for basketball, not as a lover. You've got talent, it would be nice if you join our matches and for that, you need a male partner to play."

"Maybe I don't want to play."

"You looked like you enjoyed it."

"Maybe."

"You did. That's why we need a man for you, to enter the competition."

"Maybe we can use one of your great pick up lines to get one."

"Very funny, Sara." Sofia made a grimace. "I told you, I don't have a pick-up line."

"And I still don't believe that."

"Well, that's your problem. A pick-up line. Why should I have a pick-up line?"

"To pick-up some women?"

"Sure, they're all around the house every night. You can barely leave your room without stepping on their toes. I've got at least a dozen per night."

"Maybe that's why you don't come home on time. Your so called overtime is nothing more than some fun in a cheap motel room."

"You think I'm a player?"

"Do you want an honest answer?"

"Yes. And I know you should only ask for an honest answer if you can handle the answer, no matter what it is."

"True."

"So?"

"No."

"Thanks."

"I think you're a sensitive woman."

"Not the best thing to be when you're a lieutenant."

"You're also a very good lieutenant."

"Don't be too nice, that disturbs me."

Sara laughed a bit, placed her hand on Sofia's. "It's good to be here with you, Sofia. But allow me the question where Don is. Shouldn't he be here too?"

"Don is working some overtime, he needs to get some cases off his desk before he can take a few days off to fly to New York."

"Wow. Back to the roots."

"Back to see some old friends for a short holiday."

"Back to some unfinished business."

"Don't we all have unfinished business at our old work places?"

"Do we? What is your unfinished business in Vegas?"

"I haven't kicked Ecklie's ass yet."

"You want to kick his ass?"

"He took away my job, I was acting supervisor, I deserved the job as the dayshift supervisor and only because I didn't kiss his ass and gave him what he needed to get rid off Grissom, he demoted me."

"True, want somebody to distract him so you can kick him better?"

"You and me against Ecklie? He has no chance against superwoman and wonder woman."

"I'm sure we'll find some more people who'd like to kick his ass."

"Probably. Is he your unfinished business too?" If they were talking about unfinished business in former jobs, Sofia was sure, she could ask Sara about her unfinished business too.

"No. Ecklie isn't worth going back to Vegas, I prefer to go there for a good reason."

"Greg."

"Yes. I miss him, it would be great to see him again."

"Did you call him?"

"Not for a few weeks."

"Why don't you call him? Ask him to come over, spend some time with him before you've to work."

Sara smiled. "He needs to hurry then."

"What?"

"That reminds me, I'll pay the check."

"I invited you…you didn't answer my question!"

"You were faster than I was. I had the same idea for us tonight …together with Don."

"Sara, tell me about your job! And please, please don't say - I mean you said you don't care if it is so – you will work in a fast food restaurant. Please tell me, you don't waste your talent by turning burgers and frying French fries. To be honest I'd prefer not to get any rent money of you than seeing you in such a place."

"You want to let me stay at your place for free? You're sweet." Sara smiled and stroke shortly Sofia's hand. "But don't worry, I don't waste my talent by selling fast food, I'll waste my talent as a ranger for the Angeles National Forest."

"You'll be a ranger?"

"Yes. They called today, I can start next month. Two more weeks of doing nothing before I'll be back in work business."

"That was your favorite job of the ones you applied to. One of the few that aren't a waste of your talents. Congratulation, Sara." Sofia hugged Sara and kissed her cheek. "I hope, you'll be happy with that job."

"I hope so too. I've to learn a lot, bought some books today to learn about the park, animals, flowers, trees and everything else. And, figure this, I'll get a uniform. If you put yours on, we can both walk around in uniforms. They'll make us sexy."

"Didn't I tell you you're already sexy? Don't you listen to my not existing pick-up lines?" Sofia chuckled.

"No."

"It sounds like that. You'll be a ranger. You'll be outside the whole time, spend a lot of time in the forest, watching animals, talking to tourists and locals about the forest and will be far away from the crimes in L.A.."

"That's what I hope. Unfortunately we both know, a killer doesn't mind to drop his vic in the forest, it's the perfect place to dispose a body."

"Yes. And if you find one, I don't have to worry that you'll disturb the scene. You can start processing it before the police arrives."

"Rangers don't process crime scenes."

"You're a special ranger. A ranger, I might call for back-up help if I need somebody I trust."

"With your trees and flowers?"

"With everything, including my life."

"I owe you saving your life twice."

"Why's that?"

"You did the same to me. First in the desert where you and Nick found me then last Friday in the car."

"Your life was not at risk in the car."

"You never know. If could have tried to drive the car, to get away from whatever got into me and I wasn't in a condition to drive a vehicle."

"And in the desert, Nick saw your mirror light, I was only the driver."

"It was your idea to get to the other side of the area, you took him with you."

"Okay, you want to pin your rescue on me, I'm fine with that, but you don't owe me anything Sara. I did my job, I did, what you do for the people you work with."

"It all gets us to, you saved my life."

"And you want to kiss me for that?"


	24. Chapter 24

"I didn't say that." Sara laughed.

"Bummer."

"You'd flush if I kiss you, spill your wine and choke on your food."

"Don't give yourself too much credit, Sara. Your influence on my life isn't that big."

"Of course not." Sara smirked.

"Stop that!"

"Getting nervous?"

"No, but hungry."

"I can see the waiter with two plates and he's on his way to us. Your dream will come true, you'll get some food."

They ate in silence, enjoying the ambience and their food, their company without words. Sofia had to admit to herself, she was happy and couldn't find any dark spot in her life right now. She had a job she liked, she owned a house, which she adored, had two lovely dogs, two people living with her, who she called friends and her dinner was perfect. All the things that were missing, she would like to be different, were out of her hands, things, she couldn't change. Accepting this, made it easier to live with them.

"Will you come with me to have a look for a car?" Sara asked when they finished their food.

"I'm sure you don't need me for that, you know enough about cars yourself, but yes, I'll come with you. I told you I'd do that."

"Four eyes see more than two and you know a lot about cars too."

"True. We'll go car shopping, nice. Got something special on your mind?"

"Like I said, I'd like to have a four wheel drive, that's not too big so I can use it in the city too and get a place to park it."

"Color?"

"I don't care about the color."

"Oh come on, the color is important too. Black is mystic and sexy, red is sexy and hot."

"What's pink?"

"Gay and the best prevention that somebody will steal it. I mean, the first thing you've to do with a stolen pink car is get another color on it or dismantle it in million pieces."

"Sounds like a good color, I don't want my car to be stolen."

"Pink isn't your color."

"Not?"

"No."

"What is my color in your opinion?"

"Black and every nature color like brown, beige. Also a deep blue like the blue of the ocean suits you."

"Talking about blue, your and Don's eyes have the same blue, really nice."

"You noticed my eyes."

"And his, so don't get too excited, Barbie."

"You could be my Ken, but you don't have enough muscles and not such a shiny white smile. Lucky for you, this is L.A., you get both within no time. Just call one of the million doctors and they'll fix that."

"You think I need plastic surgery?"

"Only if you want to look like Ken. To be honest, I prefer when you don't look like him, I like you the way you are much more. Cutie."

"Another pick-up line that doesn't work."

"Believe me, if I had a pick-up line, it would work."

"Sure thing, lieutenant."

"Stop making fun of me."

"Make me stop."

"Don't dare me."

"I can dare you as much as I want because there's nothing you'll do to stop me."

"Don't feel too safe, Miss Sidle."

"Do you want some dessert? Another glass of wine." The waiter was back.

"I take the sundae and a coffee, thanks." Sara answered.

"Same here. The coffee with milk and one sugar, please."

"Very well, ladies."

"I need to cut down the sweets, all the muffins and the cake, I put on a pound already." Sofia complained.

"Did you enjoy eating all these things?"

"Of course I did, that's why I ate them."

"Then it's nothing bad. Nobody sees this pound anyway."

"Thanks. Nevertheless, from tomorrow on, I'll eat less pastry and sweets and more healthy things…dark chocolate is healthy, isn't it?"

Sara started laughing. "Compared to the other kinds of chocolate, plain dark chocolate is healthy, yes."

"Good."

"Sofia, can I ask you something?"

The serious sound in Sara's voice stopped Sofia from giving her a teasing answer. This was something serious, something Sara probably had needed some time to start the topic.

"Of course."

"Doctor Weinberg suggested something when I was in therapy the last time…something about you. I told her a bit about our relationship, that it wasn't always good, but that you are…we became friends within the last two weeks and I told her, you saved my life twice. She asked me, if I feel safe when you're around, like when I was in the car and you tried to get me out of there, to calm me. Honestly, I can't remember that I noticed you were around, I can't remember anything from the time you put the pastry on the backseat to when I was in the office and she asked me to open my eyes.

I doubt anybody or anything can get me straight out of these bouts when I have them, I mean, she gave me the sedative and it took a few moments before I was back. But you were right, I was…easily scared the last couple of days. I've no idea why, I didn't have that before. What I know is, I feel better when you're around. I don't flinch this much when you're around, don't get scared that easily. The doctor asked me, if I can imagine you as my safe person."

"What is a safe person?"

"Apparently somebody you can turn to when you feel the fear is getting bigger, somebody you feel safe with, who can help you to overcome situations, that scares you. The problem is, I've no idea what triggers the bouts, I don't know of what I need protection of. I hope I'll find out soon."

"You'll continue to go to therapy?" Sofia hadn't ask Sara what happened, hadn't talk with her about whether she wanted to stop therapy or continue.

"I feel awful stupid for storming out of the office, that doctor Weinberg worried, called you and it would be easy to stay away, but that won't help me. So yes, I'll go to therapy on Friday morning – if the doctor still wants to see me."

"She said on the phone, she looks forward to see you again. She doesn't kick you out of therapy only because you stormed out of her office. I'm sure she had that experience a few times before."

"Maybe. I'm a difficult patient, don't you think?"

"I don't think any patient is an easy patient, no matter what the diagnosis is."

"They're all a pain in the ass, true. Anyway." Sara paused because the waiter brought them their sundaes and coffees and continued when he was gone again. "She wanted to know, if I can consider you as my safe person. I haven't really worked out, what a safe person can do in my case, because I don't know why I lose it, but if it comes to trust, I can't think of anybody right now, I trust more than I trust you, Sofia. So yes, I can imagine you as my safe person, whatever that means. In general. To you."

Sofia slipped on her seat a little bit more to the left to be right next to Sara, took her in her arms and held her there for a few seconds.

"Thanks." She whispered. "What that means in general I've no idea, your doc needs to explain that to you. What it means to me is easy to explain: more than you can imagine it does. I know you're a person, who doesn't trust other people easily, who is suspicious and to hear, that I'm the person, you trust most, means a lot to me. It means, you're serious that we're friends."

"I am. Even if it's a little scary and strange. Okay, we know each other for a few years, but we have never been close."

"Not a reason not to change that now, don't you think?"

"Maybe. Your sundae melts, Sofia."

"I don't care, I've got something better than a sundae. I've a special friend."

"A friend, who'll slap you if you don't let her go now. People stare at us."

"I can arrest them if you want."

"No, I want to finish our dinner like people expect us to do."

"Bo-ring." Sofia let go of Sara and slipped back to her old place. This was not only a good day, this was a good evening. Sara had just made her the biggest and best compliment, she could possible give her. She trusted her.

* * *

"That's so typical women, the man is working his ass to the bone and the women go out, have fun and come home late." Don greeted Sara and Sofia when they came home. He was in the living room, watching some TV and eating potato chips.

"That's so typical man, sits in front of the TV, eats potato chips while there's a mountain of clothes, almost as big as the Mount Everest, waiting to be ironed." Sofia answered amused, her arm casually around Sara's waist.

"I deserve my potato chips and beer."

"And we deserved our dinner out."

"Why?"

"Well, I had to celebrate my grandiose win over Sara. We had a basketball match and I won by twenty points while she has her own reason to celebrate."

"Yes, I won't be the lazy one in the house anymore, I've got a job."

"Really? Great." Don got up, hugged Sara and lifted her up a little bit. "I told you, people can't resist you for a long time. What is it. Don't say you'll waste your time with fast food."

"You're both anxious that I'll end up selling fast food, that's cute and another thing you've got in common. But no, I won't sell fast food, I'll be a ranger in Angeles National Forest. No crime scenes, no burgers, only nature."

"That was the job you wanted most, wasn't it?"

"Yes." Sara smiled. Don listened and remembered, good to know. She liked people, who really paid attention; not only in their job.

"That means, when I've a day off, I'll come to visit you, hike a little bit and let me introduce to all the animals by you. Will you be my personal ranger?"

"I doubt my job will be to guide people through the park."

"You never know. If so, I'll be in one of your groups."

"Okay, I'll let you know. First I've to learn a lot."

"Do you want to go there before you start your job?"

"Can't hurt to know my future work place, can it?"

"No. I can't come with you, I'll go to New York soon, but you can have my car to get there."

"Thanks Don. Are you alright? Do you need some company for New York?"

"No, thanks. I'll have company there and I think, I'll need some time alone to work things out."

"Quiet time alone is a good thing sometimes."

"It is. And when you know, there are friends, you can turn to whenever you need them, it's even better."

"Sometimes these friends get you back home before you want to go home." Sara looked at Sofia.

"Only when these friends worry about you."

"You said, being afraid that you waste your talent in a fast food restaurant was another thing Sofia and I have in common. What other things do we have in common?"

"The nice blue eyes."

"And whose blue eyes are nicer?" He smiled widely at her.

"Dustys."

"Who is Dusty?"

"Dusty is the Husky of Mister Bennett." Sofia answered for Sara. "Nice way to get yourself out of a catch-22."

"I know. And her eyes are wonderful."

"They are, she's a beautiful dog."

"Forget the dogs, I want to know if mine or Sofia's eyes are nicer. Pick one, Sara."

"Your eyes are a little bit darker than hers, like the ocean on a warm sunny day."

"I won!" Don grinned. "Sorry landlady, you lost. But you've the nicer swagger."

"Bite me."

"I might do that one day, make you forget that you don't want to have men in your bed anymore. Until that day, you've to comfort yourself with women."

"Thanks Don, don't you have to pack for your flight?"

"No, I'll finish my TV show. Want to join me?"

"No, I've to start at seven tomorrow morning and instead of watching senseless TV, I'll read a good book."

"She pretends to be a geek. Sleep tight, lieutenant, I'll meet you for breakfast. We can share a car, leave one for Sara to have a look at her new work place."

"I can take the bus…"

"No, that's a good idea. I'll work until five again. If something comes up, I'll give you a call. Take the car and discover Angeles National Forest."

"I can take the dogs with me."

"They'll love your even more for that."

"And in the evening we want to know, where the best place for a romantic picnic is." Don grinned.

"Why don't you tease him for pick-up lines?"

"Why?"

"Just to be fair. I'm out of here, sleep tight, I see you both tomorrow morning."

"Night Sofia." Sara sat next to Don. "What are we watching?"

"Border control."

"Police TV?"

"Yes."

"Didn't you work enough to watch something else after work?"

"I did, but I like to be informed. What do you want to watch?"

"I think, I'll follow Sofia and read a little bit. After they told me I can have the job, I bought some books about Angeles National Park and the nature around L.A. in general. Some background information before I start my new job."

"An eager learner. I'm impressed."

"Geek."

"Sexy geek."

"Thanks young blue eyes. I'll see you tomorrow after work."

"Yeah, enjoy the last days you can sleep in."

"I will. Night Don."

"Good night, Sara. I'm glad you found a job you'll like." He pulled her in his arms and kissed her.

"Thanks." Sara got up and walked upstairs to her room. The room was still almost empty. She hadn't bought any more furniture, not sure if would stay here longer. Now with her job, she could plan more, could buy a few more things. The first thing she had in mind was a new book shelf. She wanted more books, she always had a lot of books around herself.

A knock on her door got her attention away from furniture.

"Come in."

No reaction.

"Come in." She tried it louder. Again nobody opened the door. Confused for a moment, asking herself if she dreamed that somebody knocked on her door, she went to the door and opened it. In front of it, on the ground, she found a little stuffed fox. She picked it up and smiled. Apparently Sofia had assumed she'd get the job and bought a little gift in advance.

With the fox in her hands, she went to Sofia's room, knocked and entered it, after she heard Sofia calling to come in.

The blonde sat on her bed, a book in her hands like she had been there for hours.

"Look what I found in front of my door." Sara said.

"Wildlife. You're lucky the dogs didn't catch it." The smile, that was hidden in the corner of her mouth, told Sara, she had been right. The little fox was a gift of the blonde.

"Probably. I wonder what it was doing there."

"A fox is a smart animal, it's looking for a smart owner. Or a smart friend."

"You think?"

"Yes. A future park ranger, the perfect friend to live with. Somebody, who protects you, knows a lot about you."

"The blonde next to my room is smart too. Maybe he wanted to be here, picked the wrong door."

"If he did, he had came here, he came to you. Take it as a lucky charm."

"I will, thanks. But as long as I've got you, I don't need a lucky charm. You make sure I'm alright. My personal safe person."

"That's my job. Protect and serve."

"I know. And I know one other thing."

"Which is?"

"You were wrong."

"When and why?"

"Dinner."

"What was with our dinner"

Sara bent over and kissed Sofia shortly on the lips. "You flush, lieutenant. Sleep tight." She got up and left the room without turning around to look at Sofia, but with a big grin on her face.

Sofia was unable to move, she sat like frozen in her bed and stared at the door, that closed now. Did she dream that? Had Sara really been in her room? Did the brunette really kiss her? For less than a second, but her lips had met Sofia's lips. She could feel it, even when she felt like drunk. Sara's lips had been on her own lips.

Slowly Sofia raised her right hand to touch her cheek. It felt like her whole skin was burning. She had to be deep red, the way it felt. How embarrassing. Not only that Sara was right, she flushed, but also that she wasn't able to respond in any way. She had frozen, stared like a stupid child, who's ice cream dropped on the street.

Sara had kissed her. She had repeat that to make it a little bit more real. It was too strange to be real. Why? Was it really only to show her, she was right? Was it nothing more than a little payback? A game? It had to be. It was only to prove Sofia wrong. And she had been wrong while Sara was absolutely right. She had flushed and if there had been any food or drinks around, she had choked on it and spilled it.

Could somebody please extinguish her head?


	25. Chapter 25

**Part 12**

"There she is, I thought we've lost her to the bears, moos and what else is lurking in Angeles National Forest. Did you get lost in the forest or on your way back home?" Don teased Sara, who came home late yesterday.

"Neither one of them." Sara sat down. She had taken Sofia's car on Thursday morning to drive to Angeles National Forest. Her plan had been to be back around five in the afternoon. But she met a future colleague, who had some time and showed her around. At the end, she was home after ten, when Don and Sofia were already in bed. She had sent them a text, so they didn't worry when she didn't come home earlier.

"Bob, who works in the park since a thousand years, is now a volunteer after he retired ten years ago, took me all interesting places and most animals get active when it's dark. I guess this trip yesterday gave me more information than all my books together."

"Probably. Your personal guide. Will you go back today?"

"Maybe."

"You can have my car again if you want." Sofia offered.

"No, thanks, but if I can borrow your bike, that would be great. I want to go there by bike, to get some exercise."

"You plan to eat some muffins?"

"Yes."

"Will you bring us some more muffins?"

"Didn't you say, you don't want to eat so much pastry anymore?"

"That's a mean rumor."

"Uh-hum." Sara smiled.

"I can get my own muffins." Sofia pouted.

"Of course you can, but there's no need to do so. I'll bring half a dozen home, two for each of us."

"I love this woman, she brings me food." Don got up. "I'll get ready for work, two minutes, Sofia."

"Alright. I'm ready to leave."

"Table duty."

"Bugger." Sofia rolled her eyes. It was her time to clean the table.

"Serve, lieutenant, it's called serving." Sara chuckled.

"Bite me."

"No, thanks. You'd like that too much. Later, lieutenant housewife."

"Get lost!" Sofia grumbled. Not only that she had to clean up, everybody teased her for that. She placed the last plate in the dishwasher and checked the empty kitchen. All done.

She heard Don upstairs and Sara, how she closed the front door. A look out of the kitchen window told the blonde, the brunette took the bike and took off. It was good to see her happy and she felt confident, that the therapy helped her. And she was sure, their own relationship got better and better.

The only thing, that made her a little bit unsure was the kiss. The kiss, Sara had given her two nights ago. Maybe she gave this kiss too much credit, Sara had only kissed her to tease her, to make her be wrong. The brunette had left the room and there had been no sign that it meant anything to her. Did it mean anything to Sofia? She wasn't sure about that. Fact was, she had been surprised, confused and a little bit…was it happiness? She wasn't sure, but it was a positive feeling.

Did a positive feeling mean, she had a crush on Sara? Was she about to have a crush on her? That seemed to be impossible. Sara wasn't her type. Sara was a bitch, she was grumpy, she was annoying, unreliable, had a temper and…it was just not possible! Besides, she was just out of a relationship, she didn't want all the trouble again. No, she was fine as a single, she didn't want a relationship and if she had a relationship again, it wouldn't be with Sara.

And now she had to get these strange thoughts out of her head.

* * *

"Muffin?" Sara asked after she knocked on the office door of doctor Weinberg.

"Good morning, Sara, how are you?" The doctor smiled. "Come in."

"Am I still welcome?"

"What else could 'come in' mean?"

"Give me the muffin and get lost."

The doctor laughed, took a knife, cut the muffin and gave one half back to Sara. "Have a seat, I can't offer you any coffee because I try to reduce my daily amount of caffeine."

"How does that work out for you?"

"Awful. I've a headache after work, when the last caffeine of my afternoon coffee is gone. Maybe an addiction to caffeine isn't that bad."

"Somebody said, it's like with any other addiction: you survive the first seventy-two hours without it, it's out of your system and you're fine."

"Maybe I've to wait until I've a week off, I can't work when I'm having a cold turkey."

"What will your patients with an addiction say about that?"

"I don't have patients, who are addicted to anything else than caffeine and nicotine. Drugs, most people don't see as drugs because they're legal."

"Your cold turkey is the best proof that caffeine is a drug; a really nice drug although." Sara stopped, bit on her lips. There was something she had to say. "Doctor Weinberg, I'm sorry for the way I behaved on Monday. I acted like a stupid school girl, didn't think and was plain stupid. And I'm sorry that you had to call Sofia, learn that I hadn't turned up home and worried. Maybe. That was…nothing I'm proud of."

"Sara, you're not the first patient, who stormed out of my office and you won't be the last. It's alright, I'm glad you were okay and came back today. Do you want to talk about why you ran?"

"No." Sara took a deep breath. "No, I don't want to talk about that, but I will talk about it. You deserve to get answers and you can't help me, if I don't cooperate."

"It makes it easier when you help me out with some answers, yes."

"I'll try to do that."

"Do you prefer to tell me what comes up your mind?"

"Can you ask me things and I try to answer them – here, on your chair, sitting and not running out of the door."

"Okay." The doctor laughed a bit before she became serious again. "When we talked on Monday, you asked me if you're crazy, what I denied. You were sure you are crazy because you inherited it. Can you explain that to me?"

Sara closed her eyes. That was a tough question to start with, but after she behaved like a luniac, she should have seen it coming.

"My mom was…is…schizophrenic."

"That doesn't mean, you're schizophrenic too."

"You can inherit it and the way I behave…these bouts, running away, losing my temper…aren't those symptoms of early schizophrenia?"

"No."

"So you don't think I'm schizophrenic?"

"No, Sara. No, I don't think so."

"What do you think do I have?"

"I se you today for the fourth time, I don't want to give you anything, a diagnosis, I'm not absolutely sure about."

"Please, give me anything, what you suspect I might have. I want to have a name for all these things."

"At the moment I believe you have PTSD but I need some more answers before I can say that for sure."

"Post-traumatic stress disorder?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because the symptoms you have are often found in people with PTSD."

"You don't think I've PTSD because of the SWAT team, do you?"

"No."

"But…I'm sorry, you were supposed to ask the questions, not the other way around."

"It's alright, you ask me when you have questions, Sara. No, I don't think the PTSD comes from the SWAT team. I'm sure it was a shock, but it's not the reason for your PTSD. It might have triggered some memories, you've tried to forget or ignored for a long time, but it's not the reason why you are here."

"If I have PTSD, will I ever be able to live without the bouts?"

"Yes. There's a really high chance of a full recovery."

"With strong medicine."

"Medicine can help, it helps to soothe, but it doesn't help you to overcome PTSD. Therapy, cognitive behavior therapy is what helps most people. It helps you to understand and see what is the reason that you have PTSD and helps you to understand, that what happened to you was in the past and doesn't threatens you anymore. Sounds easy, but it's really hard work, that won't make it easy for you all time."

"And can you make my PTSD disappear with this therapy?"

"That depends on you. If you help me to help you, we'll make you live without PTSD."

"No more running away, I promise."

"That's a good start. Now, ready for my questions or do you have of your own left? Want to talk of anything what you feel is important?"

"Questions, please."

"Can you tell me more about your mother? Does she live in Los Angeles?"

"No, she lives in San Francisco. I…we lived there, my parents had a B&B."

"They don't have it anymore?"

"No."

"You don't feel comfortable with these questions."

"No, but I'll answer them. Something about my mother…" Sara bit her lips. That was hard. There a lot of things she could talk about, nothing she wanted to talk about. "She…was is in a psychiatric hospital for a while." Come on, Sara, you can do better. You have to do better. You can't stop halfway, you have to tell the whole story, Sara tried to motivate herself. If she wanted some help, she had to help first. "She's in prison now. I mean, not now like, she had to go there a few days ago or so, she has been in there for over twenty-five years."

"You grew up without a mother."

"Without a mother, without a father, yes."

"Are you an only child?"

"No, I've got an older brother but we're not in contact."

"Your father left your mother and you?"

"Mom made him leave us. One night…shit." Sara stopped when she realized, her hands shook. Not again, not another bout.

"It's alright, Sara." Doctor Weinberg put her hand on Saras.

"No, it isn't. I don't want to end up unconscious again."

"Do you want to stop talking about your family?"

"Yes, I want to stop here, but I won't. If we wait for the day I feel like talking about my past, this will be a never-ending therapy. I don't want to end up having therapy for the rest of my life, I want my past in the past and not messing up my presents and future. So I will go on talking. But…is there a way to make sure, I won't lose it again?"

"Do you want some medicine, Sara?"

"I'm not sure."

"Most of the natural things don't work like an emergency pill, you need to take them for a longer time."

"I take Saint John's wort since you mentioned it. So far I can't see any difference, maybe I need to wait a little bit longer."

"It will take a few days and you won't wake up one morning and feel like you have to hug the whole world. You will realize sooner or later, you feel better, just more relaxed, less tensed, but not unnatural happy."

"Okay. Is there anything for now? I'm not sure how far I can take you when I start to lose it already…and I haven't even started yet." She told her therapist that her mother was in prison for over twenty-five years and that wasn't even her biggest problem, not the thing, that bothered her most. Her life must sound like a hell of a mess.

"I can't believe I ask for medicine."

"Go as far as you can go, stop at any point. This is a cognitive behavior therapy, our goal is to make you face your demons and wrestle them down with your own strength, not with medicine. I'll stop you when I think, you're going too far and don't realize it yourself."

"Okay." Sara closed her eyes again, grabbed the chair to have some control over her hands. "One night my mom took a kitchen knife, went upstairs and stabbed my father while he was asleep. I don't know why, if she had a special reason, if she was sick and tired of him, if she did it because she's ill. I haven't seen it, I didn't hear him scream because he never woke up or wasn't able to scream anymore, I've no idea. But she killed him and my brother and me were taken into foster families. I was twelve, almost thirteen. It wasn't hell like some children say about their foster time, but it wasn't good either. Three years later, I left to go to Harvard, start a new life. It took me a long time before I was able to visit my mother."

"What about your brother?"

"I haven't talked or seen him since we were separated."

"You don't want to see him?"

"I'm not sure. I think I'm afraid that when I see him, all the things, I try to forget, will come up and I break down."

"You said, your mother could have been sick and tired of your father. Was their marriage not a happy one?"

"No."

"She had reason to harm him?"

Another few silent seconds. "Yes. Yes…he…"

"Sara, stop there. Please."

She hadn't realized, she had started to tremble again.

"Damn."

"Remember the breathing exercise I showed you? Do it. Take a deep breath through your nose, keep the air for five seconds in your stomach, exhale slowly through your mouth." Doctor Weinberg held on to Sara's hand while the brunette inhaled slowly and deep. She repeated it five times before she was allowed to breath normally again. And didn't tremble anymore.

"Thanks."

"That's alright."

"I didn't realize that I was losing it again."

"You've got a therapist, who has to make sure, you're fine. Every now and then, she does look after you."

"I'm sure she does that all the time."

"She's trying. Remember when we talked about a safe person?"

"Yes. You asked if I can imagine Sofia being my safe person. I can. I told her about that, told her, I'd like her to be it."

"She agreed?"

"Yes. We're both not sure what it means, but she makes me feel safe. And I trust her."

"Do you think you'd feel better when she's around when you tell me about your father? Or don't you want her to know about this?"

"Can I think about it?"

"Of course."

"Good. Is that standard procedure?"

"No. But I think it might help you. As you have noticed already, you don't have a standard procedure therapy. If I'd do that with you, you had left for good after the first session. Sometimes you need to go new ways."

"I'm sorry to make things complicated."

"I like challenges and new things. As long as it helps you, it's alright. There are some rules can't bent or break and some, that can be more flexible."

"I'll ask her."

"Would you like to get to another topic until then?"

"Yes, a positive one." Sara smiled. "I've got a job."


	26. Chapter 26

"Who is on your mind?" Don asked when he entered his car, where Sofia was already sitting. The blonde had looked out of the window, obviously with her thoughts far, far away. Like so often within the last two days. He didn't need to be a detective to know, there was a special reason for that.

"You are always on my mind."

"Thanks Elvis, it's good to know you're still alive and that I'm your Pricilla. Now get your burger mind out of that sexy body and make some space for my lieutenant. You might be a world star, she is my personal star."

Sofia laughed and hugged Don.

"No sentimental shit at work, lieutenant." He reprimanded her, pulling her closer. "Wanna talk now or later?"

"Who said I want to talk at all?"

"There'll be no discussion about that, you'll talk. Pick the place, Honey."

"Here."

"Okay. So, who is on your mind?"

"You're the detective, go detect." These words Sara had said once to her. Thirty something suspects, a lot of work and all the cheeky brunette did, was teasing the new detective.

"Don't be cheeky or I'll get you in interrogation. What did she do?"

"Who?"

"Well, as a detective, I know, it's a woman, who is on your mind. That narrows it down to fifty percent of all human being. She is in Los Angeles, that's why she's on your mind, you've seen her recently. That narrows it down again. Let see, you have this absent minded eyes since two days, so you had contact with her in the last forty-eight hours. I cross out all women you saw work related. How good am I so far, lieutenant?"

"You haven't closed the case, detective. An open case is worth nothing."

"Did you have any contact with your ex? After your not so go dinner?"

"What? No!"

"Good. That was a very important answer. You saw Lynn, she doesn't give you this look. You weren't at volleyball practice, so it can't be anybody of your team. Leaves our new house-mate. Do you have Sara on your mind?"

"Does the word 'private' have any meaning to you?"

"Yes, it means, I'm right."

"No you aren't."

"You are such a bad liar, Sofia."

"Sara and me, we don't like each other." Now, that was really a bad lie. Everybody, who had seen her and Sara the last two weeks together knew, they had become friends. Don, who saw them every day, knew it better than anybody else. She had to do better to show him, he was wrong.

"That might have been correct the first weeks you knew each other. I've no idea how it was later, but I know, since she's in L.A. and you found her in interrogation, you like her. Or let's say, you started to like her that week. You don't offer people, you can't stand to live with us and it's not about the money. The last two people, who wanted to move in here, you sent away. She's special to you. You told me yourself. You said, she triggers something in you, something that makes you want to protect her."

"You like her too! It's not like I made the decision, she can live here on my own."

"I agreed, yes. Still your idea, Sofia."

"Who cares?"

"And now, she gives you the dreamy look. Does she know?"

"There is nothing to know."

"I told, you're not a good liar."

"And even if I like her, it doesn't mean a thing. She isn't interested in me, I'm happy when she doesn't snap at me."

"She has been far away from snapping at you the last days."

"She's too happy to have a job and before that, she was too busy to find one."

"Any suspect, who arguments like you, can book his cell for a long, long time. I wish the lawyer would talk like you."

"Will you start the car and get us home?"

"You want to go on talking about that at home? Good idea, we can include Sara in this conversation, I wonder what she thinks about it."

"I feel like strangling you, Don."

"No, you feel like kissing me for my brilliant mind."

"I don't."

"You feel like kissing her."

"No, I don't. Stop it!"

"Denying is a way of agreeing."

"What sick logic is that?"

"A true one." Don started the engine. "Will you talk to her about it?"

"No, there's nothing to talk about."

"You're old enough to make your own decisions."

"Exactly. I'm glad you remind that. Keep it in your mind and stay out of my business and my private life." Sofia turned her head to watch out of the window again. She had no reason to talk to Sara. At least not a reason, Don tried to talk her in. She worried about Sara, they were friends. She liked to spend some time with her and was glad, they shared a house. That was it. Everything else was pure imagination. Had to be.

* * *

"Hungry!" Sara dropped next Sofia on the couch and grabbed a hand full of potato chips. It was half past seven, she had just came home from her trip to Angeles National Forest.

"Make some dinner?"

"Dinner is in the bag on the table."

"Forget it! That is my snack! You can have a hand or two, that's it."

"Finder's keepers." Sara grabbed the bag, jumped up and started to run, Sofia right behind her. The chase went through the living room, in the kitchen, up the stairs, in Sara's bedroom and ended for Sara in her bathroom, for Sofia in front of the door, while Sara locked the door from the other side. Caught with no chance to leave.

"You're caught, there's no way out for you. Give up."

"No."

"I dare you."

"You can't do a damn thing. I've the bag with me, by the time you've opened the door, it's empty. Listen, I'm eating." Sara took another hand full of potato chips and ate them really loud. "Sooo yummy. My favorite. A real treat."

"Give. Me. My. Potato. Chips."

"I'm sure they'll be empty soon."

"One."

"Nah, there's more than one hand left. At the moment."

"Two!"

"Oh, you're The Count." Sara sat on her toilet seat.

"Three!"

"Four, five, six. Maybe you'll be able to count till ten by the end of the evening."

"Ten!" The door popped open and Sofia stood there. Sara almost choked her last potato chips. How was that possible? How did Sofia open the locked door? And more important, where to run now? She was trapped, she had no way to escape. Only a dive through the window, head first. Not the thing she wanted to do.

"Do you feel sorry already, Sara?"

"I feel…trapped." Sara stood up, back against the wall.

"You are."

"Potato chips?" She offered the bag with a sweet smile.

Sofia took the bag, dropped it on the floor and stepped closer to Sara, so that their faces were only a few inches apart. "Say you're very sorry, that you won't do it again and you'll buy five new bags for me tomorrow."

"You're very sorry, that you won't do it again and you'll buy five new bags for me tomorrow." Sara repeated.

"You think you're funny?"

"Shall I still say what you say?"

Sofia came even closer, placed her hands next to Sara's head, leant her body almost on Sara's. "You're in no position to tease me, Miss Sidle."

"The thing is, lieutenant Curtis, I really appreciate the bad ass cop show you put on, but let's be honest, you'd never hurt me. You're my safe person, you take care of me. I'm safe with you around. No need for me to be scared."

"I never signed anything about the safe person stuff."

"You don't need to sign, I've your word, that's worth more." Sara got her arms around Sofia and pulled her in. "I'm sure every suspect is scared when you're the bad ass cop. You play it very well. But why don't you stop pretending something you're not, take your potato chips, come down with me and we'll watch TV. You with your potato chips and I with my yogurt with some fruits."

"You try to get out of this. You try to make me forget, you stole my food and wanted to eat it alone."

"No, I remember you of the fact, that you like me. Couch, TV and you tell me, how your day was?"

"I'll let you get away with this. This one time. The next time, you'll pay, do you understand me?"

"Of course, you spoke in plain English. Come on, couch time."

Sofia grumbled something, took her potato chips and shot one evil look at Sara. The brunette didn't take her serious, she made fun of her. And she wasn't able to stop her. She had to work on herself.


	27. Chapter 27

"So, how was your day?" Sara sat cross legged on the couch, eating her natural yogurt with fresh fruits.

"We had a homicide in the Hollywood Hills, a family tragedy. The husband shot his wife and himself because he lost his job and was afraid, he couldn't pay the rent anymore."

"So he made the decision, his wife doesn't to live anymore" Sara sighed. "It's always the same. They see no reason to live anymore and assume, their family members also want to die. It never occurs them, that the family wants to fight, wants to live. I hated cases like that."

"So do I, it's…even more senseless than any other kind of killing. So it was a case, that was closed fast, but nevertheless not a good day."

"Did they have children?"

"The woman was pregnant."

"Shit."

"Yes."

"I know why I don't want to work in the law enforcement anymore. I don't want these things in my life anymore. I want to see some nice things when I work. There's no way to deny that there's a lot of evil in the world, that there're a lot of problems, but I need to see something good every now and then. And if it's nothing more than a fawn in the morning sun with it's mother."

"That's a very nice picture, I hope, you'll see that a few times and maybe you can take a photo. Some nice things to see for the homicide lieutenant, you know."

"I can do that."

"And how was your day?"

"I spent five hours in the forest. Just cycling around, looking for some nice spots. After therapy, I needed something to spoil myself. It was a tough session again. We talked about my past, my family and I lost it almost twice. One I noticed it myself, the second time, doc Weinberg had to stop me. She said, I'm not crazy, which is a relief." Sara stopped for a moment. She hadn't told Sofia about her mother's disease. "My mom has schizophrenia and I was afraid and still am, that I inherited it. That these bouts have anything to do with the disease. But the doc said, it's more likely, that I suffer from PTSD."

"Post traumatic stress disorder." Sofia had read up on some mental diseases. She knew something was wrong with Sara, that she had some kind of disease or disorder and had tried to find out herself, what it could be.

"Yes. The reason for that is in my childhood and she believes, the shock with the SWAT team triggered it, or got it back in my mind after I had tried to bury for all these years. We need to talk about my childhood now, talk about what happened and what has triggered the PTSD. Nothing I look forward to do, but necessary."

"Sounds like some really difficult conversations, you'll have."

"Yes. I don't want any medicine, so it's difficult to stay calm. She can't give me a prescription for psychotropic drugs, she isn't a medical doctor, that's why she can only suggest the natural stuff, which is fine with me. But it makes it harder to stay calm and not to get into a bout again. Probably it's easier when I've talked it through with her for the first time."

"I've no idea how it works, but maybe you will feel relieved after you talked to her. Maybe you think in your subconscious, that whatever happened to you, is still a risk for you, might hurt you if you talk about it. And when you've talked about it and nothing bad happened, it might show you, you're fine when you talk about it. I don't know, I'm not a psychologist, I'm a lieutenant."

"You're my safe person."

"Yes."

"Usually you're alone when you have therapy, the thing is, I know I feel safer when you're around. So I was wondering, if it's okay with you, to come with me and…"

"Sure, Sara." Sofia took Sara's hand. "If you want me there, I'll be there. I'll hold your hand, I'll talk to you, I'll sit some-where quiet in a corner, whatever I can do to make it easier for you."

"Thanks."

"Will you go there again in Monday afternoon?"

"Yes. We'll try to have three appointment per week until I start working and go down to one then. Hopefully the worst thing is over by the end of the month. I hope, as soon as I've talked about everything, that's hidden deep inside me and gives me all those problems, will slowly disappear after I've gone through it."

"You can do it, Sara. You're a strong woman. A very sensitive woman, but you're a fighter. And you've a therapist, who takes care of you, who won't let you do anything, that's not good for you."

"She even bends the rules a little bit for me."

"Which is very nice of her. Other would stick to the rules."

"Yeah. I'm glad I'm with her. And I'm very thankful that you're there for me too. I hope I'm not too much a pain in the ass."

"Only when you steal my potato chips."

Sara chuckled. "You know, the Spanish word for potato is 'patata' and if you accidentally pronounce it wrong, the 't' as a 'd' you'll get a kick in the ass."

"That's what you'll get the next time you steal my potato chips. What a good way to remember it. Since when do you speak Spanish?"

"I picked some words up while I was in Costa Rica."

"Always a geek."

"I take that as a compliment, lieutenant."

"Good."

"Do you tell me what's wrong with you?" Sara asked carefully.

"Huh? Wrong?"

"Yes. Something isn't right. Like you said, I'm sensitive, I feel that. If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay, just say it. If you want to talk, I can listen."

Sofia was quiet for a few seconds. "No, thanks. I'm fine."

"You're not fine, but if you don't want to talk about it. That's alright Sofia. If you change your mind, I'll be there."

"Thanks." Sofia sighed. She couldn't talk with Sara until she wasn't sure, what exactly was wrong with her. Something had to be wrong with her feelings and it was better, if she worked that out alone. She had talked to Don, more she had been willing to talk with him.

"You're welcome. By the way, I called Greg."

"Really? How is lab rat with the crazy hair?"

"He hasn't changed and was happy that I've called him. He isn't that happy that I'll stay in L.A. and won't come back to Vegas."

"Did you tell him you live with me?"

"I did." Sara grinned.

"Did he believe you?"

"No. He said, he has to come here and make sure, it's not a lie. He said, it's impossible that we can live under the same roof."

"He can come here and see with his own eyes. We live together in one house, it works out perfectly – as long as you respect my property."

"Your food."

"Especially my food. When will he come here? I bet he won't let us wait for a long time."

"I told him, I've to ask you first."

"Are you silly? You can invite him whenever you want to see him. You don't have to ask me, stupid girl. This is your home too. Get him here ASAP."

"Okay." Sara smiled.

"Call him."

"I'll call him tomorrow."

Sofia checked her watch. "He hasn't start his shift yet, give him a call. Tell him to ask for a few days off ASAP. I want him here! Get him here before you start your new job. Take him to the forest, to the sightseeing stuff of the city, to the beach – but don't fall sleep in the sun again."

"I won't."

"I doubt he would let you fall asleep."

"No, he wouldn't."

"Call him!"

"Yes." Sara got her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed Greg's number. "Hey Greggo, guess who sits next to me…yes we're in the same room, we even share a couch…no, there are no drugs involved…you're stupid! Listen, Sofia told me to make it very clear to you, you've to come here ASAP. You're supposed to ask Grissom for a few days off tonight and come here better today than tomorrow…I can ask her…Sofia, can Greg sleep in your bed because there's no guest room?"

"Not if he wants to be alive the next morning."

"She threatens to kill you if you do so…no, my bed is still not available, I ask Don if he wants to share his bed with you…what do you mean with, you don't want to share a bed with a man? He's cute, has really nice blue eyes…okay, we'll prepare a guest bed for you. You make sure, you'll be here soon and we'll take care of the rest…no, I won't come back to Vegas with you, I've got a job here and when you come here soon, I'll tell you everything about it…okay, we'll talk tomorrow. Have a good night, a safe shift and say hello to the others."

"Send them a hello from me too." Sofia said.

"Sofia says hello too….okay, I'll tell her. Bye, hear you tomorrow." Sara closed her phone. "He'll call me tomorrow to tell me, when he can be here. He'll tell Grissom he needs a few days off ASAP."

"Let's hope he'll get them. And what are you supposed to tell me?"

"That he'll try to get you and me back to Vegas because he misses working with us."

"He's cute." Sofia chuckled. "But I'll stay. I like my house."

"With no guest room."

"Why don't you invite him in your bed? You're close friends."

"Do you share your bed with close friends?"

"Yes. I offered Don I share a bed with him if he feels lonely and I'd do the same with you. If you have nightmare and need somebody to hold you, I'll invite you in my bed."

"I'll think about that. As long as you don't invite Don and me over."

"You're not interested in a threesome with him and me? Think about, four beautiful blue eyes and two sexy bodies next to you."

"I prefer to have the full attention of my lover and to give my full attention to my lover. You can't give one hundred percent to two people."

"In that case, come over when I'm alone. I'd like to have one hundred percent."

"Why don't you go to bed when you're already dreaming?" Sara smirked and got up. "Want a new beer?"

"Yes, please. Thanks." Sofia handed Sara the empty bottle. She hoped, Greg would get his days off soon and be here in no time. She wanted to see the young CSI again and she was sure, his presence would be good for Sara.


	28. Chapter 28

**Part 13**

Sofia leant on the frame of the door to the garden, watched her dogs play in the morning sunlight while she sipped her coffee. Another warm and sunny morning in L.A., another morning she had to leave her dogs alone and catch bad boys. Was she doing the right thing? Was this really the thing, she wanted to do for the rest of her life? Chasing killer, bringing the news to people, that their loved ones were killed? Did she really want to handle violence until the end of her career? Was it worth going all the way up to captain to walk through blood and countless bodies? Or should she start to think about an alternative? Like Sara had. Could she imagine to be something else than a cop? And if so, what would it be? What – that had nothing to do with law enforcement – was something she enjoyed, knew how to do? A job in a lab? No, she wasn't made to work in a lab the whole day, to stay inside. She was an active person, she needed to be on the road.

Suddenly the ground under her feet disappear, she felt something embracing her, lifting her up and spin around.

"What the…?!"

"Got you!" Don kissed her. "You were dreaming, didn't pay attention to your surrounding. That's not very good, lieutenant. You've to be alert all the time."

"If I can't trust my detective and my CSI, I've to think about getting new people in my team. You're supposed to watch each others back and not assault the other one."

"You want to tell me, if I had been a burglar, you had heard me?"

"If you had been a burglar, the dogs would have killed you."

"Yeah, the dogs. The lieutenant was somewhere in never-never land."

"Aren't you due to leave? Like five minutes ago?"

"I've to say bye-bye to my landlady and remind her, not to give my room away."

"Depends on who'll knock on my door and ask for a room. Right now, you're not very popular, I might give the room to anybody, who'll pay the rent."

"No you won't, you'll miss me too much."

"Isn't that your cab?"

"It is. I've one more thing to do." He smiled.

"What?"

"Hold still." His hands took her shirt and he started to pull it up.

"Don, what are you doing?"

"Trust me."

"If you don't stop right now I'll hurt you."

"Stay cool, I've seen you in your underwear." When he took off her shirt, she had fight the urge to slap him. It was true, he had seen her in her underwear, but that wasn't a reason why he was allowed to undress her whenever he felt like it. Only the little voice deep in her head, that told her, Don was joking around, made her not slap him. He turned the shirt inside out and put it back over her head.

"Better."

"I wore it inside out? Ooops."

"You did." He kissed her. "Say goodbye and that you'll miss me."

"Goodbye and that you'll miss me."

"Funny girl." Don hugged Sofia again. "I'll call you when I'm in New York. Anything I should bring you from there?"

"No, all I want is you back in one piece."

"I can do that. Take care, Sofia. Of the four of you."

"The dogs and Sara?"

"Yes."

"Will do."

"Bye." He kissed her again.

"Don't forget to come back in one week, Don." Sofia kissed him. "Your lieutenant won't allow you to stay away for more than one week. If you're late, you'll lose your job!"

"I like this no pressure attitude you have." He blinked at her and left the room. The cab was waiting and he had a flight to catch. One week in New York, one week to visit old friends, his family and try to chase some demons away.

Sofia knew, it was important for him to go there, to work some things out and she understood, that he wanted to do that alone. At the same time, she didn't like the fact, that he was on his own. Okay, he had his family and friends there, but she wanted to be there too, make sure, he was alright.

Now she was here without him, had to wait until he was in New York. His flight was due in almost three hours, five hours of flight, another hour to be out of the airport, so she had to wait until the late afternoon before she heard something of him. Didn't she just behave and think like a mix between a mother, who had to let go of her baby boy for the first time summer camp and a girlfriend, who couldn't imagine to be without her new lover for a second. The bad thing was, she wasn't neither one that these two things. She was plain crazy. And she liked it, it felt right.

"He's gone." Sara joined her in the living room. "Don."

"Yeah, this week will be good for him."

"He didn't seem to be very happy the last days. I hope that will be changed when he's back." Sara sat on the couch, pulled up her knees and watched Sofia, who was back at the door frame with her coffee. Thanks goodness she had put away the cup before Don got her in his arms. Otherwise she could clean the living room now.

"He'll be better, I hope."

"You weren't that happy neither."

"Life isn't always sunshine and roses."

"No, it isn't."

Sofia finished her coffee, whistled once to get the attention of her dogs. It was time for a walk with them. She had the day off, no reason not to spend time with her dogs.

"I'll take the dogs out for a long walk, time for them to spend time with their mommy."

"They'll like it. Will you have a minute or two when you're back for a talk?"

"Want to talk now?" Sofia sat next to Sara.

"I don't want to stop you and the dogs."

"Don't be stupid, Sara. They won't mind to wait a little bit longer."

"Maybe you mind to talk to me."

"Nonsense. Why should I?"

"Because you act a little bit…I don't know how to say it… weird? Strange? Reserved."

"I don't. I…" Sofia stopped. Okay, she wasn't the same, maybe she was a little bit different then usually. "I'll be fine."

Sara looked her quietly, her eyes became sad. She swallowed a few times, then stood up. "Okay, have a nice day."

"Sara…"

"No, Sofia. I understood, you don't want to talk to me about what's bothering you. I've to accept that."

"Sara…" Sofia tried to stop Sara, but the brunette had left the room and closed the door behind her.

"Shit." Sofia sighed, leant back and closed her eyes. How could she end up in this position? Why didn't she do anything to avoid that? Now she had not only damaged the friendship they had built up in the last days, she had also damaged the fragile trust, Sara had in her. How could she be Sara's safe person when she hurt her feelings? When she wasn't honest with her. Or, Sofia didn't lie, she didn't tell her everything. That wasn't the same, was it?

"I messed it up, guys." She petted Rantanplan, who laid his head on her left knee. "I'm a stupid woman, Ran, a true blonde. Tell me what to do, please. I can't let her leave like that, I can't tell her the truth because I try to avoid and ignore the truth myself. It's a damn perfect catch-22. Any plans?"

Rantanplan whined quietly while Scooby came to them and poked Sofia with his nose, like he wanted her to get up.

"We'll go for a walk, guys. I'd like to work the problem I got myself in out before we do so we can all enjoy the walk. Any suggestions?"

Both dogs started to bark.

"Talk? Because I said the wrong things I'm in this trouble."

Both dogs didn't stop barking and poked Sofia.

"Okay, I'll talk to her but if I mess it up completely, you'll tell Don tonight when he calls. If I tell him, he'll come back and I'll get a patada…You heard that? Isn't it great, she makes me remember Spanish words." Sofia got up. "I'm such a hopeless case." She left the living room, checked the kitchen. Empty. Probably Sara was upstairs in her room. With the dogs right behind her, she went up the stairs, knocked in Sara's door and waited for an answer. Nothing happened. She knocked again. Nothing.

"Sara?" Carefully Sofia opened the door. The room was empty, there was no sound coming out of the bathroom. It seemed like Sara had left house.

"Great, I messed up big times. Scoob, Ran, we need to find Sara. Get your leashes, please!" She got her cell phone out of her room, no message. Like usually when she told them to get their leashes, the dogs sat in front of the front door, leashes on the ground, barking, waggling, excited.

"Okay guys, where is Sara? Can you find Sara for me? Find Sara, go!"

They weren't search dogs, Sofia knew, they wouldn't start to run and get her straight to Sara, she had to use her own head. After all, she got herself in this situation. With her bike and her car still in the garage, she was sure, Sara was gone on foot. That meant, she wasn't that far ahead.

There were two, no three places, Sofia could imagine Sara went to. First to the motel, but that wasn't very likely. She wasn't looking for a room for the night. Number two was her therapist. She had an appointment this afternoon, there was no reason to go there now. Doctor Weinberg had no time for her. That left her with place number three, the dog's playground. The brunette liked that place, she liked to watch how all the dogs got along without a problem and played.

Her dogs pulled her automatically to the dog's playground, as it was their favorite spot too and they were very happy, when Sofia didn't make them walk around the reservoir first, but went straight to the playground. She took another road so that – in case Sara sat on her favorite bench – she didn't see them coming down Silver Lake Boulevard.

Sofia smirked when she saw the back of her new housemate. She had been right, Sara went to her favorite spot in Silver Lake. She took her dogs off the leash when she opened the gate and both ran straight to Sara, ruining Sofia's little surprise.

"Scooby, Rantanplan, what are you doing here?" Sara turned surprised.

"They missed you."

"No, they wanted to be here to play." She petted the dogs, magically had two treats in her hands and after the dogs had eaten them, they went off to explore who else was around and with whom they could play.

"Mind?" Sofia pointed of the empty place next to Sara.

"No, of course not."

"Thanks." What now? How to start? What to say? This wasn't a comfortable situation, Sofia hated to be in situations like this. It felt a little bit like, you were about to end a long term relationship, trying not to hurt the other one, also you knew, you'd hurt him or her anyway. No matter which words you chose.

"I'm sorry, Sara." An apology was always a good way to start.

"What for?"

"Being me."

"Usually it's my part to apologize for being me."

"You don't have to apologize for anything."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Sofia, I'm not stupid. I've realized since when you behave strange. Wednesday. It wasn't your job and it wasn't the food in the restaurant that made you act weird. It wasn't the news, that I've got a job, that made you act strange. It was this stupid kiss I gave you. Since that time you're reserved."

Sofia sighed. The problem with Sara was, this woman was simply too damn smart. There was no way you could play her, she knew when you tried to pretend something, that wasn't real. Not the best thing. At least not for Sofia right now.

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings or give you the feeling I play you. It was just…I wanted to prove you wrong. I'm sorry, it wasn't a smart thing to do."

"It's not your fault, I've no idea what's wrong with me, how can you know?"

"Are you in love with me, Sofia?"


	29. Chapter 29

The lightness of Sara's tone caught Sofia off guard. That wasn't the Sara Sidle she had met in Las Vegas, that wasn't the easy pissed off woman.

"To be honest, I don't know, Sara. I don't know what I feel for you. I know, you're important for me, I don't know in which way. I like you, I'm happy you're here, that we met again, that you stay with Don and me, but I can't say, what exactly I feel for you. I was sure, I'm done with relationships for a while, that I didn't want anything else than my freedom and stay far, far away from any kind of love relationship. But yes, your kiss – even I knew it wasn't a serious kiss, only a way to tease me – caught me a little bit off guard and turned me upside down. For no reason. Unfortunately my head doesn't always work the way it should. Must the blonde gene."

"You are not a real blonde."

"You don't have any evidence for that."

"I can see dark roots."

"Damn it, I need an hour in the bathroom, wash the brown dirt our of my blonde hair." Sofia smiled.

"Do you want me to move out?"

"I want you to do a lot of things, Sara, moving out isn't even at the end of the list. The only way for you to get out of my house is when you want it that way. I want you to stay and I'd be very sad, if you make the decision to move out."

"I like to stay at your house, but I don't want to make things difficult for you."

"I make things difficult for myself. It's me and nobody else."

"And there's nothing I can do?"

"Sure there is: Don't leave the house because I act like a jerk."

"If you want me to stay, I'll stay."

"I want you to stay. And so do Rantanplan, Scoob and Don."

"Okay, I stay."

"Thanks." Sofia took Sara's hand carefully and held it, when the brunette didn't pull back. "I'll work out what is wrong with my head. Maybe I need a session with your therapist."

"Remember, you're not allowed to hit on your therapist. Think carefully if you want her to be your therapist or your girl-friend."

"What did I just say a few seconds ago about me and relationships?"

"You want relationships."

"Somehow there had to be a problem between my mouth and your ears…."

"No, you said, you want me to stay. You want relationships to other people, Sofia."

"You know what I mean."

"I do." Sara smiled.

"Good. Do you want to stay here or shall we leave?"

"Where do you want to bring me?"

"I thought of a place with waves, sand, where the dogs can run free and we can take a bath with them."

"Sounds like a perfect place. My skin should be fine with a little bit of sun by now."

"We'll take a sunshade with us."

"And a cell phone. I forgot to tell you, Greg will come here today. He could talk Grissom into giving him a week off and takes off to L.A. after a little nap."

"Perfect. He has a week off, you have two more weeks until you've to start your new job and I've a week off too."

"A whole week? I thought only today. To bring Don to the airport."

"My plan was to fly with him to New York, to stay with him, but he wanted to go alone. So I've a whole week off. If you want private time with Greggo, you have to go back to your motel."

"I don't want private time with Greg, don't talk stupid. But I have a question, after you told me to invite him: Where will he sleep?"

"In your bed?"

"Only in his dreams – if he still dreams this dream."

"As soon as he'll see you, this dream will be alive again." Sofia grinned.

"I won't take him in my bed."

"Poor boy. He can have my bed if I can get into yours."

"Out of the frying pan into the fire. Great."

"Hey, I haven't made a decision about you. Maybe I don't like you at all and I behave strange because I'm getting a flu or so."

"She compares me to a flu, what a nice safe person. I might change my safe person and ask Greg to come with me."

"No, you won't." Sofia took Sara's arm and pulled her on her feet. "Let's go home, pack some picnic and go to the ocean. You know when Greg will be here?"

"Late afternoon, early evening. Depends on the traffic. I sent him your address and told him, if he arrive between five and six, he'll find us at doctor Weinberg's place."

"Yeah, the dogs won't open the door for him. They're smart, but not that smart."

"Let's hope he's smart enough to call us if he ends up in front of a closed door."

"He's a smart man, he'll come straight to you."

"Somehow it sounds like you make more out of this than it is." Sara furrowed her brows. "I'm not sure if I like that."

"You can make a decision about that on our way to the beach."

* * *

"This is a nice spot." Sara buried her feet in the sand and watched the dogs playing in the waves. They were on a part of the beach between Santa Monica and Malibu, where they were allowed to let the dogs run free.

"Yes. You don't have any cafes or surf shops around, but you have a quiet spot to enjoy the water and give your dogs some freedom."

"Better than shops and cafes." Sara started pulled off her shirt.

"She's stripping! Now I want a beer and watch." Sofa smirked.

"You'll get a handful of sand in your face."

"A fight on the beach? Sounds…promising."

Sara snorted, got out of her pants and walked towards the water. She wasn't stripping, she wore a bathing suit. If she was on the beach, she wanted to have a little swim. Her skin was better, there was no reason not to go into the water for a few minutes.

The water was warm, she made her arms wet before she dove into the next wave, that came towards to the beach. When she got her head out of the water, the dogs were on their way to her.

"Hey guys, are you…hey!" She tried to push them away. Both tried to climb on her back, the craws scratching over her sensitive skin. "Ouch." She got down and dove a few yards away. Unfortunately as soon as her head popped out of the water, the dogs started to follow her. She hoped, they'd lose interest after a minute or two, but they kept following her, no matter in which direction she dove. After ten minutes she had enough, dove back to the beach and left the water. As soon as she was ashore, the dogs lost interest.

"Your dogs assaulted me!" Sara pointed to red scratches on her arms.

"They tried to safe you."

"By climbing on me? Pushing me under water?"

"Yes."

"That makes no sense."

"Not for you, in their world, it will make great sense."

"Thanks. That's why you don't go into the water, why didn't you warn me?"

"I'm not swimming for another reason, that has nothing to do with my dogs. And I didn't warn you because I didn't think, they like you so much that they try to rescue you."

"You want me to believe it's a good thing they did?"

"Let's say, they did it with a good intention."

"Great."

"The next time, you take a shirt with you in the water. Had been better for your skin anyway, you're a little bit red." Sofia handed Sara a towel and put the sunshade up.

"I can't hide the whole time, when I start my job, I'll up out the whole day."

"And you'll wear a ranger uniform."

"Yes."

"That will protect your skin. And you'll look sexy."

"Stop it, lieutenant."

"Making you compliments?"

"Hitting on me."

"If I don't try to get you, I'll never know if I could get you. And most times, I regret things I didn't do."

"Let me give you a friendly advice: if you have any intention to have more than a friendship, you won't get it by being annoying. If I want you, if I could consider you as a partner, I'll let you know. The more you try to make me want you with comments like that, the bigger the chance, I'll withdraw and won't spend any time with you at all. At least not more than I have to."

"That's a nice way to say: fuck off!"

"No, it's a friendly advice."

"Are you really annoyed?" Sofia asked carefully, suddenly scared, that she was about to break their fragile friendship with her – to use a nice word - clumsiness. "Did I mess it up?"

"No, you didn't mess anything up. I don't like it when people hit on me, not that obviously. I prefer the subtle way, when the other ones waits if I respond and then act again. People, who try to get me with brutal force are not interesting for me."

"I'll remind that and won't offer you a sandwich. You can get one yourself if you're hungry."

"I know you understood me so I'll ignore the BS you said and ask if you can apply some sun crème on my back. The after sun stuff."

"No more baths?"

"Not as long as your dogs are around."

"I can call them back and keep them here for the time you're in the water."

"No, I wait for another time. I live in L.A. now, there'll be plenty of days, I can stay at the beach. Maybe tomorrow with Greg."

"He'll like the beach, the surf boards and the girls in bikini. After all, he wanted a trip to Hawaii to compare sand from the lab. That's what he told me once."

"Yeah, his early days, his crazy days. He was so cute back them."

"And now?"

"He's still cute but when I first came to Vegas he was cute like…like a puppy, that tried to walk and fell every few yards. And he tried to hit on me too hard."

"He has a great…no, I won't say that. I'm capable of learning. I won't comment your sentence." Sofia grinned and gave Sara the sun crème bottle back.

"Good girl." Sara looked at Sofia and started to grin.

"What?" The blonde knew Sara thought about something mean. There was a plan in Sara's head it was visible and Sofia knew, she was caught, she had no chance to escape.

"I've got a lovely idea."

"When you say it this way it can't be lovely, it sounds scary and I'm sure, I don't like it."

"You strike me as somebody, who likes to try things, you'll like it."

"What do you have in mind, Sara?"

"Nothing." Sara started to put some sand on Sofia's feet until they were buried and went on with the right foot.

"No!"

"What?"

"You're about to bury me alive."

"No, that sounds bad, that sounds like I'd try to kill you. I want to…give you some natural sun protection."

"I'm under the sunshade."

"That's not natural."

"Will you stop what you're doing?"

"Sofia, you haven't moved your feet to get rid off the sand, you don't mind that I play mummy with you." Sara grinned and used now both hands to bury Sofia under a thin layer of sand.

"She's nuts."

"That's why I'm in therapy."

"No, that's not the reason. I'm sure doc Weinberg hasn't realized yet how crazy you really are."

"You think, she isn't a good psychologist?"

"I'm sure she is, but you're better than she is."

"Sofia, no more faked compliments, remember?"

"Bugger. Do I get credit for trying?"

"If you try real hard, yes."

"I'll try real hard." Sofia flinched when Sara's hands touched her side.

"Are you…?" Sara asked with a huge grin.

"No! Don't even think of it!"

"I don't." Sara grinned. Sofia was ticklish, that was good to now. "I'm on a mission." She threw more and more sand on the blonde. It took her almost five minutes until there was only Sofia's head looking out of the sand.

"Are you happy now?"

"Almost." She took her cell phone and took a photo. "That will be the pic I'll see whenever you call or send a text. Really nice."

"Now get me out of this."

"No, you can do that yourself."

"You buried me alive, you get me out of this."

"I can help you."

"That's the least you can do."

"Okay." Sara got up, sat on Sofia's belly and started to tickle her.

"What the…stop that…!" Sofia tried to fight Sara's hands, but her arms were buried too and when she got them free, Sara had already started to tickle her. With her legs half under sand, she tried to fight Sara.

It took her almost a minute until she had the upper hand, managed to throw Sara down and get on top of the brunette, her hands pinned down.

"Say you're sorry and ask me to forgive you."

"No."

"You're not in a position to be not nice to me."

"Bite me."

"I'd love to, the problem is, you'll take it personally and be mad. Otherwise I'd love to sink my teeth in your skin, Sara."

"Get off me."

"As soon as you told me you're sorry."

"Now!"

"Try it again."

"You won't do anything to me, you're my safe person."

"I know. But I can let you stay in this position for a while."

"You'll be bored soon."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"We'll see if you're right."

"Get off!"

"No." Sofia smiled. That was good, she had the power over Sara and the brunette couldn't be mad at her because she started this thing herself. Just perfect.

"Please."

"Almost."

"I'm sorry."

"I knew you can say it." Sofia let go of Sara.

The brunette got up, got her arms around her knees and took a deep breath. Immediately Sofia was alert. This was the way Sara had learn to breathe when she was in a stress situation.

"Are you alright?" Sofia carefully touched Sara's shoulder with the tips of her fingers.

"Yes." Sara closed her eyes.

"Sure? You're pale."

"Having me pinned down isn't the best position. Too many memories, bad memories." Memories, she didn't want to think of.

"Sara, I'm sorry, I didn't know…"

"Exactly, you didn't know and I started it." Her eyes opened again. "You'll hear a lot of not nice things this afternoon, Sofia."

"I thought so. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Now? I'll be alright in a minute. Then? Sit next to me, be there, take me in your arms if I start to tremble, don't let me have another bout again, please."

"I'll do whatever I can. I promise."

"I know." Sara smiled a bit. "That's why you're my safe person."


	30. Chapter 30

"Hi." Sara felt strange, like a mixture of a child on it's first day at school and a lamb on it's way to the slaughter. Had the office of her therapist been before a neutral or good place, today it felt like danger.

"Hello Sara, Lieutenant."

"Hi doc, how are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks. How are you?"

"I was buried alive today."

"What? What did happen? A work incident?"

"No." Sofia laughed when she saw the shocked face of the doctor. "A Sara incident. Your patient, whom I think is absolutely nuts, buried me alive on the beach. You need to work harder on her. She's a threat."

"You look fine to me, looks like she let you go."

"I had to fight her."

"Sounds still more like a nice day at the beach than a threat."

"You're on her side."

"Yes I am." Doctor Weinberg grinned. „She's my patient, of course I'm on her side. Otherwise I'd be a bad doctor. And Sara doesn't go to bad doctors."

"Great, a conspiracy."

"She's paranoid." Doctor Weinberg whispered to Sara.

"Yeah, I think so too." Sara laughed. "She needs some treatment, some strong medications and a long holiday trip in the looney bin."

"Shall I go and leave the two of you alone?" Sofia pouted. She was here to help and all she got was mock.

"No, you'll stay right by my side, safe person." Sara took Sofia's hand and pulled her to the couch. "Can she sit next to me? Or does she have to sit anywhere else?"

"I can also sit on a chair, stand somewhere a little bit further away, be quiet and just watch." Sofia offered.

"There's no rule, you can sit wherever it suits Sara best. Whatever we do here is to help her, so we have to make it in a way, that makes her feel good."

"I'd like to have you next to me." Sara smiled a bit at Sofia.

"I'll be right next to you."

"Okay, so you had a nice day on the beach, that's a good way to start the week."

"Yes. We took the dogs there, unfortunately they tried to climb on me when I was in the water. I tell you, dogs have sharp craws too. But it was fun and I hope, we'll do that again. We've got both the whole week off, that means, if you want me to come here at any other point, it's no problem; if that's alright with Sofia."

"Sure. If you want me here another time."

"I'd prefer to have you here only today. Sara has to learn to cope alone. You're here to make it easier for her the first time, the next time, she had to go through it alone."

"Okay."

"Alright." Sara wasn't sure, if she was ready to face the demons of her past alone.

"You can do it, Sara. Once you've told everything, it will be easier to talk about it again."

"I trust you on that. Oh, and Greg is on his way to visit us. He might be here when we're done."

"Your friend from Las Vegas."

"Yes. He has a week off too. We can spend some time together."

"Perfect timing."

"Yes. And yes, I've got still time for therapy."

"Good, I won't let you off the hook. There's some stuff to work out about your family."

"Yes. About…my father."

"You told me a bit about your mother the last time."

"That she's schizophrenic and I'm scared to inherit it, yes."

"There's a ten percent chance that you inherited it, Sara. Most people get this disorder when they're between their teens and thirty-five. Of course it can strike you when you're eighty something, but the chance, that you'll get this disorder is not that that high."

"Okay, that's something positive. I thought a few times of her the last couple of days, I haven't visited her in a long time, maybe I should go up to San Francisco and see her again."

"It can help you to work out your problems with the past, but do it, when you're sure, it won't throw you back."

"Okay."

"Have you forgiven her?"

"Yes. It wasn't like she…like she killed him because she's a bad person. She killed him because she was…is ill. There were some voice, that told her to kill him. I know it sounds strange for most people to understand that that can be a reason but I believe, that when you hear voices and you're sure, there're there and tell you what to do and you know, you have to do what they say, you don't do anything with a bad intention. It wasn't her fault."

"Your childhood wasn't easy."

"No. I spent a lot of time in hospitals. Broken arm, bruised shoulder, twisted ankle. They told the doctors I'm a clumsy child."

"You weren't."

"No, I was quite good in duck and dodge, but not good enough all the times."

"Sometimes you got hit."

"Often. I…first I thought, that's what family life is, you spend a lot of times in hospitals, every family works this way. Then I found out that wasn't the case."

"You realized, you're family is different."

"Yes. My mother was…I didn't know what was wrong with her, but I knew, she was different than other mothers and my father…first I thought he's a strong man. I held this picture up for a long time, avoiding the obvious thing."

"You tried to save yourself."

"I lied to myself, yes."

"Because your father wasn't like other fathers."

"He…he…" Sara stopped, took Sofia's hand and slipped closer to her friend as her being close could help her, protect her. "He was…abusive. He abused…me."

"Stop here for a moment, Sara." Doctor Weinberg told her. "You need to breathe evenly."

"Right." She hadn't realized that she had started to tremble and breathed shallow. Knowing the drill, she repeated her breath exercise five times.

Sofia felt like taking her friend into her arms, pulling her in deep and hold her as close as possible. It hurt her, broke her heart to see how Sara suffered going back to her childhood, talking about it, remembering it. But she knew, her part was a passive one, she had to sit here, hold Sara's hand as long as the brunette wanted it this way and stay quiet.

"Better?" Doctor Weinberg asked.

"Yes. Thanks. Where was I?"

"You told me about your father."

"Yes. He…wasn't the father you wish for. My parents had a B&B not too far away from San Francisco. They were hippies, there were always plenty of people around, none of them said anything when I had another bruise or bandage."

"You were surrounded by people but nobody helped you."

"No. That was another reason why I thought, every family is like mine. It didn't seem to disturb anybody what happened to me."

"You couldn't trust anybody."

"No. I remember one time I almost told somebody that I had a bruised shoulder because my dad pushed down the stairs. He was there, heard it and later he made it very clear that I better never ever tell anybody. It was family business and you have to keep family business in the family. Otherwise you're a bad girl and you need to be punished and you don't deserve it any other way because…" Sara didn't realize how her voice had become high and she spoke rapidly. Nor had she realized that the tremble had started again.

"Sara, stop. Breath."

"He said that again and again and then he…"

"Sara, stop!"

"He took his belt and…"

"Sara, don't!" Sofia couldn't bear to listen any longer, she pulled Sara in, held her, let her bury her face in her hair, stroke her back. If they couldn't stop Sara with words, she had to do something. She felt how her friend couldn't take it anymore and at the same time couldn't stop talking like she had to get rid off all the words. She felt how her shirt became wet, felt how Sara was crying. But at least she had stopped talking, the tremble didn't get worse.

"Shit." Sara sobbed.

Sofia looked at doctor Weinberg for a sign that told her, she had to let Sara out of her arms, but the doctor shook her head. It was better if Sara stayed there for a short while, to get herself together.

After two minutes she got out of Sofia's arms, her hand still linked with the blonde's. "I'm sorry."

"No need to." Doctor Weinberg offered her a box with tissues.

Sara took one, wiped away her tears and blew her nose. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Do we have to go on?"

"Yes Sara. You need to talk this trough at least once. I know it doesn't feel like that, but you'll feel better after that."

Sofia wondered how much more could come and at the same moment, she didn't want to know what else had happened to Sara. She wasn't sure anymore if she was a good safe person, if she could bear listen to all the pain Sara had been through. No wonder the brunette had problems trusting people. No wonder she had problems being pinned down in the sand. What a stupid thing to do of Sofia. But she didn't know. How had she possible known of this? Of an awful story like this?

"Your father abused you. With his belt."

"The belt, his hands, shoes, a baseball bat, whatever came handy."

"Did he do more?"

Sofia felt sick. Only the imagination of what Sara could answer made her feel sick, made her want to jump up, run out of the office and throw up. She had to fight the urge to run, she had to fight with herself to stay and hold Sara. This wasn't about herself, this was about Sara and Sara needed her here. Sara needed her to be strong.

"He never abused me sexually, no. Only…in any other way."

Only? For Sofia that wasn't an only. If Sara's father wasn't dead, she would have liked to pay him a visit and do all the things, he did to Sara, to him. Ten times.

"He slapped you."

"Yes. And my mother. And my brother."

Sara had a brother? Sofia didn't know about that. Sara had never mentioned him. Never mentioned any contact. Like she had never mentioned her mother to Sofia in Vegas, that was why she told the nurse in hospital, Sara's parents were dead.

"The rest of the family didn't dare to do anything against him."

"My mother…I guess, she lived in her own world most times. My brother abused drugs to flee and I…I don't know."

"You all tried to cope in your own ways."

"Yes."

"But not together."

"No. We never talked about him, about fears. We kept everything to ourselves."

Sofia bit her lips. She hoped she could manage not to start crying. This was worse than any case she had worked on. It was something she had seen many times during her time as a police officer, but all those victims had been strangers. Now she knew the victim, was close to her and suffered. It wasn't possible for her to react like a trained police officer anymore, she felt with the victim. She felt with Sara.


	31. Chapter 31

"How do you feel, Sara?" Doctor Weinberg asked after she had closed her note book. They were at the end of their session.

"A little bit messed up, a little bit relieved and a lot…I can't describe it. Scared, that this session will haunt me and like I lost a huge burden after I told you things I had…some of them I didn't think of myself. They just came out like they had waited for years for their chance to get out."

"A little bit like a roller coaster."

"Yes, a roller coaster ride I enjoy despite the fear, that was with me. There'll be more stuff coming out, won't it? Things I've buried deep down for years and can't recall right away even if I want."

"Yes."

"And after every session I'll feel better."

"Yes."

"Good, let's get all the shit out of me."

"Slow down, Sara. It won't be nice and easy."

"I know, it wasn't nice and easy today, but you told me, I can overcome PTSD and I want to overcome it and have an ordinary life."

"Good, we'll work on that."

"Thanks." Sara smiled.

"Do you have a second, Lieutenant?" Doctor Weinberg asked.

"Sure."

"I'll have a look if Greg is outside. My guts tell me, the lab rat with the crazy hair isn't that far away." Sara left them alone in the office and went outside. Relieved that she had done it, that she had told her therapist and her friend, things she hadn't dare to tell anybody before. Didn't dare to think of.

"What can I do for you, doc?"

"How do you feel?"

"I'm alright."

"You heard a lot of things the last hours, a lot of not nice things."

"I did. And it wasn't an experience I enjoyed. It hurt to see how Sara suffered and I've to admit I wasn't happy that you pushed her a few times to go on talking instead of stopping her. Told her to go back and describe what she felt."

"I made her live through it again to make her understand it's over, it won't hurt her anymore, she's safe. And I encouraged her to go on, I didn't push."

"You used psychological tricks to make sure, she went on."

"Like you do with a suspect, the difference is, I do so because I want to help her. We scratched only a little bit under the surface today, there're a lot of things waiting for us. A lot of things, that will hurt her more than the things today."

"I want to be with her."

"I'm afraid you can't. She has to go through it alone. You were there today because it was her wish, I can't allow that a second time. It wouldn't help her."

"What can I do to help her."

"She'll need you after therapy to catch her when she reminds things, when she goes through the session again. She might have nightmares tonight, the next nights. She'll think a lot of her childhood, she'll dream of it, things might come up, she hadn't talk of today. She has tried to avoid thinking of it for years, decades, it will come out now and she has to cope. The fact that you're there, that a friend is there, will help her. She needs friends."

"I'm not happy you let go, with open wounds."

"It's not like she has a cut that I can stitch and send her home with a bandage over the wound. There are no bandages for her injury. Not in a physical way. Stay with her."

"I will. But what if she'll get really bad nightmares? Lost conscious again?"

"If she loses conscious and is injured because of the fall, bring her to hospital. If she isn't injured, make sure she's in a safe position and stay with her. Call me if you think, you can't handle it alone. You've got my cell phone number."

"For emergencies." Sofia nodded.

"Exactly. Sara is a fighter, it will be tough for her, but she'll be fine at the end. All she needs is patience and time."

"And a good psychologist."

"Can't hurt to have one." Doctor Weinberg smiled and opened the door for Sofia. "If you…"

"I know where to go if I need some help. Thanks."

"If you do that's good."

"I'll consider it." Sofia opened the front door to the office and blinked. Sunshine.

"Wow, detective Curtis, you look great."

Sofia didn't see Greg before he had his arms around her and lifted her up.

"How comes Hollywood didn't ask you to become a movie star? Are they all blind?"

"They did, I refused. Hey Greggo, your crazy hair is almost gone. And it's lieutenant."

"More power."

"Yes. Let me down."

"Or you'll call your detectives? I won't risk that." His eyes fell on doctor Weinberg. "Wow."

"What he meant to say was good evening, his manners are stuck in a traffic jam." Sara rolled her eyes. "Doctor Weinberg, that's Greg Sanders, CSI Las Vegas and famous for his crazy hair style. Greg, that's doctor Weinberg, the only psychologist I talk to."

"Hello, I hope you had a good drive."

"Yeah it was alright. Are you single?"

"Greg!" Sara wished the ground to open and be somewhere else. This couldn't be real. Maybe she suffered from hallu-cination. Did her friend, the shy Greg, ask her therapist if she was single? Did he try to hit on her? While Sara stood next them, was embarrassed and probably had to look for a new therapist now.

"This feels worse than the therapy before, I'm sorry doctor Weinberg, he didn't mean to ask that and you don't have to answer that. I think it's the best, Sofia and me escort Greg far, far away…to a colleague of you, who can give him some really strong medicine. Or the coup de grace. Get lost, Greg!" She tried to push Greg away.

"Do you always embarrass your friends, Mister Sanders?" Doctor Weinberg asked amused.

"Only when it's worth to embarrass them. And I can't see anything bad or embarrassing in my question. I see it more like a compliment."

"Sofia, help me, please." Sara begged. "Use your gun."

"I don't have my gun with me, I didn't think I need it when we see your therapist. The backup gun is in the car."

"I get it and shoot him. Stop him from talking until then."

"The cop inside me says, I have to stop you, the friend thinks, you're right. Damn it, a catch-22 again."

"I don't see your problem, Sara. She's your therapist, you can't ask her out. She isn't my therapist, I can ask her out. I'm sure she can show me really nice spots in L.A. as a local."

"Can we go please? Now. Pretty please."

"She hasn't answered yet, it's not polite to leave before you get an answer." Greg smiled.

"You should only ask questions when you're sure you can take any possible answer."

"I can take any possible answer."

"Just say no and we're out of this." Sara begged her therapist.

"Wednesday night, six o'clock, after my next session with Sara."

"I'll be here."

"I think I want to die. Sofia, please shoot me." This couldn't be real. Her therapist – a person took as a sensitive person until now – wanted to meet Greg. This had to be a nightmare. Or there was a hidden camera somewhere and she was about to be on TV. Reality couldn't be like this, could it?

"Can't do that, that's illegal."

"Why?" Desperately Sara looked for an explanation at her therapist. Why did she do that to her?

"I think, it can be interesting to talk to your friend."

"I hope you that for therapy reason. That he can help you out with some things, I didn't make clear. That's good, I'll talk me into believing this. It's only for my therapy, all for the therapy…"

"I take care of her." Sofia grinned at doctor Weinberg. "And him." She took Greg's hand pulled him to her car. "Bye doc."

"I'll see you around, lieutenant. And you on Wednesday, Mister Sanders."

"You can call me Greg."

"We'll see about that on Wednesday."

"Can't wait for that."

"Move it!" Sofia hustled Greg forward. She had to support Sara and get Greg away.

* * *

"I still hate you for embarrassing me." Sara grumbled at Greg. They had dinner, walked the dogs around the reservoir and were in the garden with a glass of wine.

"Why are you embarrassed?"

"She's my therapist."

"A really sexy therapist. You can't deny that."

"I don't care how she looks, she has to work with me to make me feel better."

"I know a few ways she could make me feel better."

"One more word like that and I will kill you."

"I say only the truth, she's sexy. Great legs, even in a jeans. Cute smile and beautiful eyes. Open you eyes and you'll see it too."

"My eyes and ears were wide open when you asked her if she's single. You can't do this to a therapist, especially not my therapist. Sofia, say something."

"I'm afraid, you won't like what I've to say."

"How comes?"

"I'm with Greg, she's sexy. And I'm kind of proud of him that he has changed from the shy guy to a man, who asks women if they're available and still has a boyish charm. A really good combination, Greg."

"Thanks. I hope it will work."

"She said yes."

"All for therapy, all for therapy, all for therapy." Sara repeated like a mantra.

"Of course." Greg smiled.

"We want to hear all details Thursday morning."

"A gentleman doesn't give any details about an evening with a lady."

"She isn't a lady, she's a therapist." Sara whined.

"She's both."

"That's it, I can't take it anymore. I'm in my bed, try to suffocate myself with my stuffed fox. I need some rest. You can talk a lot about your date – I hate to say that word – and then you don't have to mention it anymore tomorrow. Sleep tight." Sara got up.

"Oh come on stay, Sara." Greg said. Immediately he felt sorry. He didn't want to make Sara feel bad. That had never his intention If she really didn't like the idea that he met her therapist, he wouldn't do it. The question had popped out of his mouth, he didn't mean to say it out loud, after he did say it, it was too late and he liked the reaction he got.

"No, I need to sleep and to think. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay."

Sofia got up, stopped Sara by holding her hand and pulled her in her arms. "If you need somebody to listen you know where I am. And if you have nightmares or are scared, come over. I'm here for you the whole time, Sara."

"Thanks." Sara smiled a bit.

"Take the offer, please."

"I will. Night."

Sofia sat back next to Greg, watched Sara vanishing in the house. "So Greggo, tell me, what did you do the last two years we haven't seen each other."

"I became the best CSI in Vegas."

"Sure." Sofia laughed. "And your apartment is still a mess."

"No, I found out only guys like messy apartments, women prefer a nice place. But you know the job, there isn't much time for a private life. After Warrick's death, we were short handed for a while and worked more than one double per week."

"I heard about his death a few weeks later. I never thought McKeen would be capable to do something like that." The Undersheriff, who had promised her a career at LVPD.

"Nobody did. You can't look into the head of somebody."

"No."

"What about you, lieutenant? Why L.A. and not Vegas?"

"Because of the ocean, the forests around and I needed a new challenge."

"Some glamour, some stars, some rich men."

"Not what I'm after."

"You don't want to be a famous star?"

"No, I prefer to be a cop. That helps people more than. And I don't want a rich man neither."

"Because you're in independent woman, you can earn your own money."

"That's too. And I don't date men anymore, Greg. I might fight with you over Sara's therapist."

"What?"

"You said it yourself, she's sexy."

"You are…"

"I'm open for everything, Greg. If you need to give it a name, do it. I don't call myself a lesbian or bi or whatever. If I have to call myself something, it's open for the right person. If this person happens to be a woman, that's alright."

"Wow, you definitely changed your life."

"Yes. And I like it."

"I like your house."

"If I have some time to work on the attic, you can have a room there. Until then, we're fully booked."

"Yeah. Where's your second housemate?"

"In New York, he flew this morning." Sofia had talked to Don, he arrived on time and was with his old friends. She didn't have to worry about him. That was what he said, she still worried anyway.

"Well, you've me as the man of the house."

"And Scooby and Rantanplan."

"I'm better."

"Are you? How loud can you bark when somebody comes to my front door?"

"I can shoot this person."

"You're not supposed to have a gun with you."

"Life is full of things that are not supposed to be."

"I'll ignore that. Will you be alright on the couch?"

"Sure, no problem. I slept on the floor a few times."

"As long as there's a sleep couch there's no reason to sleep on the floor."

"True. I'll try your couch now, I'm quite tired after the short sleep and the long drive. What time is breakfast time?"

"We'll wake you up. Or the dogs will."

"I prefer to get my good morning kiss of you than your dogs."

"It's more likely that they'll kiss you."

"In that case, I wait until doctor Weinberg kisses me. What's her first name?"

"Jules."

"Jules, my angel. Nice."

"Don't mention her tomorrow or Sara will really hurt you." Sofia grinned. "Sleep tight."

"You too, lieutenant. Thanks for having me here."

"You're always welcome here, Greg." Sofia smiled and left him alone. Time to go to bed for her too.


	32. Chapter 32

**Note of author: Because this is a series with six books (but number seven is in progress) I decided to give the chapters dates so it's easier to follow through all the books (if there's somebody, who wants to read all these stories with over 1200 pages in total) **

**Tuesday, August 4th**

"It's good to have you here." Sara hugged Greg. She was back from her morning run with the dogs and found her friend a little bit sleepy on the couch. His blonde-brownish hair was spiky from the night and his brown eyes weren't completely open.

"Your dogs tried to wake me up a few times to play with them, they're not well behaved."

"Sofia's dogs, not mine."

"You took them out for a run this morning, you fed them a minute ago, they're your dogs. Plus you're here, I can't complain about the dogs to Sofia, she isn't around."

"Guess somebody is sleeping in."

"Yeah." He looked at her. "You didn't sleep a lot, did you?"

"No." Truth was, Sara didn't sleep at all.

"Because it's a new place or because of something else?"

"Therapy. I had a hard session yesterday, that was why Sofia was allowed to be there. And every time I closed my eyes, I was back in therapy or back in my childhood, going through everything again. So I made the decision not to sleep and to read. I've a few books, that might be helpful for my new job, it's good if I've read them before I start."

"It's more important that you're stable."

"Both is important. If I don't have a job, I can't pay my therapy."

"The nightshift needs a good CSI in Vegas…"

"They have to look for somebody else. I'm sorry Greg, but I can't go back to Vegas, I can't work law enforcement. Not now. I need something else than violence and crime, I can't handle a dead body every second night. I need to see something nice. The time I was in Costa Rica, in the jungle, watching animals, taking photos, showed me how much I missed the nice things in life, how much I need them to get my life back on track. You know I wasn't feeling good the last weeks in Vegas, you knew I suffered. I was missing something and I found out, I missed something good in my life."

He took her in his arms and kissed her hair, stroking her back. Yes he had seen how unhappy she had been, how she suffered, how she stood in the locker room, thoughts far, far away, fighting with demons he didn't know, but could clearly see.

"Will you come over for a visit one day?"

"Of course. It has been a while since we visited our last show on The Strip. Plus I want to have breakfast with you and the rest."

"Good, you come over and after that I'll come here. You've got a great beach, I hope we'll spend some time there."

"We will. I've been there yesterday, if you don't mind, I'd like to go somewhere else today." She pointed on her arms and legs. There were still some traces of her severe sunburn. "My skin isn't ready for two days in a row swimming."

"I noticed you burnt your skin badly not so long ago. What did you do?"

"I feel asleep one afternoon on the beach. In a bikini. When Sofia came along to wake me up, I was deep red. You know me, I refused to go to a doctor, she brought me back to the motel, I tried to heal myself with lotions, which didn't help a lot. Then I lost conscious, they called the ambulance, I ended up in hospital with two doctors: one for my skin and one for my head to find out, why I lost conscious. There were no physical reasons so I got sent to a psychologist. Doctor Weinberg. Since that day I'm in therapy. PTSD."

"Do you know where it's from?"

"I assume it has something to do with my childhood." She had never told him about her childhood, no details, nothing about the bad things, that had happened. "There were some less nicer things. I'll tell you about them when I'm ready. At the moment I'm not good at talking about them. My body has a life of it's own and starts to tremble when I talk about things, that are difficult for me. If I can't stop that I lose conscious."

"Anything I can do if you tremble?"

"You can try to calm me, take me in your arms, remember me to do my breathing exercise, that stops it usually. At least when I start doing them soon enough. You've got a crazy friend, I'm afraid."

"Not a crazy friend, a friend, who go hurt badly. If there's anything I can do to help you, let me know, okay?"

"Okay."

"I want you happy, Sara. If you can't be happy in Vegas as a CSI, I can accept that as long as it doesn't mean, we'll lose contact."

"We won't. Promise."

"Can you also promise that we'll have at least once a week contact? Otherwise there might be this former CSI, who will forget to call." He smirked.

"Sofia is a pain in the ass sometimes, isn't she?"

"I thought more of a brunette former CSI." He kissed her hair again.

"Who's that? No, serious, of course we can do that. We can have one evening per week for ourselves. Telephone, internet, whatever. A regular date."

"I always wanted a date with you." He chuckled.

"Really? That never crossed my mind." Sara poked him.

"You're really cute together." Sofia came in shorts and top in the living room.

"Nice legs."

"Thanks. You touch them, they'll kick you. Anybody up for a breakfast?"

"I need a shower first." Sara got up. "Scooby and Rantanplan are fine for the morning."

"Thanks. Greg?"

"If I can take the shower with Sra I'm fine too. Otherwise I need a shower for myself."

"You can use Don's bathroom, that's alright with him. I talked to him this morning, he says hello and we don't have to worry about him. He has a date with Lady Liberty tonight."

"I thought you're not supposed to go there anymore."

"He's a cop, Greg, he can go there."

"Connections are helpful. Okay, shower time and after that, we'll have breakfast?"

"Yes. Do you guys have any plans for the day?" Sara asked.

"No."

"I want to spend time with you, that's why I'm here."

"Would it be alright with you if we go to Angeles National Forest? I'd like to have a few walks there before I start my job. Know more of the forest. We can have a breakfast at a café, take a picnic and walk around with the dogs. There's plenty of shade, so my skin will be alright too."

"Sounds good to me. And beach tomorrow."

"You only want to see girls in bikini, Greg. Yeah, we can do that. At one time this week we should look for a car for you, Sara."

"Yes mom."

"Don't mom me."

"I've got one in mind."

"Good. Twenty minutes, girls?"

"Twenty minutes and we're ready to take off." Greg poked Sofia and made her squeak. "That was for the girls, man."

"If I was a man with legs like these, you'd become gay, Greggo. You drooled." She laughed and blinked at him. It was like they had never been apart. Her first concern, if they would all go along, was forgotten. They had more fun than ever together.

* * *

Sitting together with friends in the evening after a day out in the forest felt good. It felt like you had done a lot, like you worked out and deserved to put your feet up. Sara did that when they came home, had something to drink on the table and talked about the day, the things that had happened to them the last two years, Greg told them some new lab gossip. At one point, Sara was so tired, her eyes shut and she fell in a kind of light sleep. She could hear her friends talking, heard every word, but she couldn't answer or react anymore. It was like she drifted on their words away.

Conversation. Laughter. The sound of glass on glass, a party, a celebration. A lot of happy people, all laughing, from hour to hour more and more. Glass shattered, more laughter. Stupid jokes, not funny jokes, dirty jokes. Memories of old days, talking about politics, the war and a demonstration. Vietnam was all around, too many men had lost their lives for a senseless war. And there were more, more wars, more soldiers. You had to stop them. Killers. The conversation became more aggressive. What now? What to do? More glass shattered. Nobody laughed anymore. Nobody was there. Only the little girl, she was running, tried to escape. Fast, hurry, find a place to hide, find a place to be safe, find a place…something grabbed her from behind. A huge hand. She knew what that meant. She hadn't been fast enough, she wasn't able to hide, she was caught…

"Nooooo!" Sara yelled. She found herself in her bed, trembling. Her eyes wide open, she tried to concentrate on the street light, that was shinning through her window. Breathing exercise. She needed to inhale. Slowly. Deep. And exhale. Damn, she trembled still. Again. Relax, Sara. It was a dream. You were sleeping. Only a dream. Not reality. Not this time.

When she had her body under control again, she sat up. There was no way she would go back to sleep. She knew this dream, she knew it was only the beginning. She didn't want to think about the rest, she didn't want to remember all those things that had happened. With still trembling hands she took her book and started to read. Angeles forest had a wide variety of…what if the dreams weren't dreams? What if it happened, no, it was over and she was awake now. No, more nightmares, back to the book. Walking tracks are often used by…she had smelled the barbecue, she had smelled the alcohol, the sweet smell of marihuana. It was so real.

She put the book aside. It was impossible to concentrate. Sitting here with eyes open, she knew, it was only a matter of time before she fell asleep again. She was tired, her body wanted the rest, wanted her to sleep. The problem was, she was too scared. She knew, the nightmares came back as soon as she closed her eyes. They crept up into her head, took control and she had no chance to fight. She couldn't help herself.

To stay awake she went to her window, leant on the frame and watched Silver Lake in darkness. Some lights gave her an idea, who was still awake. She couldn't see the reservoir, her room was on the other side of the house. Why were the nightmares there? Why did they haunt her again? She had lived for many years with nightmares, then she had managed to bury them, ignored them. Suddenly they were back, first a little bit, after the SWAT team got her out of the room. Now, that she talked about what happened in her childhood, memories came back, no matter if she was awake or asleep. She was at the mercy of her own dreams.

"Didn't we have an agreement about nightmares and fear?"

The voice scared her for a moment. She was alone in her room, at least that was, what she had thought. Sara turned and found Sofia in her room.

"Sorry, I knocked twice, you didn't answer so I came in. I heard you scream."

"A little nightmare."

"A little?"

"Maybe a little bit bigger."

"You yelled, Sara. And you can't tell me, you slept last night. You were tired the whole day."

"As soon as I close my eyes, there are pictures…I don't want to sleep anymore."

"You need to sleep."

"I can't."

Sofia went to her friend, pulled her in her arms. "Close your eyes and do your breathing exercise, you're trembling, Sara."

"Shit, not again." Or was it still? She had no idea. Like she had no control over her body.

"Try to relax." Sofia stroke softly over Sara's back.

"Maybe I'll go crazy."

"No, you won't. PTDS has nothing with craziness to do. You have a trauma. And gooseflesh. Why don't you go to bed?"

"I can't."

"Okay, come with me." She pulled Sara with her. If Sara didn't want to sleep in her own bed, she would get her in her bed. "Come in." She pulled away her blanket.

Sara looked blank at her.

"Oh please, don't tell me you really think, I would try anything. I want you to sleep, not to have sex with me. You need a few hours of sleep."

"Sorry, I…"

"No explanation, no apologies, just get in the bed."

Sara got into Sofia's bed. The blonde turned off the light and followed Sara.

"Usually I don't let people with cold feet in my bed, you're an exception." She pulled the brunette in her arms. "And now you're safe. You're with your safe person, who is the best lieutenant in town. No more nightmares."

"You think, they're scared of you."

"Of course they are. Are you comfortable?"

"Yes. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"When…how did I go into my bed? I can't remember that I went there."

"You didn't, you fell asleep in the garden, Greg carried you upstairs. He felt like Hercules."

"My hero. And you made sure, he didn't carry me on his couch or invited himself in my bed."

"I didn't have to do that." Sofia found a hand of Sara and took it. "Close your eyes, Sara."

"What if the nightmares…"

"If you get the nightmare or pictures of them back, start with your breathing exercise. And talk about it if that helps. Hold on to me, whatever it takes to make you more comfortable. If you can't sleep at all, close your eyes and try to relax. Your body needs a rest."

"I know."

"Good. I'm here if you need me and I won't sleep until you're asleep."

"You need some sleep yourself."

"I'll get my sleep."

Sara closed her eyes. Sleep. It sounded so easy to sleep. But what if the nightmares came back? If they were only waiting around the corner to surprise her again? Grab her, take over and let Sara suffer. Although, she hated a little bit to admit this, she felt better with Sofia around. The arms of the blonde gave her a safe feeling somehow.


	33. Chapter 33

**Wednesday, August 5th**

"Awww, what a cute couple."

Sofia opened her eyes carefully. There was too much light in her room.

"Sleepy Beauty and Snow White."

"Get lost, Greg!" Sofia grumbled.

"You want to be alone with Sara? I can understand that."

"Good. Take the dogs out for a walk. Two blocks down south is a bakery, get us some something fresh for breakfast."

"Do you want breakfast in bed? As a dessert."

"Can't hear you closing the door from the outside!"

"Ouch. Bitchy. Later ladies."

Sofia sighed. She didn't order a wake-up call for today. It was too early – no matter what time it was. They had no plans, none for the early morning. There was no reason to wake them up. Okay, probably Greg had looked for Sara, didn't find her in her bed and went to the next room.

Slowly Sofia opened her eyes again and found brown eyes only a few inches away looking at her.

"Good morning." She smiled.

"Morning." Sara was still in Sofia's arms and as far as the blonde knew, she had been there the whole night. Whenever she woke up, the brunette was in her arms and she was asleep. Twice she had woken her up because Sara had nightmares, after a few calming words, breathing exercise and a little conversation, it had been better.

"There are less shadows under your eyes."

"I slept a few hours."

"I know. I woke up a few times and you were asleep."

"You checked on me."

"Of course, that's the duty of a safe person." Sofia stroke softly over Sara's cheek. "You need some more sleep."

"You sent Greg to get breakfast."

"Yes and after we had breakfast, we should take the dogs and go down to the beach. You can sleep there, in the shade of the sunshade and I make sure, you're fine."

"Are you sure Greg won't try to do that?"

"We'll do that together, even better."

Sara's eyes became absent for a second. "Sofia, about last night, when you told me to go into your bed, I didn't want to …I didn't think…"

"It's alright, Sara."

"I wasn't thinking straight."

"Honey, you thought too straight, that was the problem." Sofia blinked at her. "Or you realized, you want me all over your body, which you can't allow because it's wrong and you have to push me away otherwise you'll rot in hell."

"I'm a San Francisco woman, I don't believe in stupid stories like that."

"As a San Fran chick, I'm sure you tried all the San Fran flower power stuff yourself."

"Let me out of your arms, I want to have a shower before I get breakfast." Sara tried to push Sofia's arm away.

"You didn't answer my question." Sofia held her down.

"Because you didn't ask a question. There was no question mark at the end of your sentence. It was very hearable that you ended your sentence with a point and I don't have to answer a comment."

"If I put a question mark at the end, will you answer?"

"I'll tell you it's not your bloody business."

"Exactly what I expected."

"Let go off me."

Sofia put her arm down. "I'll never do anything you don't want, Sara. And if you ask me to let you go, I'll do that. I hope you know that."

Sara stopped, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at Sofia. There were no signs of tease or play in the blue eyes, only concern.

"Damn it." Sara bent down and pulled Sofia in her arms, burying her face in the long blonde hair. "Of course I know that."

"Good. And if I ask you to promise me you'll come here tonight in case you can't sleep or have a nightmare again, can you promise me this?"

"I was kind of hoping you'd offer me to stay here right from the beginning. Without having a nightmare or hours of missed out sleep."

"You're were invited this second. Click I LIKE if you agree."

"You're the crazy one, not me." Sara hugged Sofia one more time and got up. "I skip the shower, we go to the beach. Instead I'll start the coffee machine."

"Good idea. I get ready for the beach. Maybe I see some nice women there."

"Don't forget, the place in your bed is taken."

"There are so many other places…the carpet, the kitchen table, the hammock…"

"Can't hear you." Sara put her hands on her ears and left the room.

"Doesn't matter, I'm not serious." Sofia said quietly. She had spent a night with Sara in her arms and the brunette would stay another night here in Sofia's bed. Was that a good idea? After all, Sofia wasn't sure if and what she felt for Sara. Was this a good way to find it out? Or did she mess it up big time by sharing a bed with the brunette? On the other hand, her friend had slept here, she was able to push the worst nightmares away. That was more important than Sofia and her mixed up feelings.

* * *

"You look exhausted."

"Thanks, did you learn at university how to start the perfect conversation?" Sara shot back dryly and let herself drop on her favorite chair, watching her therapist. At least she didn't look like she had dressed up for the dinner with Greg. Or whatever they had in mind. Greg hadn't mentioned the meeting the whole day, but she knew, he had thought of it a few times. She had seen it.

"Not enough sleep and you're still mad because I'll meet your boyfriend later."

"You mention that meeting again, I'll get up and leave."

"Bitchy."

"Isn't there a web page where you can complain about your therapist? Like she isn't helpful, dates your friend and violated all rules?"

"Has a muffin and fresh coffee for her late afternoon patient." Doctor Weinberg got two coffee to go out of her fridge and two muffins. "Iced coffee for a change."

"You can't buy me with coffee and muffins."

"Banana choc cherry."

"Maybe I can think about this page again."

"Maybe." She put the coffee and the muffin in front of Sara.

"We won't have proper therapy?"

"We will, but first I want to know what happened after Monday afternoon."

"I didn't sleep the night, every time I closed my eyes I saw pictures I didn't want to see and when I kind of slept, there were nightmares. So I made the decision, I have to stay awake. Yesterday evening, when Sofia, Greg and me sat in the garden, I fell asleep outside, he carried me in my bed and guess what happened: nightmares again. I yelled so loud that Sofia woke up. She came to me to see if I'm alright. After I told her, I won't go back to my bed, she got me in her bed, where I slept with a few not so bad nightmare. What does that tell you, Misses Therapist?"

"You trust your safe person."

"That's it? What about some comments a la Freud?"

"I'm not a psychoanalyst, sorry. I don't see sex in every thing you tell me."

"If you would, how would our therapy look like?"

"If I were a good psychoanalyst I'd send you to another therapist, one who can help you. You're not the type of patient for psychoanalysis anyway."

"What kind of patient am I?"

"A hungry one." Doctor Weinberg smiled, took the empty plate and coffee mug away. "How did you handle the tremble?"

"Sofia had to tell me once I need to do my breathing exercise, the other times I was able to do it myself. And I've the feeling it helps me more and more."

"Good."

"You know what was creepy yesterday?" Sara asked when doctor Weinberg was back at her place.

"What?"

"When we were in the garden yesterday, I drifted away, First I heard only Sofia's and Greg's voices, knew I was with them, then that changed, suddenly I was in San Francisco, I heard a lot of voices, I heard a party, smelled marihuana, heard conversations about Vietnam. It was like I was in a time capsule. Suddenly the party was over, it was like there was a fight, I was running but a huge hand grabbed me from behind and I woke up."

"That was the time when you yelled."

"Yes."

"You know where and when you haven been?"

"I think, it was…middle to late seventies. My parents were hippies, they had a B&B and I remember garden parties, meeting with their friends about war, demonstrations and things like that."

"Sometimes those parties didn't end peaceful."

"No. And often when my dad was drunk he…became more violent."

"That scared you."

"I knew it, felt it. As soon as he broke the first glass, I knew it was about time to find a very good place to hide. Unfortunately he knew the house too and all the spots I could hide." Sara swallowed. There was another picture in her head, how she tried to make herself very small and hide in the cupboard. Without success. So many pictures, so many stories and she couldn't think of any good one, only bad ones.

* * *

"What will the two lonely hearts do with their evening?" Sofia asked when she and Sara came back home. The blonde had waited for Sara in front of the office and walked with her and the dogs home.

"I need chocolate."

"I offer chocolate cake after pizza with a movie in bed."

"Sounds good to me. When I fall asleep I'm at the right place and nobody has to carry me."

"She referred to my bed as the right place for her to be, can I have that written down somewhere please? This has to be my lucky day."

"How about on your body with your own blood?"

"You want to watch Dracula? Okay, we can do that. After this." Sofia pulled Sara in her arms and hugged her. "You're pale, Sara. Have been the whole day and it got worse after therapy."

"It wasn't easy, started nice with a muffin and iced coffee, but then she got me talking a lot. And I've the feeling, she isn't done, that there are things, she wants to hear and haven't heard yet. Things, I've buried deep, deep down and I'm damn sure, I've got a good reason why I put them so far away."

"She'll get them out carefully, will make sure, you won't say and remember more than you can handle at one time."

"I hope so. I'm scared."

"Do you want me to wait outside all the time to be there if you need me?"

"No, I've to do that alone. Doctor Weinberg made that clear, the session with you was a one time experience. From now on I've to make it on my own. And you have to work."

"Some things are more important than work."

"Chocolate for example. You get the movies, I get the food."

"Alright." Sofia got a few movies out of the living room, took them upstairs and switched on the TV. Because they had talked about Dracula, Sofia had took the movie here. But she wasn't sure, if horror was a genre, Sara really wanted to watch at the moment. Maybe something funny was better. Something, that took her mind of the therapy and her past.

"Pizza, choc and a bottle of juice. We need at least one healthy thing."

"Sleep is healthy."

"And it makes you not wait the whole time for the front door to open."

"Are you waiting for Greg?"

"Yes."

"Because you miss him or because he's out with doctor Weinberg?"

"Both."

"Which one more?"

"No comment."

"Cute." Sofia smiled and pulled Sara in her arm. "See the bright side of it: if he makes it into her heart, he'll be in L.A. more often."

"I don't want to think of a bright side, I don't want to think of any side of them."

"Do you really mind they met today?"

"It's strange."

"Because she's your therapist?"

"Because I heard how Greg tried to pick up a woman. A woman, who is my therapist. But I think it had been strange too if she was a stranger. I'm sure she knows how far to go, when to stop."

"Maybe she said yes to teach him a lesson. You know, you've to show guys right from the start what happens when they're too cheeky. If she has wit, she takes him to a gay club, where a lot of men will try to hit on him because he's so cute."

"I like that picture more than the other one. But I doubt she'll do that to him. They'll have somewhere and…I don't want to think about them!" Sara shook her head.

"Then think about the sexy blonde in whose bed you'll be tonight."

"Lieutenant Lascivious."

"Don't put ideas in my head, prey. Uhm, Sara."

"Prey? What are you? The tiger?"

"Meow. Wanna be my mouse?"

"No, I think I'll be the vet."

"You've got a certain talent for ruining fantasies, Sara."

"You mean, if you were a guy, the question what's up wouldn't be good now?"

"Yes." Sofia laughed hearty.

"I won't ask then. What movie did you choose?"

"The devil wears Prada."

"No Dracula?"

"No, I think we both can use something to laugh about. And maybe Charlie's Angels."

"You want to stare at sexy woman."

"If I want to stare a sexy woman…I can go to the beach." Sofia changed her sentence in the last second.

"You learn. I know what you wanted to say, but you didn't say it. You've learnt."

"I wanted to say, if I want to see a sexy woman, I take a look in the mirror, smug bitch."

"Yes, you'll see a smug bitch in the mirror, that's right." Sara got her arm around Sofia and placed her head on the shoulder of the blonde while she grabbed a slice of pizza with the other hand. This seemed to be a good position to watch a movie and be safe on any nightmares.


	34. Chapter 34

**Thursday, August 6th**

When Sofia woke up this morning, Sara was still asleep in Sofia's arms. It was obvious the brunette was dreaming, her eyelids moved, every now and then came a quiet noise out of her mouth and her arms and legs twitched. It didn't look like a good dream, but it wasn't a nightmare, not one, that made her scream. She had gone through a lot of things as a child, had never worked them out, now they all came back and tried to overpower her.

Sofia thought about her own childhood. Having a mother, who worked in the law enforcement she knew from the early days, there were a lot of bad people outside her own house. She knew, it was dangerous in certain places of the cities, that you better not walk around alone in the dark and lock your door. She had heard conversations of her mother with her colleagues about burglars, murderer and rapists, but they had always been a kind of far away. Little Sofia knew, when she came home, she was safe. She could lock the door and she had her parents, who did everything to make her feel safe and secure. They had never yelled at her, never raised a hand or punished her. Not as a child. She got in some trouble with her parents as a teenager, then again every teenager does so. And even when they yelled at each other because Sofia stayed out the whole night or she screamed at her parents, they were unfair and she hated them, they all knew, it was only words said in passion. They were a unit, there had never be a time, when a stranger or anybody out of the family could have done anything to make them not to fight for each other. She had a save and full of love childhood. The opposite of Sara.

How could you trust somebody when you never learnt to trust somebody? When the people, you think will protect you and save you, hurt you, abuse you? Could you ever be able to trust somebody? Feel safe? You can only do things you have practiced, learnt. It was impossible to wake one morning up and make the decision you can be fluent in Chinese. You need to learn it, as an adult it takes ages until you're fluent. Wasn't it the same with trust? Could Sara ever trust somebody?

"You're staring at me."

Sofia shook her head slightly. "Sorry, I was lost in a thought."

"A nice one?"

"About being fluent in Chinese." She didn't want to tell her about all her thoughts, that wasn't a good way to start the day.

"You want to learn Chinese?"

"Maybe one day. How did you sleep?"

"I had bad dreams, but not that bad that I woke up and screamed – as you may have noticed."

"Whenever I woke up, you slept and yes I noticed, you didn't have a calm sleep."

"Better than the two nights before. The only thing that confuses me is, I dream of therapy, every time I have been there, I dream about it in the night. Only at night, I answer different than in reality."

"How different?"

"I blame myself. I know it's a lie, but whenever doctor Weinberg asks me anything I answer in a way that makes it obvious, I'm the bad one, that I deserve, what happened to me. I chose to have it that way." Sara bit on her lips. That was quite a confession early in the morning. She hadn't thought about it, it popped out of her mouth before she was able to think and stop her from doing this.

"I'm not a therapist so I can't tell you why do dream this, but I can tell you, nothing what happened was your fault, Sara. You were a child, you had to be protected and the people, whose job it had been to protect you, failed. Worse, they harmed you. You were a child, you didn't ask for the bad things that happened, you wanted parents, who loved you, who were there for you. That and nothing else was what you deserved. Loving parents and a childhood not filled with fear and anxiety."

"Seems like I don't see it that way. Or my subconscious."

"Then it's time to kick your subconscious in the ass! If your therapist doesn't do that, I'll do it. Just have to figure out how to do that."

"If I find a way, I'll let you know." Sara smiled a bit. "How are you sharing your bed?"

"I'm fine. In fact, I like sharing my bed. And I'm not talking about sex, I talk about the feeling that there's somebody next to you, you can snuggle on. It's a good feeling to feel the heat of a human body next to you, makes me always sleep better. So if you start to worry that you do anything I don't like when you're here, you're wrong. You can stay as long as you want in my bed. I found out the last two nights, you don't kick or slap me, means, you're good in bed."

Sara chuckled a bit. "Thanks. I think. Let's get up I'm hungry."

"Why don't we call for breakfast service?" Sofia smirked and got her cell phone. "We've a butler in the house, he can bring the breakfast upstairs, don't you think?"

"If he's here."

"He is. He came home around ten."

"How do you know?"

"I was awake while my girl was sound asleep."

"Your girl?"

"You're in my bed, you're my girl."

"Better than prey."

Sofia blinked at Sara and dialed Greg's number and turned her cell phone on speakers. After a few seconds she heard his voice.

"Good morning lieutenant."

"You sound awake, that's good."

"I had a walk with your dogs, they complained that you don't take care of them."

"That's your job, you share a room with them. And it's also your job to get some breakfast to the lovely lady in my bed and me."

"Can I join you in bed for breakfast?"

"For once."

"I'll be with you soon."

She put her cell phone away. "See, that's how you have breakfast when you're on holidays. A young man serves it."

"You're a little Napoleon." Sara left the bed, opened the curtains and the windows. Immediately the room was filled with sunshine. "I love the view you have. To see the reservoir in the morning when you get up, almost like seeing the ocean."

"Did you ever have lived in a house close to the ocean?"

"No. The B&B of my parents were a few miles away but on a clear day you could see the ocean and when the wind was right, you smelled it too. I liked that. I like water. Another reason why I don't want to go back to Vegas. Maybe I'll start to surf again."

"I'll be on the beach and watch you."

"Why don't you join me?"

"I never tried to surf, when I'm in the water, I do scuba diving."

"Really?"

"Yes. I've got a license for open water."

Sara cocked her head. "So why don't I teach you how to surf and you teach me how to dive?"

"You need to have some training with dive teachers first but after that, we can go diving together, yes. I always wanted to go on holidays at a place, where you can dive. The big dream is the Great Barrier Reef."

"I'm sure they've great waves there too." Sara got back into bed. "Maybe as a treat after therapy."

"Yes, you deserve something after that."

"And so do you. I involve you a lot in this and I feel guilty for that."

"No need to feel guilty. I do that because I want to do it. When you're not fine, you can't work, you don't work, you don't get paid, you have no money, you don't pay rent what means, I can't make my accountant happy. See, it's all pure selfishness."

"Sure." Sara laughed and squeezed Sofia's hand shortly. "You are smug and selfish."

"That's me."

A knock on the door announced Greg, who opened the door right after he knocked and entered the room with a big tray.

"I can smell coffee!" Sara sighed happy.

"And fresh bagels." Sofia added.

"And most of all you're both happy to see me." Greg grinned, placed the tray on the lap of the women and sat on the other side.

"Of course we are. Thanks Greg."

"You look rested, Sara. The nights next to Sofia are good for you."

"Yeah, she makes me sleep."

"I'm so boring, Sara fell asleep in the middle of the movie we watched. I hope your date was more exciting."

"Please, I'm having breakfast." Sara complained. She didn't want to hear anything about Greg's last night; especially not when she had breakfast.

"She's so sensitive when it comes to her therapist. Yes, we had a nice evening, dinner in Malibu and left the place around half past nine. In separate cars to different places, Sara. You can stop worrying. We talked a lot about you, how I can help you, even when I'm in Vegas. I got a lot of instructions, like to call you every time when you had therapy and at least once a week when you don't have therapy. I've to invite you to Vegas and visit you here as much as possible. Your therapist worries a lot about you."

"A lot of talk about another woman makes it not a successful date." Sofia said.

"It was nice, she's not only sexy, she's also funny and very smart. And doesn't behave like you imagine a therapist when she's off the clock."

"She also doesn't behave like one when she's working, not all the same. That's why I go to the sessions."

"And she hopes, you'll keep on coming."

"She knows I will."

"Will you see her again?" Sofia was more interested in the results of the evening. Was the dinner a one time thing or would there be a second dinner?

"I plan to be there when Sara is done with her therapy tomorrow morning to spend time with her and you, so I guess I'll see Jules again."

"Aww, he calls her Jules."

"Yes, the doctor Weinberg thing was too formal for dinner. Besides, she doesn't like it when she got called 'doctor' all the time. She prefers a Miss Weinberg over her title."

"There's hope it will be more than one day."

"Sofia, she's in L.A., I'm in Vegas."

"You can move to L.A., we'll find a place for you. The attic."

"The attic isn't big enough for their ten children, the dog, cat and whatever else you need for a perfect family. And after you seem to plan something like that for them, Sofia, you need to provide a huge place. You have to move to the attic and they take over your house."

"You know how to destroy fun, Sara. You're a destroyer of happiness."

"Thanks."

"I'll keep you posted if there's anything new you need to know. Until then, we should talk about something else or Sara will kill us. She looks very often at her knife and I'm a little bit scared to end up in slices on her bagel."

"Not the worst idea. You'd be quiet and he won't date my therapist anymore."

"Honey, I won't let you hurt him, I'm a lieutenant, I'll protect him."

"I kill you first to have you out of the way."

"You gave me a reason to cuff you. Unfortunately, when I cuff you here, I've got other things in mind than dragging you to the department. I'd prefer to ask Greg to leave the room and interrogate you all by myself for a long, long time. Not exactly the way I've to behave as a good lieutenant. The best lieutenant. But I'm sure the second best lieutenant would do that and sometimes it's alright to be the second best." Sofia grinned.

"I've got breakfast in bed with crazy people, share the house with them and the rest of the day. I need to talk about that in therapy tomorrow." Sara rolled her eyes and leant back. She wasn't keen of hearing that Greg might meet her therapist again, but in the end, there was nothing she could do against it and it was nothing, that should affected her therapy. Plus she was supposed to be happy if Greg found somebody he liked. Somebody, who made him come to L.A. more often.


	35. Chapter 35

"Are you dating couples now?"

Sofia turned around and almost dropped the tray with the coffee and cake. She, Sara and Greg were in Venice, had walked around the boardwalk and found a little café for a break. While Sara and Greg saved the table, was Sofia at the counter to get their treats when she heard the familiar voice.

"Hello Ellen." Her ex. Not exactly the person she wanted or expected to meet here.

"You didn't change your taste in coffee and sweets."

"No." Sofia had problems not to be mad with herself. Ellen hat broken her heart last year, had done everything you could possible do wrong in a relationship, Sofia had sworn herself never ever to talk to her again, to avoid every place, her former lover could be. And what happened? She stood right in front of her, tall, sporty, long black hair softly moving in the wind, her eyes – Sofia knew they had the color of the water in the Caribbean – hidden behind shades, the red lips full, eased the soft smile on her face, a red top, washed out jeans shorts. She looked great, very good and that she thought so, was what Sofia made mad at herself. She shouldn't see that, it shouldn't matter to her.

"You look great, Sofia."

"Thanks. You too." And I shouldn't tell you because you know it, you play with it and you know, I think so. Stupid me, Sofia cursed inside.

"Don't you want to introduce me to your friends?"

"Why?"

"Because it would be nice and polite."

Damn it, there was no way she could deny a wish with a smile like that.

"Coffee please." Ellen ordered without letting her eyes go off Sofia, who felt the eyes on her. She felt how her skin began to feel like a million bugs crawled over it.

"And you still smell good." Ellen whispered when she leant closer to Sofia to pay her coffee. "I like this perfume on you."

Sofia was sure, it was more than obvious that she wasn't acting the way she wanted to act. She swallowed. Where was the emergency exit?

"So, who are your friends?"

"I'll introduce you." While she said these words she regretted it. She knew she was making a mistake, she knew, she did everything wrong, she saw it, watched like you stared at an accident or anything else bad, you can't take your eyes off. And there was no chance she could do anything else.

They went back to the little table.

"Sara, Greg, that's Ellen. Ellen, that are Sara and Greg, we used to work together in Las Vegas."

"Visitors of Sin City, very interesting." Ellen smiled.

Sofia took the chair next to Sara, not sure if she wanted to sit between her and her ex because she didn't want Sara close to Ellen or Ellen away from Sara.

"They were right, women in L.A. do all look great." Greg said. "Are you with the police too?"

"No, actually I'm a model and an actress."

"Really? Wow."

"Both not that exciting and successful. I've never had a main part in a block buster, but maybe it will happen one day. Are you with the police?"

"CSI."

"The smart people on TV."

"Don't believe what they show you on TV, the life as a CSI isn't as they show it."

"They need to overplay it to make people watch it. Weren't you a CSI too, Sofia?"

"A long time ago, yes."

"I always told her, with her looks she could make a lot of money in Hollywood, but she prefers to catch bad guys, a sign of her good character."

"You know each other longer?"

"We had a really nice time as a couple last year. I just thought of that time a few days ago, it's a shame we ended it. But you never know, there's no reason not to try something good again."

Sofia swallowed hard. She wanted the tell her ex to leave them alone, to stay out of her life. Anything that made her disappear. Instead she wasn't able to say a single word. What a poor show she was. Why couldn't she tell Greg and Sara the truth? Why didn't she do anything to prove, Ellen wasn't as nice as she pretended to be.

"What a pity, I need to go." Ellen checked her watch. "It was nice to meet you. Why don't you all come to the MIX tonight? It's two for one night, you always liked these nights, Sofia. We can meet there, talk and dance a bit. Like in the good old days. And Sara and Greg see the nightlife of WeHo. You never know, there might be a star around."

"I'm not sure…" Sara started.

"I'd like to see a club here, sounds good to me." Greg agreed. "Sofia?"

"Sure." Why did she say sure when she wanted to say no way? Why were her mouth not doing what it was supposed to do? Say the right words.

"Great, I'll see there around ten." Ellen bent over and kissed Sofia shortly on the lips. "Bye."

This was all wrong, Sofia knew it and she knew, she had no chance to change it.

* * *

"I shouldn't be here." Sara complained when Greg took her arm and guided her in the club. "I've to get up at seven."

"We'll stay two hours or so and you'll have six hours of sleep. Come on, Sara, I know in Vegas you slept less than six hours between shifts and you did that more than once. You lived like that for weeks."

"L.A. was supposed to be better, better means more sleep."

"You can sleep in on Saturday, I'll bring you some breakfast to bed. Wow, nice club." Greg looked at the club. It wasn't that dark, there were a lot of rainbow colored lights on the walls and mirror balls on the ceiling.

Sara let Greg push her to the bar, holding on to Sofia, who was quiet and followed them.

"Cocktails, ladies?"

"Pina Colada."

"Sofia?"

"Something strong."

"That's a great answer."

Sofia wasn't sure. She agreed more with Sara's comment, she shouldn't be here.

"I can't see any stars." Greg gave them their cocktails.

"They always come here later." All three turned. Ellen was there, in a skin tight leather outfit.

"Catwoman." Greg grinned.

"Meow."

"Do you want to drink something?"

"Later, I prefer a dance?" She took Sofia's glass, nipped on it, took the hands of the blonde. "Come on, let's dance. I'm sure you're still a great dancer." Without the chance to disagree or stop her, Sofia got pulled to the dance floor. Unable to tell her legs to turn around and go back to her friends, she was caught on the dance floor, her eyes on Ellen, who started to dance in the rhythm of the music, her body close to Sofia's, touching her.

"Come on, Fia."

Fia. She had called her Fia. All the time Sofia had melted like ice cream on a hot summer day. Ellen knew that, she used that, she played with Sofia. She knew, the blonde had no chance to disagree or send her away. Sofia was helpless. She was prey.

"I missed dancing with you." Ellen whispered in Sofia's ear, kept her lips close.

"You…dance good. Still." That wasn't what she wanted to say, She wanted to tell her to get lost. To leave her alone. That it was over and that it was Ellen's fault.

"Thanks, so do you. I always liked the way you move. Not only on the dance floor."

All wrong, so wrong. She felt how she got dragged into something, she didn't want to be. And couldn't do anything against it. If nobody rescued her she was lost.

* * *

"Would you dance like that with an ex?" Greg asked Sara, watching Sofia and Ellen on the dance floor.

"No."

"Me neither. Looks like Sofia has a really good taste when it comes to woman. At least when you judge the look."

"You don't like the rest?" Sara asked.

"No. I believe she's a model, she has the body for it, but for me, she isn't attractive."

"Because she dances with a woman?"

"Sara, did you forget that most men think it's very sexy when women dance with each other? Our fantasy is always very …wild when we see that. No, I mean her eyes."

"Nice blue."

"Nice blue and no feelings. When I look into your eyes, I see a woman, who fights for others, who can't stand when something bad happens to others. When I look into her eyes, I see only the concern about herself. Maybe you have to be like that to become famous in Hollywood."

"She isn't famous."

"She's closer to famous than we are. Then again, we don't want to be famous, do we?"

"No. But Sofia seemed to like a model lover."

"They're quite a couple, nice contrast."

"Maybe she'll fall for her ex again."

"You never know. There had been once something she liked about her, sometimes an old attraction comes back. I still think you're cute and sexy."

"The difference is, you don't ask me out for a date anymore, you tell me, you want to see me for dinner and we meet like friends do."

"Yeah. Am I not a lucky man to have a friend like you? Finally back in the same country and once a week on the phone." He pulled Sara in his arms. "Ellen thinks, we're a couple, why don't we behave like a couple and go dancing? After all, that's the reason why we're here. To dance and have some fun. Do you want to have fun with me, Sara?"

"Greggo, girls just wanna have fun, you know that." She kissed his cheek and pulled him towards the dance floor. Of course she wanted to dance with him, she liked dancing and she knew, he was a good dancer.

* * *

"Let's go home." Greg got his arm around Sara.

"What about Sofia?" She hadn't seen the blonde for a while, most of the time, Sofia had been dancing with Ellen.

"I think, she'll go home too soon – just not her home. For me, it doesn't look like Ellen will let her go anywhere else than in her bed."

Sara bit her lips. She had no idea why she was disappointed. Sofia had every right to enjoy her evening, she had no obligations, there was nothing wrong, when she had fun with her ex or reconnected with her. And Sara couldn't asked her to stay home, to be with her, to make her feel safe. She was an adult, she had to handle her problems alone.

Greg had driven them to the club, he drank no alcohol, so there was no problem for them to get home. They let the dogs out, walked them around the block before they returned to the house.

"Do you want some company?" Greg offered. He wasn't as much involved in Sara's nightmares as Sofia was, but he knew, his friend had nightmares and problems to be alone at night. That there were many things, that haunted her.

"I'll try it alone, thanks. I might take your offer in case I wake up because of a nightmare. Do you have some space on the couch?"

"For you is always a place and I'd also join you in your bed, if that's more comfortable."

"That will be better." She kissed his cheek. "Thanks Greg. I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad too and if you want, we can not only see each other once a week on the internet for a chat, we can also meet once a month. We both have flexible work times, but I'm sure we can find two days in a row, we both have off and one month you come to Vegas, the other one I come to L.A.."

"We've got a date."

"I love dates with you, Sara. Like I love you." He kissed her forehead and held her. "And I hope, you'll get better soon. You don't have to tell me what happened, you told me a few things. I can't understand why your past can't stay away, has to torture you, but I'm sure, you will get over it, will be fine soon."

"I've got a good therapist."

"That is what I hope."

"You should know, you dated her."

"I had dinner with her, that doesn't qualifies me to judge if she's a good therapist or not. What I can tell you is, that she's a nice person, a very nice company for a dinner and I wouldn't mind to see her again. If you weren't her client, I think, you could be friends. She likes you, that is what I can tell you and I know, you like her too."

"For a therapist she's quite alright." Sara smirked. "If you want to date her, it's alright with me. Might be complicated in case you want to go out with her and me or have a party with all of us, but we'll work something out if that happens. In a pinch I'll get my name of her patient list, your friendship is more important than therapy."

"Therapy is important to make you better, we'll see what will happen. Sleep tight, Dear, and don't hesitate to wake me up if you need company. I can't hear you yelling like Sofia could, I need to trust you, that you'll come to me. Can you promise me to do so?"

"I promise. Good night Greg." She kissed him again and went upstairs. Rantanplan and Scooby laid on Sofia's bed, what made Sara smile. If you go out and don't come home on time, your dogs will sleep in your bed. Should Ellen made the decision, she wants to join Sofia in her bed, they had to get the dogs out their way first. Somehow Sara liked that.

* * *

She hadn't been asleep for a while, not long enough for her dream to turn into a nightmare when she felt how two arms got around her and pulled her in. Her first intention was to fight the arms, to kick whoever was behind her, but she couldn't feel any danger. Quite contrary to that, she felt comfortable. Safe.

"Greg?"

"Mhm, I thought, better safe than sorry. Why let you get through a nightmare when we can have a night without nightmares?"

"All you want is to be in bed with me."

"Busted." He kissed her hair. "You can slap me for that tomorrow."

"Only if you don't scare the nightmares away."

"I will. And I'll wake you up at seven for therapy."

"Join me there?"

"No, I'll come along later and we'll buy your car."

"And have a joyride?"

"Absolutely. We can drive the route 66 through the city and back."

"Dates with you are quite cool. I should have known that earlier." She yawned.

"Don't rub salt in my wounds."

"Sorry." She smiled, snuggled in his arms. Being in Greg's arms felt good. She knew, she could trust him, she had always trusted him. He felt more like a brother to her than her own brother ever did.


	36. Chapter 36

**Friday, August 7th**

"Would you get hip to this kindly tip and go take that California trip get your kicks on Route 66." Greg sang with the Rolling Stones. They were on the Route 66, started at the Santa Monica Pier, through West Hollywood up to Upland. Sara used Ford Mercury Mountaineer brought them there in ninety minutes now they were on their way back to Silver Lake, windows down and music loud.

"Do you want to get some kicks with me, Sara?"

"Maybe some sticks – chopsticks."

"Is that a hint you want lunch? Alright baby." Greg had taken over the steering wheel on their way back to test Sara's car. The Mountaineer was four years old, in good condition and so far, there was nothing they could complain about.

"Or do you have to save yourself for tonight?"

"She's jealous." Greg smirked. "My Sara is jealous, oh sweet Jesus, thanks for that."

"Jerk."

"Right, so right. Oh Sara, I love you."

"And I won't take you back to Silver Lake if you're a pain in the ass."

"Come on, it's not my fault, she asked me. More or less."

"I don't want details!"

Greg grinned. He had picked Sara up after therapy and when he and Jules met for the brief moment she escorted Sara out of her office, they had talked and ended the conversation with a new appointment for dinner. Something Sara didn't want to hear.

"You all go out for dates, I stay at home, take care of the dogs. They want to spend time with me."

"I'm sure Sofia also wants to spend time with you."

"She wasn't home this morning, she'll stay the rest of the weekend with Ellen. Rebuilding an old relationship."

"I still can't believe that. Ellen is…not whom I would choose for Sofia."

"Who would you choose?"

"I don't know, somebody who is more…sensitive. Ellen is hot, but self-centered. I can't see her in a long term relationship. I doubt she's capable of putting herself behind for somebody."

"Love doesn't make sense all the time and it certainly doesn't think."

"Lust even less. Sofia is a sexy woman, exactly what Ellen needs to show off."

"So why is Sofia so stupid and let her ex use her?"

"Sometimes you know you're acting stupid but you can't change it."

"Yeah." Sara looked out of the window. She had no idea why, but she felt a little bit disappointed that Sofia let herself pull into whatever Ellen planed with her. For Sara it had looked the whole time like the blonde didn't like a single thing Ellen did. At the same time, she wasn't able to stop herself from getting dragged in. That wasn't the Sofia she knew.

"So after being the proud owner of a car, when will you come to Vegas?"

"As soon as I've two days off."

"Good, that can't take too long. I'll try to have the same days off but you won't leave the city without a visit in the lab. They guys want to see you."

"Five minutes."

"Come on."

"Okay, a breakfast in our old diner, where Nick's car got stolen one day."

"Don't remind me of that day, that wasn't funny."

"We all were at the same crime scene and saw different things."

"You flirted with a best man."

"He flirted with me – tried to. Absolutely drunk."

"You were involved with Grissom at that time, did you feel …like you wanted a wedding too?"

"No."

"Oh come on, you never thought of marrying Grissom?"

"We weren't that long together when we worked this case. Later I might have wasted a thought or two how it could be to be Misses Grissom and have a wedding. I mean, we were engaged, we had plans to get married. But not that kind of wedding. A simple ceremony, no guests, no celebration. If I ever get married, it will be in private."

"Can I be there?"

"You have to be there, you'll be my groomsman."

He held his heart. "Ouch, that was painful. For years, I didn't want anything else than being your husband, now that I'm over you, you play with me and my feelings. You're so cruel Sara Sidle, a really cruel woman with no heart. When will we get married? Shall I drive us to Vegas right away?"

"You said, you're over me."

"One of your cute smiles and I'm yours again."

"Get us to an Asian take away shop, Lover Boy."

"A wedding lunch."

"Last supper?"

"There is the cynical Sara again, I like her too. Always good for a cynical and sarcastic comment when other women would talk sweet things about romance and love. You're a woman, I can invite to a rock concert for a date."

Sara blinked at him, put her hand on his and enjoyed the warm wind, that came through the window. This was good, this felt right. Her own car, a warm late summer day and an old friend by her side. There were no words to thank him for last night. Greg had simply been there, had taken her in his arms, made sure she was fine without really knowing what was haunting her. He didn't need explanations, he saw what she needed and gave her, what was good for her. No thoughts of what he'd get out of it. Was it worth staying in L.A. or was she better off to go back to Vegas, to have him close?

A new beginning in a new town, a new job, a job she had never worked in before. She was an absolutely beginner, her time at university was useless, she had to learn a lot of new things. No more CSI, no more law enforcement. A brand new start. Was it a good idea? Was she capable of doing the job, she had applied for? What, if she wasn't good enough, got kicked out? Would she try to find another job in L.A. or would she move on? Go anywhere else. Maybe back to San Francisco. Her old home town. Was it possible to make the things, that went wrong there years ago, go right? Was it better for her…disorder…to be at the place, where all the bad things had happened? Could she fight her fears there better?

A hand, that was placed on her shoulder and gently shook a bit, got her back in reality.

"Did you sleep?"

"No, I was thinking."

"You don't look like you had happy thoughts."

"So many things have happened the last days, weeks, I made plans for a brand new start and sometimes I've got doubts, if these plans are good. What if I fail?"

"Sara Sidle doesn't fail."

"If I fail, if I can't work as a ranger because I'm not good enough, then what?"

"Won't happen. You can and will work as a ranger. You're a smart woman, you'll learn everything fast, no doubt about that. You were a great teacher when I became a CSI, without I'd be still a lab rat. You can only be a good teacher when you were a good student."

"I hope so."

"I know so." He hugged her. "Come on, ranger, time for some lunch. A chopstick duel."

"D'Artagnan?"

"I prefer Charlie's Angels over the three musketeers. The angels are sexier."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"You know me too well." He pulled her in his arms and walked with her to the little Asian take away shop. His week with Sara was almost over, time flew. He had to talk with Grissom about the next two or three days off. Maybe it wasn't enough to see Sara once a month. Maybe he wanted to see her more often.

* * *

When they came back home in the late afternoon, the house was empty. Neither Sofia nor the dogs were around.

"Looks like I'll have an evening on my own."

"You can join me."

"I won't join you on your date with my therapist."

"Not date, dinner."

"Same shit, different name."

"My grumpy Sara, I love you." He kissed her cheek and went away to get ready for his dinner.

With a book and a juice, Sara sat down in the garden. She didn't feel like going out for a run, she wanted a quiet evening and read. A good preparation made her feel more safe. She had always been an avid reader, that helped her now too.

"Your last chance to change your mind about dinner." Greg came in the garden. He didn't wear anything fancy, only some blue jeans, a shirt and black shoes. He looked more like he wanted to spend the evening with some guys in a bar. Somehow Sara liked that more than a Greg in a suit. This looked more casual, not formal, not like he wanted to impress doctor Weinberg.

"No, thanks."

"Your choice. I'll see you later."

"If you don't come home too late."

"Before midnight, mom." He bent down and kissed her cheek.

"Good." She smiled.

"If there is anything, you need anything, call me. Okay?"

"Okay."

She watched him vanish in the living room. Now she was alone. A big house, not her house, and she was alone. On a Friday night. She was the same poor show she had been in high school and college. Everybody was out, having fun while she sat at home and read. Some things never changed.

Like feelings for your ex? Sofia was apparently still or again out with Ellen. She had probably taken the dogs with her and wouldn't come home tonight. What would happen if Sara came to Vegas? Would she fall for Grissom again? Would her old feelings for him, feelings, that made her come from San Francisco to Las Vegas, take over and she fall for him again? Could a relationship, that didn't work out the first time, have a happy ending when you tried it for the second time. Going back to your ex meant, you knew the person, you knew about the mistakes and the good sides, you knew what the other wanted, what the other one could give you. You knew why it didn't work out first, can make sure, it would be different the next time.

Which mistakes did she make in their relationship? It took two to make a relationship work, it usually took two make it fail. Sure it was easier to concentrate on the mistakes of your ex, but she hadn't been easy nor fair either. She hadn't talked to him when she felt, she wasn't alright, that she needed some time away from Vegas. She hadn't told him, her past was haunting her, was inferring with her life, her cases, their relationship. She had written a letter and left it. No real goodbye.

When he didn't follow her immediately, she blamed him. She sent him a video message that it was over because he didn't make a decision. Now she knew, it wasn't fair to end it because he didn't quit his job and followed her. She had never asked if he wanted another life, if he was alright with being somewhere else. She had left, started a new life, went to Costa Rica and when he didn't follow her like a puppy, she sent him the video that it was over. Maybe they weren't meant for each other but he had deserved better.

Something wet and cold was suddenly on her hand. She pulled it back and realized, it was the wet and cold snout of Rantanplan.

"Hey boy, where do you come from?"

"A long walk on the beach with my best pale Scoob and my mommy." Sofia came out of the living room, a bottle of beer in her hands.

"Sounds like a good day."

"Wasn't too bad. What about your day? How is it to own a car again?"

"Great, I feel independent now."

"You took it out for a little drive?"

"Greg and me drove to Upland, the old Route 66 for a nostalgic day with some oldies coming out of the radio."

"Sounds like a good day too. Where's Greg? In bed?"

"Out for dinner."

"Don't tell me he's having another dinner date with doctor Weinberg."

"I can assure you, I won't say that." Sara grumbled.

"Okay." Sofia smiled a bit. "Do you mind?"

"You sitting here or he dating my therapist?"

"Both."

"Both are things I've no influence over."

"When you tell me to get lost, I'll go."

"Your house."

"You pay rent."

"I don't mind you here, Sofia. Why should I?"

"Because I'm not a good friend."

"Why's that?"

"When you needed me last night, I wasn't there. I told you, you can stay with me, I'll scare the nightmares away and I wasn't there."

"You're not my slave, you're entitled to your own life. Besides, Greg was there and he did a good job."

"I bet he didn't mind."

"No, not at all. Did you have a good time?"

"Let's say I'm not proud of the last twenty-four hours and I rather not talk about them."

"It's nothing wrong to reconnect with the ex."

"Believe, me, everything of that was wrong. But it won't happen again."

"That means, you won't go out tonight?"

"Only if you want to go out with me."

"I'd rather stay at home."

"So we'll stay home. How was therapy?"

"Alright. I told her about my dreams, that I blame myself all the time and I don't have so bad nightmares when you or Greg are with me."

"What did she say about that?"

"At the end I've to sleep alone in my bed in order to handle my life alone."

"A typical therapist answer."

"Yeah, she's a spoilsport, only jealous that I've company while she has to sleep alone."

"You never know, she might not be alone tonight."

"He'll be back until midnight, she has to sleep alone and that's all I want to say about that topic."

"Okay." Sofia smiled a bit.

"How is Don?"

"Better. I talked to him for a while, he'll be back on Sunday afternoon. So far it doesn't look like we'll lose him to New York. He keeps his past in the past and won't plan his future around it."

"That's a good thing. A difficult but good thing. I'll try the same."

"Same here." Sofia finished her beer. "Want one too?"

"Yeah, why not. Thanks." The good thing about sharing a house was, she wasn't alone. She used to be a loner, tried to keep people out of her live, the last couple of days made it obvious, she liked to spend time with people she liked. So far it hadn't bothered her, that she had only her bedroom and bathroom to her own. That was enough. When she was in her bedroom, the door closed, usually nobody came along and bothered her. Don had a little sign on his room, one side said 'coffee break', the other one 'interrogation'. When you could read the coffee break, you could come in, the interrogation meant, please stay out. Not once she had seen the interrogation side.

"There are little smoke clouds above your head, you're thinking too hard, Sara." Sofia handed her the cold bottle of beer with a smile.

"I'll dowse the brain fire with beer."

"At least you don't look like you it was something bad you've got thought of."

"No, I thought that it's good to be here. That even when I share a house with two people, I've got my private time and everybody accepts the private time and space of the other."

"Of course. If you don't want to see anybody, we'll accept that."

"Not like in the motel when somebody got the second key to come in."

Sofia smiled. "You wanted to see me, you were only unable to say or show that. Lucky for you, I'm a smart woman most times and I understood you."

The door bell rang. "Stay, I'll have a look. Probably it's Greg and he forgot his keys."

"That was a short date." Sofia grinned.

"Only dinner, all for my therapy." Sara grumbled and got up. She hated it when Sofia put pictures in her head, she didn't want to see. With Scooby right behind her, she went to the front door. Instead of Greg she found Ellen there.


End file.
